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Love's Labour's Lost

ACT I

SCENE I. The king of Navarre's park.

FERDINANDLet fame, that all hunt after in their lives,
Live register'd upon our brazen tombs
And then grace us in the disgrace of death;
When, spite of cormorant devouring Time,
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 5The endeavor of this present breath may buy
That honour which shall bate his scythe's keen edge
And make us heirs of all eternity.
Therefore, brave conquerors, — for so you are,
That war against your own affections
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 10And the huge army of the world's desires, —
Our late edict shall strongly stand in force:
Navarre shall be the wonder of the world;
Our court shall be a little Academe,
Still and contemplative in living art.
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 15You three, Biron, Dumain, and Longaville,
Have sworn for three years' term to live with me
My fellow-scholars, and to keep those statutes
That are recorded in this schedule here:
Your oaths are pass'd; and now subscribe your names,
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 20That his own hand may strike his honour down
That violates the smallest branch herein:
If you are arm'd to do as sworn to do,
Subscribe to your deep oaths, and keep it too.
LONGAVILLEI am resolved; 'tis but a three years' fast:
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 25The mind shall banquet, though the body pine:
Fat paunches have lean pates, and dainty bits
Make rich the ribs, but bankrupt quite the wits.
DUMAINMy loving lord, Dumain is mortified:
The grosser manner of these world's delights
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 30He throws upon the gross world's baser slaves:
To love, to wealth, to pomp, I pine and die;
With all these living in philosophy.
BIRONI can but say their protestation over;
So much, dear liege, I have already sworn,
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 35That is, to live and study here three years.
But there are other strict observances;
As, not to see a woman in that term,
Which I hope well is not enrolled there;
And one day in a week to touch no food
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 40And but one meal on every day beside,
The which I hope is not enrolled there;
And then, to sleep but three hours in the night,
And not be seen to wink of all the day —
When I was wont to think no harm all night
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 45And make a dark night too of half the day —
Which I hope well is not enrolled there:
O, these are barren tasks, too hard to keep,
Not to see ladies, study, fast, not sleep!
FERDINANDYour oath is pass'd to pass away from these.
BIRONAct 1 Sc 1 Ln 50Let me say no, my liege, an if you please:
I only swore to study with your grace
And stay here in your court for three years' space.
LONGAVILLEYou swore to that, Biron, and to the rest.
BIRONBy yea and nay, sir, then I swore in jest.
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 55What is the end of study? let me know.
FERDINANDWhy, that to know, which else we should not know.
BIRONThings hid and barr'd, you mean, from common sense?
FERDINANDAy, that is study's godlike recompense.
BIRONCome on, then; I will swear to study so,
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 60To know the thing I am forbid to know:
As thus, — to study where I well may dine,
When I to feast expressly am forbid;
Or study where to meet some mistress fine,
When mistresses from common sense are hid;
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 65Or, having sworn too hard a keeping oath,
Study to break it and not break my troth.
If study's gain be thus and this be so,
Study knows that which yet it doth not know:
Swear me to this, and I will ne'er say no.
FERDINANDAct 1 Sc 1 Ln 70These be the stops that hinder study quite
And train our intellects to vain delight.
BIRONWhy, all delights are vain; but that most vain,
Which with pain purchased doth inherit pain:
As, painfully to pore upon a book
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 75To seek the light of truth; while truth the while
Doth falsely blind the eyesight of his look:
Light seeking light doth light of light beguile:
So, ere you find where light in darkness lies,
Your light grows dark by losing of your eyes.
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 80Study me how to please the eye indeed
By fixing it upon a fairer eye,
Who dazzling so, that eye shall be his heed
And give him light that it was blinded by.
Study is like the heaven's glorious sun
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 85That will not be deep-search'd with saucy looks:
Small have continual plodders ever won
Save base authority from others' books
These earthly godfathers of heaven's lights
That give a name to every fixed star
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 90Have no more profit of their shining nights
Than those that walk and wot not what they are.
Too much to know is to know nought but fame;
And every godfather can give a name.
FERDINANDHow well he's read, to reason against reading!
