Along with a luxe wellness retreat and MasterChef appearance, the faux royal tour included time spent on causes the couple clearly care about

• Prince Harry and Meghan’s visit to Australia – in pictures

In Aussie parlance, Meghan and Prince Harry’s whirlwind visit down under was the very definition of a “Claytons” tour.

Claytons in Australia is primarily known as a cultural phrase for a substitute, fake or ersatz version of something, the saying evolving from a 1970s/80s non-alcoholic beverage marketed as “the drink you have when you’re not having a drink”.

From wood pulp in ice-cream to peat in portobellos, science has transformed how we dine. Do you know exactly what’s lurking in the grub we eat?

Microbial slime and a side helping of sand doesn’t sound like much of a meal, but a startling amount of the food we eat today contains ingredients that are, at the very least, unexpected – and, at worst, dangerous, such as heavy metals from polluted soils.

Then there is the thorny question of what ultra‑processed foods in our diets might be doing to us. “While each food additive, so‑called processing aid, fortificant and unrecognisably modified ingredient has been tested individually and declared safe, are they really?” asks Chris Young, who runs the Real Bread Campaign for Sustain, the alliance for better food and farming, and was named joint winner of Slow Food In The UK’s 2025 person of the year award. “The studies are relatively small and short, leaving history littered with additives that we were once promised would not harm us but were later withdrawn or banned on health grounds. What might the long-term effect be of eating such substances, individually or in the cocktails created for each product and across our shopping baskets?”

The chancellor has wisely vowed to drive down the annual deficit, but long-term defence investment must not be delayed

There is a good reason Rachel Reeves is wary of the dreaded bond market vigilantes. Anyone who inherits a mountain of debt and then finds out that many of the lenders act like sharks is right to be concerned.

Most of the participants in financial markets are not actively predatory. They swim in a sea of money with only one rule, to stick together, hoovering up as much profit as they can at the lowest risk.

Grammy-winning songwriter says she was deceived into pregnancy, and that cases like hers fall between the cracks

When the Grammy award winning songwriter, Olivia Nervo, agreed to start a family with her partner she believed she was in “a monogamous, committed relationship leading to a future”, and had never heard of reproductive coercion.

Her world came crashing down when she was six months pregnant and she found out that her partner was in a relationship with another woman who was also pregnant, and with whom he already had a child.

Suspicious wagers on the US-Israel war in Iran are creating huge windfalls and raising concerns among lawmakers

Sixteen bets made $100,000 each accurately predicting the timing of the US airstrikes against Iran on 27 February. Later, a single user would make over $550,000 after betting that Ayatollah Ali Khamenei would topple, just moments before his assassination by Israeli forces. On 7 April, right before Donald Trump announced a temporary ceasefire with Iran, traders bet $950m that oil prices would come down. They did.

These bets and other well-timed wagers accurately predicted the precise timing of major developments in the US-Israel war with Iran, creating huge windfalls and raising concerns among lawmakers and experts over potential insider trading.

(Warner Records)
The ‘Queen of Pop’ conjures the heady vibes of a small hours dancefloor with this exceptionally crafted single

Recent years have not been particularly kind to Madonna. Her tours have been dogged by controversy of a very different type to the scandal she once happily courted: in 2024 some disgruntled fans attempted to sue her for turning up on stage two hours later than scheduled.

Her albums have garnered a noticeably mixed reception and sold in increasingly diminishing quantities, each one shifting half what its predecessor did: she dismissed 2012’s MDNA and 2015’s Rebel Heart as albums she made “reluctantly”, but there were fewer takers still for 2019’s Madame X, an authentically bizarre patchwork of trap, reggaeton, Portuguese fado and politically inclined lyrics.

Deputy prime minister says it is ‘inexplicable’ top civil servant kept Downing Street in dark

Keir Starmer would have blocked Peter Mandelson from serving as the UK’s ambassador to Washington had he known he failed security vetting, David Lammy has said, as he attempted to shore up the prime minister amid damaging fallout from the row.

In his first public comments on the vetting affair, Lammy said it was “inexplicable” that Oliver Robbins, the former top civil servant who was forced out of the Foreign Office this week, had opted to leave Downing Street in the dark over the outcome.

IRGC reportedly fires on tanker as it tries to pass through strait during brief window when shipping lane had reopened

• Analysis: Trump and Tehran’s series of mismanaged posts stall progress towards peace

Iranian officials say they have reversed the reopening of the strait of Hormuz and reimposed restrictions on the vital shipping lane after the US said it would not end its blockade of Iranian ports.

A UK maritime agency reported that Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) ships had fired at a tanker as it attempted to pass through the strait on Saturday. Reuters reported an Indian-flagged vessel carrying crude oil had also been attacked while in the waterway.

Labour calls on Nigel Farage to sack candidates and says his party’s checks ‘clearly not fit for purpose’

Reform UK’s checks on candidates are “clearly not fit for purpose”, Labour has said after two more candidates in May’s local elections were accused of making offensive or potentially racist social media posts.

Meanwhile, it emerged that Restore Britain, the party set up by the MP Rupert Lowe after he left Reform, appeared to have accepted a donation from someone who has called publicly on social media for “another Hitler” to come to power.

Pierre Guillon de Prince believed to be first in France to formally apologise for ancestors’ connections to slavery

An 86-year-old man has issued what is believed to be the first formal apology by someone in France for their family’s role in transatlantic slavery.

Pierre Guillon de Prince’s ancestors were shipowners based in Nantes, the country’s largest port for transatlantic slavery. They transported about 4,500 enslaved Africans and owned plantations in the Caribbean.

The gunman, who killed six people in Kyiv before police shot him dead, was a Ukrainian citizen born in Moscow

Ukrainian investigators are examining whether a terrorist attack in Kyiv was directed by Moscow after a man shot dead six people on Saturday before he was killed by police.

The gunman, 58, opened fire on passersby before barricading himself in a supermarket and taking hostages. Detectives sealed off the area in the Holosiivskyi district and tried to negotiate with him. He refused and was killed after a 40-minute standoff.

Xavier Giannoli says criticism that Les Rayons et les Ombres invites sympathy for characters is ‘profoundly dishonest’

The director of a box office hit film about Nazi collaboration and its Oscar-winning star have described criticisms they have whitewashed wartime atrocities as dishonest and “a scandal”.

Xavier Giannoli and the actor Jean Dujardin were responding to a bitter row that has divided French historians over the film Les Rayons et les Ombres (Rays and Shadows), which recounts the story of the wartime press baron Jean Luchaire.

Breakthrough prize in Life Sciences awarded to team who developed Luxturna therapy, which helped a patient see their child’s face for the first time

A married couple who met over a dissected brain and went on to create the first approved gene therapy for blindness have been awarded one of the most lucrative prizes in science.

Molecular biologist Jean Bennett and ophthalmologist Albert Maguire share the $3m (£2.2m) Breakthrough prize for life sciences with physician Katherine High for the 25-year-long project, during which the couple adopted a pair of dogs they had treated for blindness.

Pontiff says that despite ‘certain narrative that has not been accurate’, he will continue to preach message of peace

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Pope Leo XIV said on Saturday that it was “not in my interest at all” to debate the US president, Donald Trump, about the Iran war, but that he would continue preaching the Gospel message of peace.

Leo spoke to reporters aboard the papal plane flying from Cameroon to Angola as part of his 11-day tour of Africa.

The Victoria Cross recipient faces five charges of war crime murder over allegations he killed unarmed civilians during his service with the Australian SAS in Afghanistan

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Alleged war criminal Ben Roberts-Smith says he has “never run from a fight in my life” as he denied war crime murder charges relating to the shooting deaths of five unarmed civilians.

In his first public comments since being arrested on 7 April, Roberts-Smith spoke to the media from the Gold Coast, where he has been bailed ahead of a possible trial.

Hannah Spencer says minister ‘continuously offends people by saying working-class people don’t care about dogs’

Labour is “offensively caricaturing” working-class people by saying they do not want a greyhound racing ban in England, the Green party MP Hannah Spencer has said.

The sport has traditionally been associated with working-class culture and has historically been popular in so-called red wall areas, which Labour insiders suggest is part of the reason why there are no plans for England to follow bans announced last month in Scotland and Wales.

Troops frequently use substances to help cope with untreated PTSD and anxiety, producing a negative spiral

Seven years clean, Oleksandr believed he had left addiction behind. Then, a year into fighting Russia, the Ukrainian soldier was prescribed painkillers for a shoulder injury. Under the strain of war, he relapsed and quickly began using stronger illicit opioids.

“From that moment, I was fighting two wars – one inside myself and one with Russia,” he said, speaking at a rehabilitation facility in Kyiv.

Oleksandr relapsed into addiction after treatment for a shoulder injury sustained during fighting.

Staff at outlets critical of Tehran have faced chilling intimidation and violence, amid calls for greater protection and support

Iranian journalists working in London say they fear for their lives after a recent spate of threats and physical attacks, which they blame on a Tehran regime intent on silencing Persian-language news media such as BBC Persian and Iran International.

On Wednesday, the London offices of Iran International, a news channel that opposes the regime in Tehran, were the target of an attempted arson attack, with an “ignited container” thrown into the car park of a neighbouring building, according to the Metropolitan police.

As the zoo celebrates its 200th birthday, photographer David Levene captures the people keeping their (sometimes very dangerous) patients healthy and happy. Introduction: Patrick Barkham

• Some images may be upsetting to young audiences

How do you shift a sedated rhino? Can a dormouse be drugged? What happens to a lion with an unusually small ear canal? How does the world’s longest venomous snake respond to treatment?

This place is about so much more than just a portobello mushroom in a white bap masquerading as dinner

Holy Carrot has, cough, taken root in Spitalfields, east London. It’s the second sprouting from this plant-based restaurant with a name that’s especially hard to sell to meat-loving friends. “Please come with me to a vegan restaurant,” one might say. “It’s not one of those pious places, honest! Oh, um, the name? Holy Carrot.” In fairness, though, it’s generally tricky to cajole meaty people to venture anywhere vegan or even vegetarian, because there’s always a sense that your steak addict acquaintance is enduring their meal “as an experiment”, and despite quite charitably being “willing to be convinced”. Sigh … it’s exhausting.

Still, chef Daniel Watkins’ first Holy Carrot restaurant over in Notting Hill has made its name over the past couple of years as a place where you can take a mixed group without someone throwing a tantrum about the dearth of pork chops. Watkins’ preference for live-fire cooking and fermentation led to the likes of roast aubergine with koji mole, smoked tofu stracciatella with rhubarb nam jim, artichoke schnitzel with pickles and curry sauce and sweet potato with corn miso butter. Take your miso-Marmite koji bread, scoop it though some smoked mushroom chilli ragu, then take a sip of your black walnut gimlet to put a sparkle in your eye, or even just a Holy Carrot 0% spritz with no-waste carrot molasses.

Exclusive: Former Scottish Labour leader says she feels more scared as a lesbian today and calls for a kinder debate on transgender issues

Kezia Dugdale, the former leader of Scottish Labour, says she is now “quite scared” as a lesbian in Britain and has started to feel nervous holding her wife’s hand in public.