DUMAINAct 1 Sc 1 Ln 95Proceeded well, to stop all good proceeding!
LONGAVILLEHe weeds the corn and still lets grow the weeding.
BIRONThe spring is near when green geese are a-breeding.
DUMAINHow follows that?
BIRONFit in his place and time.
DUMAINAct 1 Sc 1 Ln 100In reason nothing.
BIRONSomething then in rhyme.
FERDINANDBiron is like an envious sneaping frost,
That bites the first-born infants of the spring.
BIRONWell, say I am; why should proud summer boast
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 105Before the birds have any cause to sing?
Why should I joy in any abortive birth?
At Christmas I no more desire a rose
Than wish a snow in May's new-fangled mirth;
But like of each thing that in season grows.
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 110So you, to study now it is too late,
Climb o'er the house to unlock the little gate.
FERDINANDWell, sit you out: go home, Biron: adieu.
BIRONNo, my good lord; I have sworn to stay with you:
And though I have for barbarism spoke more
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 115Than for that angel knowledge you can say,
Yet confident I'll keep what I have swore
And bide the penance of each three years' day.
Give me the paper; let me read the same;
And to the strict'st decrees I'll write my name.
FERDINANDAct 1 Sc 1 Ln 120How well this yielding rescues thee from shame!
BIRON 'Item, That no woman shall come within a
mile of my court:' Hath this been proclaimed?
LONGAVILLEFour days ago.
BIRONLet's see the penalty.
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 125'On pain of losing her tongue.' Who devised this penalty?
LONGAVILLEMarry, that did I.
BIRONSweet lord, and why?
LONGAVILLETo fright them hence with that dread penalty.
BIRONA dangerous law against gentility!
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 130'Item, If any man be seen to talk with a woman
within the term of three years, he shall endure such
public shame as the rest of the court can possibly devise.'
This article, my liege, yourself must break;
For well you know here comes in embassy
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 135The French king's daughter with yourself to speak —
A maid of grace and complete majesty —
About surrender up of Aquitaine
To her decrepit, sick and bedrid father:
Therefore this article is made in vain,
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 140Or vainly comes the admired princess hither.
FERDINANDWhat say you, lords? Why, this was quite forgot.
BIRONSo study evermore is overshot:
While it doth study to have what it would
It doth forget to do the thing it should,
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 145And when it hath the thing it hunteth most,
'Tis won as towns with fire, so won, so lost.
FERDINANDWe must of force dispense with this decree;
She must lie here on mere necessity.
BIRONNecessity will make us all forsworn
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 150Three thousand times within this three years' space;
For every man with his affects is born,
Not by might master'd but by special grace:
If I break faith, this word shall speak for me;
I am forsworn on 'mere necessity.'
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 155So to the laws at large I write my name:
And he that breaks them in the least degree
Stands in attainder of eternal shame:
Suggestions are to other as to me;
But I believe, although I seem so loath,
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 160I am the last that will last keep his oath.
But is there no quick recreation granted?
FERDINANDAy, that there is. Our court, you know, is haunted
With a refined traveller of Spain;
A man in all the world's new fashion planted,
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 165That hath a mint of phrases in his brain;
One whom the music of his own vain tongue
Doth ravish like enchanting harmony;
A man of complements, whom right and wrong
Have chose as umpire of their mutiny:
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 170This child of fancy, that Armado hight,
For interim to our studies shall relate
In high-born words the worth of many a knight
From tawny Spain lost in the world's debate.
How you delight, my lords, I know not, I;
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 175But, I protest, I love to hear him lie
And I will use him for my minstrelsy.
BIRONArmado is a most illustrious wight,
A man of fire-new words, fashion's own knight.
LONGAVILLECostard the swain and he shall be our sport;
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 180And so to study, three years is but short.
DULLWhich is the duke's own person?
BIRONThis, fellow: what wouldst?
DULLI myself reprehend his own person, for I am his
grace's tharborough: but I would see his own person
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 185in flesh and blood.
BIRONThis is he.
DULLSignior Arme — Arme — commends you. There's villany
abroad: this letter will tell you more.
COSTARDSir, the contempts thereof are as touching me.
FERDINANDAct 1 Sc 1 Ln 190A letter from the magnificent Armado.
BIRONHow low soever the matter, I hope in God for high words.
LONGAVILLEA high hope for a low heaven: God grant us patience!
BIRONTo hear? or forbear laughing?
LONGAVILLETo hear meekly, sir, and to laugh moderately; or to
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 195forbear both.
BIRONWell, sir, be it as the style shall give us cause to
climb in the merriness.
COSTARDThe matter is to me, sir, as concerning Jaquenetta.
The manner of it is, I was taken with the manner.
BIRONAct 1 Sc 1 Ln 200In what manner?
COSTARDIn manner and form following, sir; all those three:
I was seen with her in the manor-house, sitting with
her upon the form, and taken following her into the
park; which, put together, is in manner and form
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 205following. Now, sir, for the manner, — it is the
manner of a man to speak to a woman: for the form, —
in some form.
BIRONFor the following, sir?
COSTARDAs it shall follow in my correction: and God defend
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 210the right!
FERDINANDWill you hear this letter with attention?
BIRONAs we would hear an oracle.
COSTARDSuch is the simplicity of man to hearken after the flesh.
FERDINAND 'Great deputy, the welkin's vicegerent and
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 215sole dominator of Navarre, my soul's earth's god,
and body's fostering patron.'
COSTARDNot a word of Costard yet.
FERDINAND 'So it is,' —
COSTARDIt may be so: but if he say it is so, he is, in
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 220telling true, but so.
FERDINANDPeace!
COSTARDBe to me and every man that dares not fight!
FERDINANDNo words!
COSTARDOf other men's secrets, I beseech you.
FERDINANDAct 1 Sc 1 Ln 225 'So it is, besieged with sable-coloured
melancholy, I did commend the black-oppressing humour
to the most wholesome physic of thy health-giving
air; and, as I am a gentleman, betook myself to
walk. The time when. About the sixth hour; when
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 230beasts most graze, birds best peck, and men sit down
to that nourishment which is called supper: so much
for the time when. Now for the ground which; which,
I mean, I walked upon: it is y-cleped thy park. Then
for the place where; where, I mean, I did encounter
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 235that obscene and preposterous event, that draweth
from my snow-white pen the ebon-coloured ink, which
here thou viewest, beholdest, surveyest, or seest;
but to the place where; it standeth north-north-east
and by east from the west corner of thy curious-
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 240knotted garden: there did I see that low-spirited
swain, that base minnow of thy mirth,' —
COSTARDMe?
FERDINAND 'that unlettered small-knowing soul,' —
COSTARDMe?
FERDINANDAct 1 Sc 1 Ln 245 'that shallow vassal,' —
COSTARDStill me?
FERDINAND 'which, as I remember, hight Costard,' —
COSTARDO, me!
FERDINAND 'sorted and consorted, contrary to thy
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 250established proclaimed edict and continent canon,
which with, — O, with — but with this I passion to say
wherewith, —
COSTARDWith a wench.
FERDINAND 'with a child of our grandmother Eve, a
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 255female; or, for thy more sweet understanding, a
woman. Him I, as my ever-esteemed duty pricks me on,
have sent to thee, to receive the meed of
punishment, by thy sweet grace's officer, Anthony
Dull; a man of good repute, carriage, bearing, and
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 260estimation.'
DULL'Me, an't shall please you; I am Anthony Dull.
FERDINAND 'For Jaquenetta, — so is the weaker vessel
called which I apprehended with the aforesaid
swain, — I keep her as a vessel of the law's fury;
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 265and shall, at the least of thy sweet notice, bring
her to trial. Thine, in all compliments of devoted
and heart-burning heat of duty.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO.'
BIRONThis is not so well as I looked for, but the best
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 270that ever I heard.
FERDINANDAy, the best for the worst. But, sirrah, what say
you to this?
COSTARDSir, I confess the wench.
FERDINANDDid you hear the proclamation?
COSTARDAct 1 Sc 1 Ln 275I do confess much of the hearing it but little of
the marking of it.