Speaking to the Guardian in Edinburgh on the announcement of her appointment as the chair of Stonewall, the LGBTQ+ charity, she said it was “completely possible” gay rights in the UK could be eroded with the rise of rightwing populism.

Your history of being picked on at school has a lot do with your feelings of being ‘faulty’. Getting involved in a group of mixed ages would help avoid memories of childhood

I’m in my late 30s and have a beautiful two-year-old boy and a supportive husband. But when I take my son out I feel like a rejected teenager again, surrounded by groups taking their kids out together.

I had friends when I was younger, but moved schools as a teenager and was badly bullied. It affected my confidence to the point I was painfully shy through most of university. I thought I was ugly, stupid, unlikable and found it hard to make friends. Then I moved to London, where it was also hard to make friends.

Barack Obama and Helen Mirren contribute to Queen Elizabeth II: Her Story, Our Century. Plus: David Attenborough’s delightful tour of British backyards continues. Here’s what to watch this evening

9pm, BBC One

As excitement mounts for the 2026 event on 26 April fraudsters are cashing in by trying to persuade disappointed hopefuls they can run after all

You didn’t get a place for the London marathon on the ballot and had given up on the hope of taking part this year. But then someone in a discussion group on your running app posts that they are injured and are selling their place.

After contacting them on WhatsApp, they say they can transfer the place once you pay £79 via bank transfer, and give your full name and email address.

Don’t come to this Canadian show looking for prestige drama. But it is a highly entertaining tale featuring numerous holdalls of cocaine – and Driver having loads of fun with English accents

Television drama loves border country: places hovering between one identity and another, defined by comings and goings, with forbidden bounty forever out of reach on the other side of the line. Near borders, things happen that shouldn’t. Let’s go, then, to the Thousand Islands archipelago, in the St Lawrence River between Ontario and New York state, where there are countless Ozark-y creeks to hide in, not much to do except get in trouble, and cold, cold water to sweep away your corpse if it all goes wrong. The Murder Line has a high old time there.

By choosing that title, ITV is perhaps trying to draw in sleuthing fans who would otherwise be watching Danish or Irish cops crack cases on BBC Four. But originally, in its native Canada, this show was called The Borderline – hilariously, the theme song was a slow, gruffly atmospheric cover version of Borderline by Madonna – and it’s more crime caper than detective drama, not so much a whodunnit as a willhegetawaywithit.

The horror maestro delivers a fresh take on the classic monster schlocker, and the former 1D man is back with a new album of slinky, loved-up R’n’B

Lee Cronin’s The Mummy
Out now
You probably know what The Mummy is, but do you know what a Lee Cronin is? Allow us to assist: he’s the Irish director responsible for effective indie horror The Hole in the Ground and the highest grossing entry in the Evil Dead franchise, Evil Dead Rises. His version of this classic horror sees a journalist (Jack Reynor) and his wife (Laia Costa) reunited with their child who went missing in the desert eight years ago, with nightmarish consequences.

Here’s how to follow along with our coverage – the finest writing and up-to-the-minute reports

The artist and national treasure explores the terrifying onset of AI, and Christian Petzold and Paula Beer team up again for a mysterious drama. Here’s the pick of the week’s culture, taken from the Guardian’s best-rated reviews

Need something brilliant to read this weekend? Here are six of our favourite pieces from the last seven days

A makeshift Manchester United defence did not even have to resort to hair pulls to keep out a goalshy Chelsea. The unfamiliar pairing of Ayden Heaven and Noussair Mazraoui grew into a tepid game after a shaky start, making the full-time boos inevitable. Stamford Bridge was an unhappy place again, the unrest in the stands growing as a fourth consecutive defeat in the Premier League approached, and the only time the home fans stopped pining for the old Chelsea was when Mason Mount came on to help United protect their 1-0 lead.

Think back to Porto in May 2021. Back then, long before anyone in west London had heard of BlueCo, it was Mount who created the winner when Chelsea became kings of Europe for the second time. Five years on, though, this is a club that cannot even be sure that they will be in the Champions League next season.

Roberto De Zerbi could only watch in stunned silence. The Italian had been a crucible of emotions as Tottenham tried to hold out against his former club after Xavi Simons scored the goal that looked like ending their long wait for a victory. But football is capable of providing the cruellest twists and Georginio Rutter’s late dramatic equaliser must have felt like a dagger to the heart for De Zerbi and the Tottenham fans.

The draw leaves Spurs marooned in the relegation zone having failed to win in the league in 2026 and it is 15 games since they last achieved that feat. Fail to beat the bottom side Wolves next week and they will have matched the worst winless run in their history. De Zerbi was right to point to the positives afterwards even if the preposterous prospect of this magnificent stadium hosting Championship football next season is growing by the day. Victory for West Ham against Crystal Palace on Monday night would leave them four points from safety and almost needing a miracle.

• Chiefs’ new owner will be Black Knight Sports and Entertainment

• Michael B Jordan has stake in company that owns Bournemouth

Bill Foley, owner of AFC Bournemouth, is poised to take control of Exeter Chiefs in a multimillion-pound deal that will bring Premier League and Hollywood glamour to English club rugby.

The Guardian revealed this week that Exeter’s chair, Tony Rowe, had agreed to sell the club to a wealthy American investor, and can now disclose the club’s new owner will be Foley’s multisport investment company, Black Knight Sports and Entertainment.

• Iceland 0-1 England

• Russo goal and Hampton saves keep Lionesses top of group

Snow-capped mountains provided an idyllic backdrop to a less impressive performance, but England’s 1-0 win over Iceland ensured they maintained a three-point gap over Spain in their bid to earn an automatic place at the 2027 World Cup.

Only the four League A teams who top their groups will avoid the playoffs and qualify automatically, and with the European and world champions drawn in the same group, one will be left frustrated and with more games required to book their trip to Brazil.

• NFL says no probe into Vrabel over resort photos

• Patriots silent on whether team will launch review

• Russini resigned from job after images surfaced

The NFL is not investigating Mike Vrabel’s behavior after published photos of the New England Patriots coach and former Athletic reporter Dianna Russini at an Arizona resort prompted her resignation and an internal investigation at The New York Times-owned sports outlet.

NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy confirmed to the Associated Press on Saturday the league is not looking into the matter. The Patriots didn’t immediately respond to a question about whether the team has launched its own review of Vrabel’s actions.

• American dismisses Dubois as ‘not on my level’

• Baumgardner targets bouts with Taylor or Serrano

• British stablemate touts fight as ‘best versus best’

A dismissive Alycia Baumgardner said Britain’s Caroline Dubois still has more to prove before the American will entertain a fight between the two unified champions.

That was the curt assessment from Baumgardner early Saturday morning after she retained her WBA, WBO and IBF junior lightweight world titles with a controlled, at times punishing display across 10 three-minute rounds against Bo Mi Re Shin in a main event that started well past midnight at Madison Square Garden.

• Atlético Madrid 2-2 Real Sociedad (aet: 3-4 on pens)

• Lookman 19, Alvarez 83; Barrenetxea 1, Oyarzabal 45+1pen

History has a pair unexpected heroes. Unai Marrero, a 24-year-old backup goalkeeper, born in San Sebastián and raised at Real Sociedad, saved two penalties in the shootout to put his boyhood club within a single shot of victory on the what his captain had called the night of their lives. Then he embraced Pablo Marin, the former ballboy who now walked towards him carrying all of their hopes on his shoulders, kissed him on the cheek and asked his teammate to take them over the line. So Marin, 22, and on as a substitute, did just that, stepping up and securing only the fourth Copa del Rey in la Real’s history, defeating Atlético Madrid from the spot.

Last time they had won it, in 2021, it took a penalty. This time it took six of them; Mikel Oyarzabal, as he had done then, scored one during the 90 minutes on the way to a 2-2 draw and three more men did in the shootout. Back then, Real Sociedad had won the trophy it in an empty stadium, unable to avoid the feeling that something was missing. Now at last they had done it in front of thousands of fans in Seville – there to see a trophy lifted for the first time in 38 years.

• World Championship venue has a minute’s applause

• Zhao Xintong starts title defence with edgy victory

A minute’s applause was paid in tribute to John Virgo, who died in February aged 79, as the World Snooker Championship got under way at the Crucible in Sheffield.

Virgo, who won the UK Championship in 1979, enjoyed a successful playing career but was best known for his broadcasting. During his 18 years as a professional, he reached the World Championship semi-finals in 1979. He went on to work for the BBC in 1994 and his voice became a distinctive feature of the national broadcaster’s snooker coverage for three decades.

• Six drivers taken to hospital with non life-threatening injuries

• F1 world champion Max Verstappen is competing at event

The racing driver Juha Miettinen has died after a multi-car collision in the ADAC 24h Nürburgring Qualifiers in Germany, which were also set to feature the four-time Formula One champion Max Verstappen.

According to a statement from the organisers, race control immediately stopped competition following the serious incident early on, which involved seven drivers, and emergency services quickly arrived on scene. They were unable to save 66-year-old Miettinen, who was removed from the vehicle and later died at the medical centre after attempts at resuscitation were unsuccessful.

Yes, we should all cut our loved ones some slack. But asking me to listen attentively to my husband’s football chat – and mirror it back to him – is definitely a step too far

How do you tell the difference between a sign from the universe and a coincidence? It’s been a challenging couple of weeks in my house, because my husband has been Going Through Something. In other words, Arsenal FC have been up to their old tricks. He’s their most ardent fan, a cheap seats season ticket holder (he can only see half the pitch). I stay out of it, mainly, viewing it as a vaguely amusing masochistic hobby, which probably bodes well for me in a general sense since he remains devoted even though they almost always disappoint, if not devastate him.

Recently, he has been particularly despondent. Yet again, Arsenal were on the brink of triumph, and then started playing as if they were an out of shape pub five-a-side team mistakenly welcomed on to the pitch, like that man who was waiting in the BBC reception for a job interview and ended up live on air. The Guardian’s latest match report compares this season to “watching somebody have their toenails very slowly peeled off with a set of pruning secateurs”.

I have a lot of sympathy for Meghan but, at times, I do think that the Duchess of Sussex could do with putting her trials and tribulations in perspective

Iran may have reopened the strait of Hormuz, but a global energy crisis has not yet been averted. The war has already damaged as much as $58bn worth of power infrastructure. Even under the best-case circumstances, these could take years to repair.

Luckily, I think I’ve got a way to get us out of this mess. First we invent some sort of large suction device (technical details to be worked out later). Then we turn it on and hoover up all the rage directed at the Duchess of Sussex. Boom, energy crisis solved.

Arwa Mahdawi is a Guardian US columnist

It breaks my heart to see young people disengaged when so much inspiration is within reach. I want our new museum to bridge that gap

• Gus Casely-Hayford is director of V&A East

One of the most affecting of the many artist commissions that have found a home in the circulation spaces of the new V&A East museum is an exquisite indigo, cobalt blue and cyan stained-glass window, Towards a Civic Museum.

Part of our series of New Work commissions, it was created by the Cuban artist Tania Bruguera in extended consultation with a dozen young east Londoners from our V&A East Youth Collective. It is an unusual piece of stained glass, at once a map of the four boroughs that bound our site on the Olympic Park and a list of wishes, a contract between east London and V&A East. Created in the post-pandemic period, it advances aspirations, something I imagine that all reasonable museum professionals would wish for our sector: that we are open, accessible, useful, relevant and engaged. That we care for and reflect the needs of the communities we serve. That we are transparent, encourage advocacy, demonstrate generosity, equity, accountability, sustainability and – critically – a willingness to collaborate.

The US attack on Iran has made the need for renewable energy inarguable. Environmentalists are now being seen for the pragmatists that they are

Donald Trump has done more to accelerate the energy transition than anyone else alive. Fossil fuel companies bankrolled his presidential campaign to stop the transition in its tracks. But when you back a volatile narcissist, unable to concentrate for more than a few minutes at a time, you shouldn’t expect to control the outcome.

It’s not that the fossils are suffering yet. As prices have soared since Trump and Netanyahu attacked Iran, oil executives have been selling shares at gobsmacking prices: the CEO of Chevron, for example, has cashed $104m so far this year. Vladimir Putin has also received a massive boost to his Ukraine invasion budget. As promised, Trump has gutted clean energy rules and programmes, green alternatives and environmental science. A fortnight ago, he stated, with the usual quantum of evidence (zero): “The environmentalists, I mean, they are terrorists … I call them environmental terrorists.”

George Monbiot is a Guardian columnist

The revival of the hit 2000s sitcom has none of the political subversiveness of the original. But should we be surprised?

One day in the near future, millennials like myself will be shuffling off into care homes. Once inside, what will we do to pass the time? Narrative podcasts from the 2010s will probably be piped into our bedrooms as the evenings approach, with early albums by Arctic Monkeys and the Strokes available on request. Paperback thrillers about the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami and the disappearance of flight MH370 will line the bookshelves. In the TV room, the fight for the remote will be over whether to rewatch The Simpsons, The Office or Girls; but a small minority of us, particularly those born in the early 1990s, will lobby for Malcolm in the Middle.

In fact, reading the news in 2024 that the acclaimed US sitcom from the 2000s was being revived for a four-part miniseries on Disney+ was the first time I felt directly targeted by the nostalgia industry. (This must be what it feels like to pay hundreds of pounds to see Paul Simon in 2026, I thought.) At once I was transported back to the suburban Sunday evenings of my childhood – the melancholic advance of school the next day momentarily abated by Sky One (channel 106), where I’d find a new episode about this combustive, melodramatic family.

When it comes to theology, Donald Trump’s vice-president clearly knows best. Are we about to see an American break with Rome?

The battle to be the absolute worst Trump henchman can feel so closely fought. But in the end, it’s always JD Vance, isn’t it? You would say Stephen Miller, but Miller’s too hidden to qualify as a front-of-house henchman among the US president’s court of grotesques. Stephen’s clearly been judged so wantonly horrifying that the administration must keep him out of public view. If you enter the store, Miller is the only-for-the-initiated entity alluded to in a whisper by the oleaginous sales assistant. “We do have something in the back – off-the-books, as it were – if sir is after something a little more … specialist.”

But Vance? Vance besets us like the 11th plague – the plague of media appearances. For the next South Park season, I hope the creators give their brilliantly ghastly little vice-president avatar a papal mitre to wear. After all, here we have a man whose pick-me book on his journey to Catholicism has yet to even be published. That tome currently lies in the rectum of HarperCollins, ready to be excreted in June – yet inevitably, Vance is already giving menacing doctrinal advice to the pope as part of the multi-theatre fallout of Operation Epic Facepalm.

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist

If only the PM had been the process-obsessed technocrat he was once painted as, this disaster wouldn’t have happened – and he wouldn’t be on the brink

Keir Starmer is dull and managerial, they said. He’s a process-obsessed technocrat, they said. He is, his opponents argued long before Starmer won a landslide election victory nearly two years ago, a bad choice for prime minister – indeed, unsuited to politics itself – because he is not so much a leader as a lawyer, animated less by ideology than by official documents and boring details.

If only.

Jonathan Freedland is a Guardian columnist

Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a response of up to 300 words by email to be considered for publication in our letters section, please click here.

Dazzling new additions like V&A East are a source of national pride, but so are much-loved regional institutions

The V&A East Museum, which opens its doors for the first time in Stratford, London, on Saturday, is the latest addition to the buzzing East Bank cultural quarter on the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park. This £135m architect-designed V&A outpost is a short walk from the V&A East Storehouse (on Time Magazine’s list of The World’s Greatest Places to Visit 2026) and Sadler’s Wells East, both of which arrived last year. The London College of Fashion has been there since 2024 and BBC Music Studios are due to open in 2027. Art, design, dance, fashion and music – welcome to London’s 21st-century culturopolis.

This once-neglected area of London – “a place where fridges went to die” as Gus Casely-Hayford, the director of V&A East, put it – has been transformed into a creative mecca. But in many parts of the UK the story is one of falling visitor numbers, job losses and the closure of much-loved music venues and art spaces. These architectural palaces are a far cry from many of the crumbling theatres and museums outside the capital (and their well-maintained European equivalents).

Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a response of up to 300 words by email to be considered for publication in our letters section, please click here.

The prime minister’s explanation has shifted between being misled and admitting error, raising questions about vetting, accountability and what he knew

In February, the prime minister apologised to victims of the late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, saying he had “believed (Peter) Mandelson’s lies” before making him Britain’s ambassador to the US. By March, that account had shifted. Faced with evidence that he was warned the appointment posed a “reputational risk”, but gave the peer the job anyway, Sir Keir Starmer accepted on a trip to Belfast that he “made a mistake”.

On Thursday responsibility appears to have moved again – this time on to officials. Sir Olly Robbins, the top civil servant in the Foreign Office, was forced out after the Guardian reported that Lord Mandelson had been denied security clearance for the role. No 10 said it was not told. These are not complementary explanations. They are competing ones. Either Sir Keir was misled, ignored warnings, or was failed by the system.

Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a response of up to 300 words by email to be considered for publication in our letters section, please click here.

Readers on the purpose of Nato and the merits of increasing military spending in straitened times

I was pleased to see your editorial challenging the rightwing narrative from George Robertson, who is demanding less welfare and more warfare (The Guardian view on defence spending: should the UK’s security rest with Donald Trump?, 14 April).

Why not extend the argument about the purpose of UK defence strategy to Nato more generally? The role of Nato is tied to the declining power of the US, as we can see when Donald Trump resents paying for it, but then expects support when he lashes out at other nations such as Iran.

It is not Keir Starmer’s resignation that is needed, but a shake-up of Whitehall and our constitution, writes Labour peer David Blunkett

The enormous controversy about the vetting process leading up to, and following, the appointment of Peter Mandelson as UK ambassador in Washington reveals a labyrinth within Whitehall and our constitution – which is a revelation even to those of us who have been in public life for over half a century (Revealed: Mandelson failed vetting but Foreign Office overruled decision, 16 April).

Three quite separate elements can appear contradictory, but can all be true at the same time. So, Keir Starmer could have been entirely telling the truth at the dispatch box last September when he said that all processes had been followed.

Paul Foxall responds to a review of the restaurant by Grace Dent and recalls dining with Max Wall and Michael Pointon

I was in harmony with Grace Dent’s review of Simpson’s-in-the-Strand (Simpson’s-in-the-Strand, London WC2: ‘A rollicking list of cosy British joys’ – restaurant review, 12 April). In past years such great clowns as Charlie Chaplin and Grock were celebrated visitors. It was later the haunt of clown Max Wall, who loved the menu of old English fare. As close friends, the writer Michael Pointon and I spent leisurely lunches while Max entertained us with his memories of variety. He always ordered roast leg of lamb followed by treacle pudding, washed down with a bottle of Beaujolais Villages.

On one spring day in 1990 after our meal and his usual byplay with the admiring staff, Max had a fall on the steep stairs and remained unconscious until an ambulance arrived to take him to Westminster hospital, where he died that evening.
Paul Foxall
Collingbourne Ducis, Wiltshire

Vincent Straub advises on rethinking sexual pleasure – in response to an article about straight male authors avoiding the subject

Luke Kennard’s thoughtful piece on straight male authors avoiding writing about sex is well taken (Too hot to handle? Why it’s time for straight male authors to rediscover sex, 12 April). We should welcome more literary courage. But the more urgent conversation isn’t in the pages of fiction – it’s happening (or failing to happen) on dating apps, in classrooms and at parties.

Research shows that we need to rethink sexual pleasure in research, healthcare and society. There is growing evidence on the bidirectional links between sexual function and mental health. Yet many young people are not equipped by their teachers or parents with honest, embodied knowledge about sex and pleasure, let alone that of their partners.

• Winning robot records faster time than Jacob Kiplimo’s world record

• More than 100 robots run in parallel tracks to avoid collisions with humans

Dozens of Chinese-made humanoid robots showed off their fast-improving athleticism as they whizzed past human runners in a half-marathon race in Beijing on Sunday, having lagged far behind a year earlier.

The race’s inaugural edition last year was riddled with mishaps, as many robots struggled to get off the starting line, and most were unable to finish.

Two men died at the scene after head-on motorway collision near Kincross, Police Scotland say

Two drivers have died in a motorway crash in Scotland involving a car apparently travelling in the wrong direction on the carriageway, police have said.

The two men died at the scene of the collision on the M90 near Kinross, a town in Perth and Kinross, at 10.30pm on Friday.

Agency director threatens to sue Atlantic for report citing allegations from two dozen current and former colleagues

The FBI director, Kash Patel, is denying allegations detailed in a new report that he drinks to excess and has been unreachable at times during his tenure in office.

Patel threatened to sue the Atlantic over the story published on Friday, which detailed his alleged heavy drinking and how members of his security detail have on multiple occasions had difficulty waking him.

Justice for Fayed and Harrods Survivors group claim there are ‘dozens of individuals who must be held to account’

A group of 50 survivors of alleged sexual abuse by Harrods’ former owner Mohamed Al Fayed are calling for “meaningful consequences” for those who they claim facilitated and ignored the abuse.

“If they think the money is the important factor they are so far off the mark,” said Jen Mills, a member of the Justice for Fayed and Harrods Survivors group. They claim there are “dozens of individuals who must be held to account”, from a range of eras.

Officers responded after group claimed to have targeted nearby Israeli embassy with ‘dangerous substances’

Kensington Gardens in London has reopened after the discovery of several suspicious items including two jars containing a powdered substance that was deemed to be non-hazardous, police said.

Officers in protective clothing responded to an incident near the Israeli embassy on Friday after counter-terrorism police investigated a video shared online in which a group claimed to have targeted the embassy with drones carrying “dangerous substances”.

A former horticultural nursery in Regent’s Park has been transformed into a diverse mix of habitats, with a wide range of species already spotted ahead of its opening to the public on April 27

When the Queen Elizabeth II garden opens in Regent’s Park this month, the first people to visit the Royal Parks’ £5m biodiversity project will quickly discover they are not, in fact, the first visitors.

That honour belongs to a hairy-footed flower bee, a breeding pair of geese, some dragonfly nymphs, a flock of grey wagtails, a prickle of hedgehogs, an armada of newts, a flutter of spring butterflies and a “very cheeky” fox.

Even as we empathise with these intelligent animals, our relentless push for resources kills them in their thousands, just as whalers once hunted them to the brink of extinction

For weeks now, a humpback whale has been trying to die. Entangled in ropes, it had wandered into the shallow Baltic Sea. Unable to feed, it is now subject to extreme dehydration, since whales satisfy their thirst through the fish they eat.

In such a parlous situation, the whale’s last resort was to strand itself on Poel Island, in the Bay of Wismar. Sadly, it has been a slow death. Beached whales die because they are crushed by their own weight. The German humpback’s agony may have been prolonged because it lay in shallow water and was thus only partly submerged.

Covid, light pollution regulations and faltering global economy affect location and intensity of brightness

Earth continues to get brighter every year, researchers have found, but the location and intensity of the progression has become increasingly volatile because of Covid-19, regulations on light pollution, and a faltering global economy.

Nasa-funded researchers at the University of Connecticut (UConn) studied more than 1.1m satellite images taken over a nine-year period to establish that the planet’s artificial light increased by a net 16% between 2014 and 2022.

Langness, Isle of Man: With their epic migrations, they are special birds, but especially so here, the place that coined the name

A swallow recorded at the start of March, sand martins mid-month. This year, many harbingers of spring have come early due to the warming climate, so here on the island, the question was: would our Manx shearwaters return early too?

Few places have birds named after them, but the Isle of Man is one (Sardinia another, for Sardinian warblers), the name granted in 1835 thanks to a large shearwater colony on the Calf of Man, an island off our south-west corner. That population was devastated by rats from a shipwreck, but after a rodent eradication programme by the Manx Wildlife Trust, numbers have rebounded to more than 1,500 breeding pairs.

The Plaza Prizes offered 10 awards in 2025 but some judges say they were not paid, while a number of winners hit back over AI accusations

A competition for new writers that promised a £20,000 prize fund appears to have shut down, leaving winners and judges, including a Booker prize-winning novelist, out of pocket.

Established in 2022, the Plaza Prizes last year offered 10 awards that were judged by the “finest poets and writers in the world”.

Museum says The Music is Black is part of a push to reposition scene as central to UK’s cultural history

Jacqueline Springer is standing in the middle of the V&A’s new exhibition space looking wistfully at a pair of drainpipe trousers, a tailored suit jacket and a porkpie hat, which create the unmistakable silhouette of Pauline Black, lead singer of the 2 Tone group the Selector.

Springer is the curator of the V&A East’s inaugural exhibition, The Music is Black, a landmark survey of Black British music, which opens this weekend. It starts with the early drumbeats in Africa and takes us right up to the latest innovations in pop and drill via jungle, grime, garage and two-tone.

Homelessness charity distances itself after Osbourne says she plans to attend far-right ‘unite the kingdom’ march

The homelessness charity Centrepoint has said it will cut ties with its celebrity ambassador Sharon Osbourne after she expressed support for a far-right rally being organised by Tommy Robinson.

The charity, of which the Prince of Wales is patron, has been moved to distance itself from comments made by Osbourne. The TV personality indicated this week that she would be attending an event organised in London by Robinson, whose real name is Stephen Yaxley-Lennon.

Reports of alleged crime led to protests in the Surrey town this week, after claims woman in her 20s attacked

Police investigating a rape incident in Epsom have said they have “not found any evidence” of the offence as reported. The reports prompted protests in the Surrey town this week.

Sarah Grahame, assistant chief constable at Surrey police, said the force was continuing to investigate a report that a woman in her 20s had been raped by a group of men on 11 April in Epsom after she left the Labyrinth Epsom nightclub. The alleged attack is said to have happened between 2am and 4am outside a Methodist church.

Disgraced financier’s links to politicians and civil servants as far back as 30 years ago to be examined

The Epstein files have shaken Norway’s faith in democracy, the head of the Norwegian parliament’s oversight committee has said, as a sprawling investigation into the connections between its foreign office and the late sex offender gets under way.

An independent commission to look into information brought to light by the Jeffrey Epstein documents released by the US Department of Justice was launched on Wednesday after the Norwegian parliament voted unanimously last month for it to be set up.

Victoria Bonya says authorities too scared to raise issues with Vladimir Putin, whose approval ratings are declining

The Kremlin is grappling with the fallout from the viral spread of a celebrity blogger’s criticism of Russian authorities, as Vladimir Putin’s approval ratings register their sixth consecutive weekly decline.

Victoria Bonya, a household name in Russia who rose to fame in 2006 on Dom-2, the country’s answer to the reality TV show Big Brother, posted a video on Monday warning the Russian president that a string of mounting problems risked spiralling out of control.

Exiled leader to revive push for change amid US backing of Delcy Rodríguez and delays to democratic transition

Venezuela’s opposition leader, María Corina Machado, will seek to revive her push for political change with a rally in Madrid on Saturday, having found herself sidelined by Donald Trump after the abduction of the president Nicolás Maduro.

“Venezuela will be free,” the Nobel peace prize winner insisted in an interview on the eve of this weekend’s demonstration in the Puerta del Sol square, which is expected to draw tens of thousands of protesters.

Voters broadly split along generational lines as pro-Russian former president leads in polls

Anna Bodakova’s days tend to be rather hectic at the moment. Hopping between meeting voters on the street, political debates and recording videos for social media, the 23-year-old is standing to become an MP in Bulgaria’s general election.

Last year she was among the many young Bulgarians who participated in countrywide mass protests over the government’s economic policies and perceived failure to tackle corruption. Those protests ultimately resulted in the resignation of the prime minister, Rosen Zhelyazkov, and his cabinet in December.

Passengers face risk of cancellations due to fuel shortages – and long airport queues due to EU entry-exit system

• What are your rights if your holiday flight is cancelled?

Holidaymakers have faced numerous stresses in recent years when planning and budgeting for the sacred summer holiday. Holiday flights to Europe have kept growing despite a pandemic, a cost of living crisis and long airport queues, but summer 2026 threatens to bring fresh anxieties.

Legacies of Brexit mean longer border checks for Britons and most non-EU nationals to get into much of Europe, and the US-Israel war on Iran has prompted fears that airlines may not have enough fuel for every scheduled flight.

The restaurant is to cut more than a fifth of its outlets amid an onslaught from supermarkets and rival chains

When Franco Manca first opened in south London’s Brixton Market in 2008, its competitively priced sourdough pizzas served in a sophisticated setting quickly drew a buzz.

“It was all the rage,” says food blogger Gerry del Guercio of BiteTwice, who visited in the early days and recalls the novelty of seeing queues forming for pizza in London. “It was just desperately cool, and everyone wanted to try.”

Changing climate, new techniques and a homegrown study programme have all helped drive a UK viticulture boom

Rows of vines stretch across the rolling hills of rural Dorset. Currently waist height, they appear bare against a bleak spring sky. Up close, you can see they are already dotted with tiny woolly buds as they exit their winter dormancy for a new growth cycle.

Come summer these rows will be laden with chardonnay, pinot noir and pinot meunier grapes, ready to make the latest batch of English sparkling wine from the Langham estate near Dorchester.

Gina Rinehart, who’s been called Australia’s ‘female Donald Trump’, has long fought claims from the family of her father’s business partner – as well as her own children

• Full Story podcast: How Gina Rinehart lost hundreds of millions of dollars in court

Australia’s richest person is reeling after a landmark court decision found her company must pay royalties worth hundreds of millions of dollars to a rival mining dynasty.

Gina Rinehart, a multibillionaire with political connections in both the White House and the Australian parliament, has been described by members of the US conservative movement as “a female Donald Trump”. The 72-year-old, who inherited her father’s iron ore empire in Australia’s Pilbara region, has fought multiple claims against the family company Hancock Prospecting that were first launched in 2010.

It seems that even the Traitors host can’t save the ailing chatshow format. As her series ends, it’s hard not to feel that she never quite got out of Graham Norton’s shadow

Six weeks ago, before Claudia Winkleman launched her BBC One Friday night chatshow, media profiles regularly referenced her “Midas touch” with TV formats. She had left one golden programme, sashaying away from Strictly Come Dancing, but her portfolio still included three other winners: the mega hit The Traitors, its celebrity spin-off for the BBC, and Channel 4’s The Piano.

Half a dozen sofa chats later, Winkleman hasn’t exactly suffered the fate of the mythic King Midas, but The Claudia Winkleman Show can fairly be seen as her least glittering work for several years.

Gadd and Jamie Bell are so frank they’re almost feral in a show so violent you’ll think you can taste blood in your mouth. This man can hit a nerve like no other

Part of the thrill of Baby Reindeer was the feeling of watching the birth of a monster. Comedians starring in their first scripted drama tend to base their characters gently on themselves, prodding at their own foibles without doing proper damage – but Richard Gadd set fire to that safety net by dramatising his own experience of being stalked, along with other, even darker moments of victimhood, with an honesty that was transgressive.

On screen and in his old real life, the helpless Gadd’s unhinged admirer Martha (Jessica Gunning) pursued him unstoppably, like the fiend in a horror movie; once Baby Reindeer’s word-of-mouth popularity exploded and Gadd won major awards for playing himself at his most vulnerable, though, his success made him one of the most powerful creators in television. That queasy disconnect was fascinating. The prospect of watching a new Richard Gadd show is exciting, of course. It’s also a bit frightening.

Transplanted from YouTube, this nostalgic, low-budget revival offers some welcome musical performances – but the chat is superficial

The biggest chatshow news of 2026 so far has been Claudia Winkleman’s foray into celebrity chin-wagging, not least because there was something slightly hubristic about the beloved Traitors host taking on the genre. Not because of any shortcomings on Winkleman’s part, but because chatshows seem almost impossible to get right (especially for female hosts; the UK TV landscape is littered with single-series attempts by Nigella, Davina and Lily Allen).

As the country was watching Winkleman, however, another veteran broadcaster was debuting their own new(ish) chatshow to far less fanfare – and far less pressure. In February, Chris Evans began putting out episodes of TFI: Unplugged on YouTube. Produced by Virgin Radio – where Evans has hosted the breakfast show for the past seven years – this was a lo-fi endeavour that saw the presenter joined by a handful of guests in a poky studio lined by dressed-down staff members professionally obliged to laugh and whoop. Still, the guests were good (Danny Dyer, Chris Hemsworth, Bono, Noah Wyle) and the show quickly built a decent audience – so much so that Channel 4 considered it worth its while to acquire a run of six episodes that have just begun airing at 11pm on Fridays. Will this revival of the 1990s juggernaut turn out to be the real chatshow story of the year?

In this week’s newsletter: A year after its US debut, the buzzy hospital thriller finally lands in ​the UK and traces the long, messy evolution of a genre that reflect​s the state of our healthcare systems

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After a wait more interminable than most spells in an A&E reception area, medical-drama-of-the-moment The Pitt finally made it on to UK screens last month, via the arrival of streaming service HBO Max, and just about everyone I know has spent the following weeks hoovering it up. Some, in fact, are already up to speed with its second season (the finale aired last night on US TV) and so are trying very, very hard not to blurt out major plot points at the office tea point/on public transport/in an actual hospital waiting room – we’re in a post-spoiler age, remember.

I’ve been a little bit slower off the mark – mainly because it took so long to figure out if I actually had access to HBO Max as part of my bafflingly arcane Sky TV package – but I’m racing through it now, and so am ready to share the same observations that everyone else made weeks, or in the case of the US, a full year ago. The main one being: how did not one TV producer have the idea to mash together ER and 24 before? It was right there, staring you all in the face! (Jed Mercurio, whose forgotten 2015 medical drama, Critical, also had a real-time element, might have a finger raised in objection at this point.)

In life, the singer’s image was shaken by abuse allegations. In death, he is a billion-dollar business

In December 1993, Michael Jackson’s genitals were photographed by the Santa Barbara county sheriff’s department and the Los Angeles police department (LAPD). The pop music titan had been accused of sexually abusing Jordan Chandler, a 13-year-old boy who had accompanied Jackson on his Dangerous world tour and regularly shared a bed with the singer. Chandler had made a drawing of distinctive markings and blotches on Jackson’s crotch which matched the photos, law enforcement said. “Not just the genitalia,” said deputy district attorney, Lauren Weis, in comments echoed by LAPD colleagues. “But a particular mark on the underside of his penis which the victim described.”

The incident is a well-known part of Jackson lore; in a live satellite feed broadcast shortly after, the singer branded the strip-search “the most humiliating ordeal of my life”. The following month, Jackson paid a reported $25m to settle the case out of court. Jackson and his estate have always maintained his innocence in Chandler’s claims and nearly a dozen other allegations of child molestation. “All these lies and all these people coming forward to get paid … ,” he told Diane Sawyer in a 1995 interview. “Just lies. Lies, lies, lies.”

The storied actor has spent years campaigning to protect green spaces. She invites us into her Surrey sanctuary, where each tree represents a lost loved one

A visit to Dame Judi Dench’s garden in Surrey is bittersweet. The 2.4-hectare (six-acre) plot contains enough trees – about 100 – to count as an arboretum. Among them is a carpet of wild garlic and a wildlife pond from which rabbits like to sip. But each of these trees represents someone she knew who has died. As her eyesight has nearly gone, Dench, who features in the latest episode of the Royal Horticulture Society’s new podcast, Roots, navigates her way around the garden via memories and smell. Here, she shares her stories of the garden and discusses the items that mean the most to her.

From lurid pranks and late-night drives, to why playing in the Revolution was like joining the marines – Prince’s friends and collaborators recount their memories of one of the music world’s most majestic and mercurial performers

George Clinton, singer and leader of Parliament-Funkadelic

(Geffen)
On this giddy first taste of the US pop star’s third album, she sets aside her rock bona fides to revel in the opulent flush of a crush-come-true. But why does it seem so doomed?

Is there anything better than an ink-fresh pop lyric so nailed-on that you can’t believe 60 years of songwriters didn’t get there first? Or like, at least 20, ever since Googling crushes became an entirely normal component of modern romance: “One night I was bored in bed / And stalked you on the internet,” Olivia Rodrigo sings on her comeback single, a casual admission with its own innate melody destined in turn to stalk listeners’ brains all summer. Her perfect couplet heralds an ecstatic chorus about the giddy terror of getting exactly what you wanted, exactly how you wanted it, and barely being able to breathe or stifle puking: “The most alive I’ve ever been / But kiss me and I might drop dead!”

Acute, obsessive, unsparing songs about romance, always with a self-aware handle on their intensity – or a wink at how lovestruck girls get labelled “crazy” – have become Rodrigo’s trademark. (She calls her benign form of online stalking “feminine intuition”.) Now 23, she broke out as a pop star in 2021, after a lifetime as a Disney Channel fixture, and pulled off one of the quickest, most effective and indelible acts of redefinition of any musician to emerge from that entertainment monolith. (Even her pop peer and fellow Disney alum Sabrina Carpenter took five albums to find success on her terms.) Rodrigo’s debut single proper, Drivers License, was an epic heartbreak ballad, though the sticking points of her debut album, Sour, were the pop-punk ragers. She convincingly translated that into her second album, 2023’s Guts, which drew on the influence of her mum’s riot grrrl records; she scored mentorship from St Vincent, brought the Breeders to support her on tour and got the Cure’s Robert Smith to duet with her when she headlined Glastonbury in 2025.

(Pentatone)
This thoughtfully curated programme of work by three British composers explores the guitar’s expressive potential, and new arrangements of Harrison Birtwistle’s piano originals are a revelation

On his new album, Sean Shibe surveys the guitar’s expressive potential through the lens of three British composers. There are interlocking themes here – Spain, 20th-century painters, antique musical forms – but this thoughtfully curated programme can be equally enjoyed piece by piece as a series of mind-expanding flights of fancy.

Thomas Adès’s Forgotten Dances pays homage to the baroque dance suite, the composer’s quirky titles imbuing traditional forms with an additional imaginative layer. Overture, Queen of the Spiders, for example, combines stately harmonics with sneaking slides and the occasional pounce (“fatal for the fly!” in the composer’s words). Barcarolle – The Maiden Voyage is a nostalgic lapping gymnopedie; Carillon de Ville a pealing tribute to the guitar-playing Hector Berlioz. In Vesper (for Henry Purcell), Adès reimagines the consolation of the older composer’s Evening Hymn. Shibe’s playing throughout is acutely articulate and technically impeccable.

The Keeper by Tana French; The Kindness of Strangers by Emma Garman; Mrs Shim Is a Killer by Kang Jiyoung; A Killer in the Family by Amin Ahmad; The Drowning Place by Sarah Hilary

The Keeper by Tana French (Viking, £16.99)
The final book in French’s Cal Hooper trilogy sees the retired Chicago detective drawn into a power struggle for the future of the small Irish town he has made his home. Ardnakelty is a place where everyone is interconnected, with grudges and loyalties lasting for generations, and Hooper, now engaged to local widow Lena and mentor to 16-year-old Trey, is becoming a part of its fabric. When the body of Rachel Holohan, girlfriend of the son of local bigshot Tommy Moynihan, is recovered from the river, the consensus is suicide, but Trey convinces Hooper to investigate. Tommy doesn’t like people interfering in his business, especially when it emerges that Rachel was concerned about his plans for the town. An immersive, slow-burn of a book, as much about the march of time and the inevitably changing nature of Irish rural life as it is about solving a crime, The Keeper is dense, compelling and superbly atmospheric.

The Kindness of Strangers by Emma Garman (Virago, £20)
Set in a Chelsea boarding house in 1953, Garman’s debut novel opens with Jimmy Sullivan – who “wore spiv’s shoes and spoke in unmistakable Cockney tones” – bleeding to death under the dispassionate gaze of the landlady and her lodgers. The big Victorian house, presided over by bohemian literary widow Honor Wilson, is home to a debutante fallen on hard times, a wannabe writer, a young cinema usher with social aspirations, and a Jewish poet who managed to escape Hitler but lost his wife and child in the process. All have secrets, but none more than Honor herself, and the arrival of Jimmy, who claims to be the son of an old family retainer, threatens them all. This is not only an excellent mystery, but an evocative portrayal of a group of people displaced socially and geographically by war and its aftermath, with the moral and topographical landscape of 1950s London superbly rendered.

A clever and beautiful survey of dogs in painting, with a brilliant interpretation of their role at its heart

Thirty-five thousand years ago, in the Ardèche region of France, Paleolithic artists drew a spectacular bestiary on the walls of the Chauvet cave. Their focus was apex predators, so there were lots of lions, as well as mammoths and woolly rhinoceroses. Dogs were nowhere to be seen, and yet in the soft sediment on the limestone floor of the cave, there are traces of canid pawprints next to human footprints. Two fellow creatures, most likely a boy and a dog, stood together, about 10,000 years after the art was made, looking up at the walls in wonder. Here was a moment of shared contemplation, followed perhaps by a glance to see the other’s reaction.

In this luminous book, the American cultural historian Thomas Laqueur explores what he calls “the dog’s gaze”. The dog was the first animal to live companionably with humans, and Laqueur argues that this marks the boundary between nature and culture. It is this threshold status that has, in turn, qualified the dog to play a rich, symbolic part in western art. Just having dogs in a picture – snuffling for picnic crumbs in Seurat’s La Grande Jatte or trooping home in Bruegel the Elder’s Hunters in the Snow – becomes a way for an artist to pack an image with extra resonance and second-order meaning.

The premise – Instagram influencer is confronted by pioneer reality – is genius. But does this high-concept debut live up to the hype?

Could Caro Claire Burke’s Yesteryear be the first great tradwife novel? This was my hope: finally, a literary response to the unhinged social trend of women cosplaying “traditional Christian values” – pronatalism and obeying one’s husband – to large social media followings. I am not immune to hype, and Yesteryear has been hyped to high heaven, prompting massive auctions for the rights, and landing a film deal with Anne Hathaway.

You have to admit that the premise – Instagram tradwife wakes up in what appear to be the actual pioneer days, and finds that traditional wifedom is not as much of a hoot as her whitewashed social media re-enactment had implied – is genius. As one of the “Angry Women” our heroine Natalie so disparages, I was looking forward to some sweet schadenfreude.

The horrifying story of the Catholic-run institutions that incarcerated thousands of women and girls

Many readers, and surely most Irish readers, will finish this book in a state of white-knuckled rage, mingled with sorrow and at least a pang of guilt. It is a detailed, thoroughgoing and appalling account of the Magdalene laundries, the most famous, and most infamous, among Ireland’s extended and varied landscape of penal or correctional institutions, which operated for most of the 20th century (the last of the laundries was closed in 1996).

As the academic Louise Brangan points out in The Fallen, it is easy to become confused by the number and variety of prisons, mental asylums, orphanages, workhouses and homes for unmarried mothers that proliferated in Ireland between the foundation of the Irish Free State in 1922 and the late 1990s. However, the Magdalene laundries were unique. Dr Brangan writes: “In a regime distinguished by its excessive inhumanity, the Magdalene laundries were its deep end. In 1951, when the laundries were at their height, for every 100,000 males, 27 were in prison … [while] for every 100,000 females, 70 were in a laundry. These were not peripheral: they were Ireland’s main carceral institution.”

I initially dismissed the Wind Waker’s cartoonish visuals as juvenile. But now I try to carry the game’s sense of joy into all aspects of my life

I had a complicated relationship with video games when I was a teenager. I had straightforwardly, wholeheartedly loved the Nintendo games that I’d grown up with, tumbling around primary-coloured dreamscapes in Super Mario 64 and having the time of my life. But as I grew into a pretentious young adult in the early 00s, I started to want more from games, and I wasn’t finding it. So many of them were mindless, or juvenile, or needlessly violent. So few seemed to have anything to say. I started to wonder whether games might really be a waste of time, like the judgy adults in my life kept telling me.

My response to this was to relentlessly intellectualise the games I played, in order to justify the time and attention I was expending on them. I mainlined highbrow gaming magazines and wrote grandiose blogs about serious adult themes in Deus Ex and Metal Gear Solid and the ancient Fallout computer games. My childhood love of Nintendo, with its bright hues and unselfconscious approach to play, felt embarrassing. Then I switched on The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, and had a realisation about the nature and importance of play that would shape my life.

Role-playing adventure and superhero comedy among big winners on a varied night in London

With 12 nominations, acclaimed role-playing adventure Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 was expected to be the runaway success at the 2026 Bafta games awards, held in London on Friday evening.

And while it couldn’t quite match its nine wins at the Game Awards back in December, it was still the joint biggest winner on the night, taking best game and debut game as well as the performer in a leading role award for Jennifer English.

PC, Xbox; Sad Cat Studios
This pulpy sci-fi thriller is a beautiful, if deferential, homage to the genre greats, with a poignant real-world echo

For all of cyberpunk’s cautionary tales of shady corporations and transhumanist folly, it is the genre’s arresting imagery that looms largest in the pop culture imagination. Petroleum flares light up the perpetually rainy Los Angeles of Blade Runner; in the novel Neuromancer, the sky is the “colour of television, tuned to a dead channel”.

Replaced, a new 2D action-platformer from Belarus-based outfit Sad Cat Studios, leans into the steel and sprawl that the genre is famed for. The game also offers a wrinkle to cyberpunk’s longstanding, somewhat overfamiliar visual palette: it floods the screen with softly diffusing sepia and warm primary colours, particularly in the densely populated residential areas you’re able to explore. The mood is comforting rather than ominous, cosy rather than clinical, as if this dystopian sci-fi has been touched by an unlikely hand – that of cottagecore godfather Thomas Kinkade.

Replaced is out now; £16.99/$19.99

PlayStation 5 (version tested), Xbox, PC, Switch 2; Capcom
Engineer Hugh is sent from Earth to investigate a malfunctioning research station and meets a young android who helps him fend off murderous mechs

When Pragmata was announced alongside the PlayStation 5 in 2020, its shiny trailer promised slick sci-fi action in outer space. While it certainly delivers those futuristic thrills in spades, what I didn’t expect was a tender tale of paternal love. This is Capcom’s belated, surprisingly soulful first entry into gaming’s sad dad genre.

In this near-future fiction, a corporation named Delphi has established a research station on the moon’s surface to experiment with advanced 3D printing tech, using “Lunafilament” to easily recreate everything from tools to entire buildings. Predictably, things soon go very wrong. As the station suddenly goes dark, engineer Hugh is sent from Earth to investigate.

Pragmata is out April 17; £49.99

Bush theatre, London
Secrets are exposed during a pub singalong as Franky returns home to find her parents divided in Kit Withington’s drama

You can hear this play before you enter the auditorium. Inside, a karaoke session is in full force with audience members blasting out Friday night pub bangers on stage. The singing resumes when Kit Withington’s family drama begins, with karaoke as the glue that binds together characters at emotional odds with each other.

Several of them are at odds with themselves too, including Franky (Rowan Robinson), who drops into her parental home in a north-west town in the opening scene. Her life is in London now, with a boyfriend and job that prove she is moving on. This town hasn’t done the same and neither have her parents since a tragedy more than two decades ago. Her father, Dez (Deka Walmsley), is behaving oddly, still seemingly overwhelmed by grief and guilt, while her mother, Linda (Sophie Stanton), is seeking happiness elsewhere.

Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff
Jack Furness’s unconventional staging for Welsh National Opera sees the orchestra play up a storm under Tomáš Hanus in Wagner’s legend of the man condemned to sail the oceans for eternity

In 1839 the 26-year-old Richard Wagner almost drowned during a perilous voyage across the Baltic from Riga. It was this experience that he claimed inspired The Flying Dutchman, the legend of the man condemned for eternity to sail the oceans in his ghost ship gave him the narrative for his first mature opera. Wagner thought of his libretto as a poem, and it certainly grapples with some of the epic questions: birth, life, love and death.

Welsh National Opera’s new staging, directed by Jack Furness, begins with a woman in childbirth, the wild and stormy surges of the overture coinciding with her contractions. So Senta is born, destined, as a small child, to see her mother die, whisked away on her hospital bed into the great abyss. Senta will be a damaged soul, obsessed to the point of derangement by the story of the Dutchman, whose single hope of redemption, the love of a true woman, becomes possible only on touching land once every seven years. Backstories seem to have become a necessary accompaniment to any opera’s overture, which anyway spells out the whole trajectory in its leitmotifs. The strength of this intervention is visual, in the widely sweeping circles run first by Senta the young girl, then as a young woman, a parallel to the Dutchman’s septennial cycles, their dresses symbolic of the blood-red sails of his ship, all metaphors which later return.

Chisenhale Gallery, London
The Irish artist scrambles your brain by cleverly combining calming pastel pinks with austere military health units and suffocating smells

The Chisenhale Gallery smells weirdly sweet. Somewhere between butter and Parma Violets, but more acrid, intensely chemical. It’s an olfactory assault, half soothing and familiar, half violent and unnatural.

That’s the strange, unsettling middle ground that young London-based artist Racheal Crowther likes to inhabit. Just look at what she has done here in her first institutional exhibition, in which baby pink gentleness and terrifying hard-edged military aesthetics collide.

Shaftesbury theatre, London
Twenty years since its West End debut, the sweetly subversive musical returns with a few tweaks and a lot of heart

The trigger warning “puppet nudity” does not begin to cover it. You will also see puppets having sex, singing about being “a little bit racist” and gleefully owning up to their predilections for porn.

Avenue Q’s cute subversiveness is back, 20 years after these fuzzy-felt Sesame Street wannabes took the West End by storm. Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx’s Tony award-winning musical is not exactly shocking now but it’s very amusing as these creatures (plus some humans) fall in love, have existential crises and create merry havoc.

The Canadian author on good writing advice from Martin Amis, his love for digging and getting rid of billionaires

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Your novels Life of Pi, Beatrice and Virgil, and The High Mountains of Portugal all feature animals in starring roles. If you could be any animal, which would it be, and why?

A sloth, because it has a peaceful, long life. Or maybe a koala. They both look like stoners. A sloth just hangs there in its tree, it sleeps 22 hours a day – or maybe it’s meditating. Most creatures take the strategies of overt camouflage or speed to stay alive, whereas the sloth’s like, “I’ll be so slow that no one will notice me.” It grows a kind of algae on its fur, which makes it hard to see in the South American jungles. So it’s kind of hiding and being at one with the universe.

Ten years after his debut novel, the poet and musician has written a follow-up exploring self-discovery and a life lived on the edge. He talks about sexuality, pronouns and drawing strength from the literature he loves

Kae Tempest sidles into a pub near his house on a weekday afternoon and orders a pint of mineral water. At his side is Murphy, an enormous, 14-year-old alaskan malamute dog with startling blue eyes who settles down on the floor next to his master and goes to sleep. “He’s all right,” Tempest says. “He’s very friendly. He won’t even put his nose up.” The rapper, performance poet, playwright and novelist has a ginger beard and is wearing Timberland boots, baggy jeans and a black hoodie over a blue-and-white striped collared shirt. His hair is hidden by a cap. Years ago, his dramatic russet hair was long, but he cropped it when he dropped the “T” from his first name and came out as nonbinary, a watershed moment in his gender transition. Now testosterone has deepened his voice and his journey has reached its final stage – from they/them to he/him.

As Tempest has been famous since his late 20s, showered with accolades ranging from Mercury nominations for two of his albums (including his debut, Let Them Eat Chaos) to becoming the youngest poet ever to receive the Ted Hughes award for the epic performance poem Brand New Ancients, this odyssey has taken place in public. On his song I Stand on the Line, from his last album Self Titled, Tempest vividly describes the anxiety of having to deal with the hostility of some people’s reactions to his “second puberty” (“Out in the limelight like, please, nobody look at me / I’m looking for myself, all I’m seeing is the bitterness / Coming my way when I’m using the facilities”). So is it a heavy burden to be such a visible trans person? “It’s just my life,” Tempest replies, his voice a soft south London growl, much quieter than the thrilling, declamatory style of his performances. “I’m just glad to be alive. How beautiful,” he adds. “Because you felt like you might not be at some point.”

Eight-line poem found on the back of a manuscript sheds light on Spanish poet’s preoccupation with time

A previously unknown verse attributed to Federico García Lorca has been discovered 93 years after the celebrated Spanish poet and playwright is believed to have jotted it on the back of one of his manuscripts.

Lorca is thought to have written the eight-line poem in 1933 while working on the collection Diván del Tamarit, a homage to the Arab poets of his native Granada.

The Australian photographer climbed inside a hollowed-out rock overlooking the ocean to get this striking, disorienting image

Around 10,000 years ago, Kangaroo Island separated from mainland Australia. As a result, species evolved independently – and now the island is home to wildlife found nowhere else, including a soot-coloured dunnart, as well as, of course, kangaroos. The human population here is so low that there are 14 kangaroos for every one person.

On the far southern edge of the island sit Remarkable Rocks: granite forms carved over time by wind, rain and salt. Jon McCormack took this photograph inside one of the boulders overlooking the Southern Ocean, facing towards Antarctica.

It starts with a ‘back in my day’ nostalgic meme – then suddenly your elders are sharing AI-generated ‘boomerslop’ and repeating conspiracy theories …

Graham doesn’t remember his mother ever sharing her political views. He’s not certain she even voted until she met his father, who was a big Labour supporter. She went along with that, only once voting Tory as an act of spite towards the end of their relationship. She later married a farmer who was more conservative, and leaned towards leave in the Brexit referendum. “But, honestly, beyond that, she would never even speak of politics. She just wasn’t interested.”

Graham, who works in the transport industry in the Midlands, noticed a big change in his mother during the Covid pandemic. “I remember walking home from work one day and I got this phone call and all of a sudden she was listing off these conspiracy theories at me.” He now realises how much time she was spending online, on her phone and iPad, cut off from friends, family and the church life that had always been so important to her.

The comedian and broadcaster on moaning about his eyebags, being stabbed by muggers, and his publicity-shy pet

Born in County Dublin, Graham Norton, 63, studied at the Royal Central School of Speech and Drama in London. In the 1990s, he was a standup and appeared in the sitcom Father Ted. Since 2007, he has presented The Graham Norton Show for the BBC. He hosts Eurovision, is a judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK, and is presenting new reality show The Neighbourhood, which starts on 24 April on ITV. He has won nine Baftas and written three memoirs and five novels. He is married and lives in London and West Cork.

When were you happiest?
Our wedding weekend in Ireland.

Herbs, spices and love may be the secret to great falafel, but which supermarket versions hit chickpea perfection and which are over-processed duds?

• The best tinned and jarred chickpeas

It was surprisingly hard to find good, traditional falafels in the supermarkets for this test. While most of those on offer were delicious, many had long, complex ingredients lists, other than two standouts made with just chickpeas, herbs, spices and sodium bicarbonate.

Even some of the better falafels had unnecessarily long ingredients lists, despite being relatively minimally processed, but at their worst, some of these falafels were much more processed and included dehydrated potato flakes, pea protein, refined soya bean oil and stabilisers. The best, however, were delicious and contained lots of herbs, spices and even love.

Rum is having a Renaissance. Whether you want spiced, fruity or flavoured, here are the best bottles from our taste test of 30 small-scale and indie labels

• The best gins for G&Ts, martinis and negronis

Shaking off its whitewashed island vibes and kitschy pirate associations, rum – like gin and tequila before it – is having a revival. With UK rum sales reaching £1.1bn at the end of 2023, and the category expected to rise by 3% annually by 2027, rum is among the few spirits bucking the global downward trend. It’s also experiencing the same appetite for “premiumisation” as the rest of the spirits industry: less of the poor-quality punch spirit and more high-quality artisanal or luxury-branded rum.

What is rum? Basically, it’s a spirit made from sugar cane, either in the form of cane molasses or fresh sugar cane juice, which is then fermented and distilled. The liquid can then be aged in oak barrels, matured in ex-liquor casks – such as sherry or bourbon – or infused with flavourings (the best rums use natural botanicals rather than synthetic extracts). White rum is made by taking the virgin distillate and bottling without ageing, while golden or aged rums will take on colour and flavour from time in barrels or casks; dark rums may also have extra molasses added at a later stage. Spiced or otherwise flavoured rums are usually white rums that have been flavoured after distillation.

Our gardening expert puts 19 bypass secateurs to the test to find the best for comfort, sharpness and tackling tough stems

• The best pressure washers, tested

Secateurs are the single most valued tool in the gardener’s trug, an implement as personally prized as the bricklayer’s trowel. With time, their weight and shape wear familiarly into the hand, becoming a companionable tool for all garden tasks, from pruning woody shrubs and cutting back perennials to slicing twine and preparing cut flowers.

There are two main types of secateurs, bypass and anvil (see below for their differences explained), and I’ve focused on the former here. If well looked after (we’ve included care instructions at the end of this article), a quality pair can last decades; as a result, gardeners declare staunch loyalties to particular models.

Best secateurs overall:
Burgon & Ball bypass secateurs

Best secateurs for tough stems:
Felco Model 2

Transporting little ones by bike is fun, practical and good for the planet – here’s how to get started

• The best bike panniers and handlebar bags

In the least weird way possible, strapping children to bicycles is a longstanding tradition in my family. My grandparents used to haul their three kids around in a rickety wooden trailer hitched to the back of their tandem (see picture below), and some of my earliest memories involve being wedged into a bright red child seat with a gargantuan foam mushroom of a helmet obstructing my upper peripheral vision. Now that my son is old enough, it’s our turn to pick up the baton.

Turns out, there are a lot of ways to strap a kid to a bike, and I’ve spent the past six months researching all the options to figure out what’s best. I’ve also spent lots of time using trailers and rear-mounted seats, as they were most appropriate for my son’s age and my bike setup.

An intriguing, punchy fusion of Taiwanese and Italian noodle dishes

Last year, the comedian Nish Kumar accused me of being in the pocket of “big cabbage”, because I was waxing lyrical about it. But look here, Nish, everyone is cabbage obsessed. It’s not just the Guardian; the internet is awash with “best cabbage” recipes and there’s a lot to love: it’s cheap, generous and genuinely delicious cooked and wilted down with onions (or shallots), as in this spaghetti. The inspiration behind the dish was a jar of Taiwanese Bullshead shallot sauce, a sweet, smoky and savoury sauce that I love to dollop into and on to all things eggs, noodles, vegetables and rice, but that I ran out of recently, prompting me to make a simple, store-cupboard alternative.

Though welcomed by chefs and campaigners, many schools say the government’s plan to remove ‘grab and go’ options from the menu is a step too far

It is lunchtime at Richard Challoner school, a Catholic comprehensive for boys in New Malden, south-west London. The familiar smell of school lunch is beginning to waft around the corridors.

In the canteen, there is a moment of calm as the kitchen team make final preparations before year 7 descend – a mass of chatting, laughing boys, with backpacks swinging and empty tummies grumbling.

A knickerbocker-style punch with notes of berry compote and scones

Named after a community-focused cafe in Dublin, this drink has a flavour profile that brings to mind berry compote and scones. It’s delicious as a single serving, or make a big batch and serve as a punch to share with friends. At Homeboy, we garnish it with a little raspberry dust, but at home a little lime flag perched on the side of the glass also works well.

Lizzie Wharton, head bartender, Homeboy, London N1

Tomas Telegramma had a platonic chemistry with his colleague Steph Vigilante. But one night as the heaven’s opened, so did his emotional floodgates

• Find more stories from the moment I knew series

In 2019, I started a job as a junior editor for an online city guide in Melbourne. I was struck by the social media coordinator, Steph, who worked quietly and diligently in a corner of the office, but had a surname that was at odds with her vibe. She was Vigilante by name, but not by nature.

Our shared Italian heritage was an instant bonding agent. We had chemistry, sure, but it was purely platonic. Even when lockdown put a pin in all things in real life, work’s instant messaging app helped our friendship survive working from home. I’d write stories about the city; Steph would cleverly bring them to life on social media. The synergy was real.

Rebecca (left), 26, a stage manager, meets Sophie, 28, a standup comedian

What were you hoping for?
Great conversation, since I’ve had way too many dates where I’ve borne the weight of the chat.

People down the rabbit hole don’t always realise their experience isn’t universal, advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith writes. You might have more luck trying a new tactic

• Read more Leading questions

My friend of 30 years keeps sending me social media posts and videos that I either don’t find funny or are disturbing. We live far away and rarely see each other, so we communicate through a messaging app. I’ve told her many times that I prefer positive or cute things, and I don’t follow American politics.

Her life is difficult and I understand why she spends so much time on social media. Last week she sent me multiple videos each day that were not of interest to me at all, including one with women slapping each other. She often buys into conspiracy theories until I disprove them. All of it upsets me. It’s like she doesn’t know who I am. I’m not replying to any of these messages but she keeps sending them.

Dougie and Teresa don’t see eye to eye when it comes to supermarket packing. You decide whose argument checks out

• Find out how to get a disagreement settled or become a juror

She says if you’re bagging stuff at the checkout, you’re holding up the people behind you

He just doesn’t understand the system. The packing shelves at the back are there to help customers

Buying a house or having a baby has turned into a financial nightmare for those who are their own boss

Harriett Thompson started her maternity leave at the beginning of 2025, but at the start of this month she still had not received any of the statutory pay she was entitled to.

The freelance makeup artist described what she says is a familiar experience for a lot of self-employed mothers. “Luckily [my partner] Alex started a long contract when our daughter was born, which has enabled us to get by … That’s coming to an end now, with no future work in sight, so I’m getting anxious about receiving the money,” she told us.

Iran war and EU’s new entry-exit system could lead to travel misery this summer, but there are ways to mitigate it

• Can Europe avoid a summer of travel chaos?

The war in the Middle East has prompted fears that potential shortages of jet fuel could result in flight cancellations this summer and warnings that holidays could be severely disrupted.

Airports have said jet fuel could run short within three weeks as a result of supply problems after the strait of Hormuz was effectively closed when war broke out at the end of February.

With prices at the vets soaring by more than 60% since 2016, tests such as MRI scans for dogs can exceed £3,500

Why does my vet charge more than a private hospital for humans? I’ve been quoted £1,500 for an MRI scan for my dog. When I looked at how much it would cost for a person to have the same type of scan privately, it was about £700.

As technology improves, the treatments and diagnostics available for pets are getting closer to what is on offer for human patients. While we used to rely on a vet to assess what was going on inside an animal, they can now recommend hi-tech scans to see exactly what’s happening. But progress costs money.

From running through open countryside in historic beauty spots to pounding the streets of London

Bottlenecks in the system and parents’ suspicions mean doctors expect another serious outbreak soon

By 10am on a spring day, the corridor of the clinic in the Transylvanian town of Săcele was already crowded with parents and children. They were all waiting to see Dr Mirela Csabai, one of just seven general practitioners serving a population of more than 30,000.

Most of the cases that morning were routine: colds, checkups, chronic conditions. The calm, however, is recent. In 2024, a measles epidemic tore through this community and left one unvaccinated toddler dead.

Researcher Valentina Bianchi says holding in information can take a mental toll. Here’s how to manage it

• Tell us: do you use AI for fitness?

Usually nothing makes me happier than receiving a message that starts with “don’t share this, but …”. Yet as I played the voice note on my phone, my gleeful anticipation turned to dismay.

It was a juicy bit of gossip, but one I ultimately would have preferred not to know. Now I also had to conceal it from others.

I’m an adult. Why do I regress under my parents’ roof?

I like my own company. But do I spend too much time alone?

People say you’ll know – but will I regret not having children?

From next-day delivery to kids’ TV shows on demand, have we forgotten how to wait for … anything? The good news is that patience is a skill that can be cultivated – by parents and children alike. Here’s how

Your kids want to know why their new book (ordered 18 hours ago) is “taking so long” and need you “NOW” because Netflix “isn’t loading” (it “tu-dums” milliseconds later). For parents who had dial-up internet, endless TV adverts and long car journeys soundtracked by Dad’s AM Test cricket, modern kids’ inability to be patient can feel galling. Except, with our Deliveroo habit and boiling-water taps (who has time for a kettle?), we can be just as bad.

“Our environment and culture has trained our nervous systems to expect immediacy,” says Anna Mathur, psychotherapist and author of How to Stop Snapping at the People You Love (As Well As the Ones You Don’t). “The issue is our brains are plastic; they adapt to the level of easy dopamine we’ve got at our fingertips.” Our brains are changing, confirms child psychologist Dr Michele McDowell: “A recent study indicated the brain instantly responds to notifications and takes seven seconds to refocus. Consequently, the brain is becoming overstimulated and is increasingly more responsive. Over time, this erodes the brain’s capacity to tolerate waiting and to be patient. So each time your phone pings, it’s reshaping your mind’s ability to wait.”

You might think of breathing as automatic, but dysfunctional breathing can arise even if you’re healthy

We’re often taught that breathing is automatic. We barely think about it, as with blinking or the quiet, constant work of the heart. But many otherwise healthy adults have dysfunctional breathing.

“Dysfunctional breathing, also known as breathing pattern disorder, is when breathlessness and/or difficulty in breathing is felt,” said Dr Stephen Fowler, a professor of respiratory medicine at the University of Manchester. It can occur outside the context of any disease. If a related condition is present, like asthma, the breathlessness might feel disproportionate to that condition, he said.

Resurgence of 90s minimalism has caused an explosion in the popularity of denim, but can a pair ever be worth £800?

Denim mania is surging across the fashion spectrum. At one end is the luxury brand Alaia with an Aegean blue, comfortable yet flattering £800 pair. At the other is JW Anderson’s collaboration with the high street brand Uniqlo and a £34.90 price tag. Both are proving wildly popular.

Alaia’s line has only just launched, so there are no sales figures yet, but demand for its Japanese denim is such that customers are advised to reserve certain styles in store or call ahead before visiting. At Uniqlo, the straight cut are said to be the most popular, on the front row of the most recent fashion weeks, and routinely sell out online. Blame the resurgence of 90s minimalism.

Once the preserve of childhood underwear, the patterned knit is now bringing nostalgia and comfort to adults in a fast-changing, unpredictable world

In this very on-brand April, where sun and showers jostle for supremacy and a chill wind is making 16C feel like 9C, you might have spotted pointelle popping up everywhere. On her recent world tour, Rosalía appeared on stage in Paris wearing a pointelle bodysuit. Then Sabrina Carpenter appeared on the cover of Perfect magazine hanging backwards off a bed wearing cyan eyeshadow and a pointelle underwear set. It’s peeping out from underneath shirts and jumpers in air-conditioned offices and on buses. For spring, the heritage knitwear brand Herd is offering “featherlight yet warm” jumpers in its signature pointelle. John Lewis, which said yesterday that online searches for pointelle were up 60% week on week, is selling bandana-scarves and pyjamas made of the same material.

The fabric, more associated with girls’ vests, thermal-wear and underwear, is, according to Merriam-Webster, “an openwork design (as in knitted fabric) typically in the shape of chevrons”. Sometimes peppered with hearts, florals, diamonds or zigzags instead, you probably had a pair of pointelle ankle socks, possibly with a little cotton ruffle. Or maybe you remember that era in the 00s when Whistles churned out lacey pointelle camisoles that grazed bellybuttons inches above Juicy Couture track bottoms.

Got denim overwhelm? Go back to basics with a simple pair of straight leg jeans

Whether you want to tackle hyperpigmentation or brighten mature skin, these are our expert’s favourite formulas for a glowy complexion

• The best LED face masks, tested

Vitamin C is having a moment in skincare because of its ability to gently brighten, reduce pigmentation and support collagen production. It also helps to neutralise free radicals – those unstable molecules generated by UV light and pollution that can lead to premature ageing – making it an essential part of your morning skincare routine (alongside an SPF).

But is a vitamin C serum suitable for everyone? And if so, how do you know which one is right for you? “Individuals with sensitive, reactive or rosacea-prone skin should approach L-ascorbic acid – the most commonly used active form of vitamin C in skincare – carefully, as it can trigger inflammation in compromised skin barriers,” says pharmacist and skincare expert Dr Sonal Chavda-Sitaram.

Best vitamin C serum overall:
CeraVe skin renewing vitamin C serum

Best budget vitamin C serum:
Elf Skin Brighten + Glow vitamin C + E + ferulic serum

From a beachside bothy to a Highland bunkhouse and lochside inn, here are some of Scotland’s bonniest boltholes

With its cheery, cherry-red tin roof, you can’t miss the sturdy stone bothy on the Ben Damph estate. The family-owned 5,868-hectare (14,500-acre) estate nudges up to Loch Torridon, and the bothy, constructed from the ruins of an old black house (a traditional thatched home), has views over the loch to the mountains beyond. Restored by a team of stonemasons, it has two rooms (each sleeping two) warmed by log burners. The furniture has been made from the estate’s timber by a local cabinet maker. Between the two rooms is a “sitooterie” with picture windows framing views over to Ben Alligin. There’s no electricity, but there is running water and a gas-powered hot shower next to the bothy; a compost loo is in the garden.
Sleeps 4, from £342.50 for two nights, bendamph.com

The machair is nature’s dazzling display on these remote islands, but this rare habitat also plays a vital role for wildlife and the resurgent crofting community

Some 8,000 years ago, behind the retreating glaciers, a remarkable environment was born on the western fringes of Scotland’s Outer Hebridean islands, forged by the wind and waves. It began with rising sea levels and sweeping Atlantic gales depositing crushed shell-sand inland; this settled over glacial sediment to form a coastal belt of lime-rich soil. Buffered from the sea by mounting sand dunes, this winter-wet and summer-sunned substrate produced one of Europe’s rarest habitats: the “machair”, Gaelic for “fertile grassy plain”. Abounding in diverse, colourful wildflowers and an array of associated wildlife, coastal machair is a precious, globally important outpost of biodiversity, supporting everything from purple orchids and nodding blue campanulas to endangered birdlife, otters and rare bumblebees.

As a wildflower fanatic, visiting the Outer Hebrides in peak machair bloom has long been an aspiration. Over the years, I’d read accounts of its arresting, vibrant seasonality – its shifting blankets of red and white clover, yellow trefoil and creamy eyebright, bold against the sky. Although remnant machair is also found in north-west Ireland, its greatest extent lies on this Scottish archipelago, notably the islands of Barra, Uist and Harris.

From the epic landscapes of the Highlands and Islands to intimate local community events, our readers share their best finds in Scotland
• Tell us about a cool neighbourhood in a European city – the best tip wins a £200 holiday voucher

After trekking in from near Oykel Bridge, our group stayed the night at Choire Mhoir and Magoo’s bothies (conjoined Mountain Bothies Association and non-MBA bothies, both free) in the northern Highlands. Emerging from the bothies come morning, a fog hovered between the mountains leading up to the summit of Seana Bhràigh, peaking out above, and Loch a’ Choire Mhóir below. As the sun rose, the fog steadily lifted, but not before creating a magical fogbow above the loch and bothies.
Rory

The Lincolnshire village, the height of fashion a century ago, offers fascinating history, a woodland cinema, excellent cycle routes and a deeply restorative feel

It was 6.30am, the cockcrow slot at Jubilee Park lido, and still not quite light. I hadn’t wanted to come this early – it was the only time I’d been able to book. But as I slid into the pool – heated to a delicious 29C – I realised it was a gift. Vapours rose dreamily into cool air laced with owl hoots and the whiff of dewy blooms, and I swam into a sunrise that became more vivid with every stroke. A man in the next lane paused to admire the reddening dawn too; he was hungover, he said, but had come to do his morning lengths nonetheless. A cure of sorts.

Bath, Harrogate, Buxton – Woodhall? This Lincolnshire village isn’t one of Britain’s headline spa towns. Most probably don’t know where it is – 18 miles (29km east of Lincoln, for the record. But at the turn of the 20th century, Woodhall Spa was among the most fashionable places to be seen, to be healed.

At my age, I never thought I’d need another qualification. But here I am, grappling with knots and a man overboard in 35 mph winds

I’m at the helm of a 15-foot rigid inflatable boat (Rib) in terrible weather: there are storm clouds approaching from the south-west and the wind is already gusting at 35 mph. Waves are breaking over the bow, dropping a bucketful of water into my lap each time. As I bear off to port, the boat lurches in the heavy swell, and someone at the starboard bow shouts, “Man overboard!”

I should also probably mention that I’m in a reservoir, between the M3 and Heathrow airport, less than 12 miles from my house. And also: the man that’s gone overboard is a buoy with a face drawn on it in permanent marker. I’m not here to save anybody; I’m here in pursuit of a Level 2 Powerboat Handling certificate.

From early English and perpendicular to Deal or No Deal Nigeria, test your knowledge with the Saturday quiz

1 Which world-famous ancient site was the capital of the Nabataean people?
2 What is a shark’s skeleton made of?
3 On 15 February 1971, what went from 240 to 100?
4 Which England footballer presented Deal or No Deal Nigeria?
5 Ju Ae is the daughter and possible heir of which leader?
6 United Downs in Cornwall is the UK’s first of what type of power plant?
7 Which US magazine was founded in 1925 by Harold Ross and Jane Grant?
8 Who was the first British entrant to win Eurovision?
What links:
9 Dead Man Walking; Monster’s Ball; The Green Mile; True Crime?
10 Early English; decorated; perpendicular?
11 Flute-playing rapper; tears in Turin; Paranoid singer?
12 Gretna, Scotland and Marshall Meadows Bay, Northumberland (c2,700 miles)?
13 Solon; Hammurabi; Moses; Justinian; Napoleon?
14 Christie’s rostrum; Comic Relief nose; Coronation emblem; Linn turntable?
15 1949 Orwell novel (35); 1982 Prince song (17); 2014 Taylor Swift album (25)?

Five multiple-choice questions – set by children – to test your knowledge, and a chance to submit your own junior brainteasers for future quizzes

• ​Submit a question

Molly Oldfield hosts Everything Under the Sun, a podcast answering children’s questions. Do check out her books, Everything Under the Sun and Everything Under the Sun: Quiz Book, as well as her new title, Everything Under the Sun: All Around the World.

Rising sea levels and ecological damage caused by heavy use of flood defence system force city authorities to consider next move

The Arsenale, the colossal shipyard that was the engine of the Venetian Republic’s domination for seven centuries, remains the nucleus of the city’s control over the water. Its northern section is made up of cavernous brick warehouses called capannoni, which in the 16th century could produce a warship a day through a rigorously ordered assembly line.

Now, one of them houses the operations centre of the Mose, the sprawling flood defence system that protects the city.

The president has opened fissures in his base by starting a war he couldn’t finish with Iran, stoking inflation and offending Christians. Barred from running again, he may feel he has nothing to lose

Lance Johnson voted for Donald Trump three times. Now he is feeling buyer’s remorse. “I haven’t been too happy with the third time around,” said the 47-year-old contractor, sitting at a bar in Crescent Springs, Kentucky. “We’re supposed to not start any new wars. Prices were supposed to come down. We were promised a lot of things and we’re not getting them.”

Johnson is not the only Trump voter having doubts about a US president who, after defying political gravity for a decade, finally seems to be crashing back to earth. The past two weeks have arguably been the most bruising of Trump’s two terms in office, suggesting that his tried and trusted playbook could finally be falling apart.

Silvia Salis, the leftwing mayor of Genoa and former Olympian, is described as ‘a breath of fresh air’ and potential unifier

It has been a turbulent month in Italian politics.

A failed referendum on a judicial overhaul pierced prime minister Giorgia Meloni’s aura of invincibility, triggering government resignations and leaving her scrambling to restore credibility. At the same time, her once special relationship with Donald Trump has frayed after the US president publicly scolded her this week for criticising his broadside against Pope Leo and for not supporting the US-Israeli war on Iran.

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The new EU entry-exit system (EES) has caused huge delays at border checks, with some people waiting for up to three hours, airports say.

Passengers in airports in countries such as France, Germany, Belgium, Italy, Spain and Greece are waiting several hours, the Airports Council International (ACI) body has said.

Is AI helping with your workouts? We want to hear about it

According to reports, people are incorporating AI into their fitness routines in a variety of ways; they have it write up training plans, design meal plans and workout playlists, and provide feedback on form.

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Crisis in the Middle East, Russian strikes in Kyiv, Orthodox Easter and Karol G at Coachella – the past seven days as captured by the world’s leading photojournalists