FERDINANDIt was proclaimed a year's imprisonment, to be taken
with a wench.
COSTARDI was taken with none, sir: I was taken with a damsel.
FERDINANDAct 1 Sc 1 Ln 280Well, it was proclaimed 'damsel.'
COSTARDThis was no damsel, neither, sir; she was a virgin.
FERDINANDIt is so varied, too; for it was proclaimed 'virgin.'
COSTARDIf it were, I deny her virginity: I was taken with a maid.
FERDINANDThis maid will not serve your turn, sir.
COSTARDAct 1 Sc 1 Ln 285This maid will serve my turn, sir.
FERDINANDSir, I will pronounce your sentence: you shall fast
a week with bran and water.
COSTARDI had rather pray a month with mutton and porridge.
FERDINANDAnd Don Armado shall be your keeper.
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 290My Lord Biron, see him deliver'd o'er:
And go we, lords, to put in practise that
Which each to other hath so strongly sworn.
BIRONI'll lay my head to any good man's hat,
These oaths and laws will prove an idle scorn.
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 295Sirrah, come on.
COSTARDI suffer for the truth, sir; for true it is, I was
taken with Jaquenetta, and Jaquenetta is a true
girl; and therefore welcome the sour cup of
prosperity! Affliction may one day smile again; and
Act 1 Sc 1 Ln 300till then, sit thee down, sorrow!

ACT I

SCENE II. The same.

DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOBoy, what sign is it when a man of great spirit
grows melancholy?
MOTHA great sign, sir, that he will look sad.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOWhy, sadness is one and the self-same thing, dear imp.
MOTHAct 1 Sc 2 Ln 5No, no; O Lord, sir, no.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOHow canst thou part sadness and melancholy, my
tender juvenal?
MOTHBy a familiar demonstration of the working, my tough senior.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOWhy tough senior? why tough senior?
MOTHAct 1 Sc 2 Ln 10Why tender juvenal? why tender juvenal?
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOI spoke it, tender juvenal, as a congruent epitheton
appertaining to thy young days, which we may
nominate tender.
MOTHAnd I, tough senior, as an appertinent title to your
Act 1 Sc 2 Ln 15old time, which we may name tough.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOPretty and apt.
MOTHHow mean you, sir? I pretty, and my saying apt? or
I apt, and my saying pretty?
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOThou pretty, because little.
MOTHAct 1 Sc 2 Ln 20Little pretty, because little. Wherefore apt?
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOAnd therefore apt, because quick.
MOTHSpeak you this in my praise, master?
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOIn thy condign praise.
MOTHI will praise an eel with the same praise.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOAct 1 Sc 2 Ln 25What, that an eel is ingenious?
MOTHThat an eel is quick.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOI do say thou art quick in answers: thou heatest my blood.
MOTHI am answered, sir.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOI love not to be crossed.
MOTHAct 1 Sc 2 Ln 30 He speaks the mere contrary; crosses love not him.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOI have promised to study three years with the duke.
MOTHYou may do it in an hour, sir.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOImpossible.
MOTHHow many is one thrice told?
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOAct 1 Sc 2 Ln 35I am ill at reckoning; it fitteth the spirit of a tapster.
MOTHYou are a gentleman and a gamester, sir.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOI confess both: they are both the varnish of a
complete man.
MOTHThen, I am sure, you know how much the gross sum of
Act 1 Sc 2 Ln 40deuce-ace amounts to.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOIt doth amount to one more than two.
MOTHWhich the base vulgar do call three.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOTrue.
MOTHWhy, sir, is this such a piece of study? Now here
Act 1 Sc 2 Ln 45is three studied, ere ye'll thrice wink: and how
easy it is to put 'years' to the word 'three,' and
study three years in two words, the dancing horse
will tell you.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOA most fine figure!
MOTHAct 1 Sc 2 Ln 50To prove you a cipher.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOI will hereupon confess I am in love: and as it is
base for a soldier to love, so am I in love with a
base wench. If drawing my sword against the humour
of affection would deliver me from the reprobate
Act 1 Sc 2 Ln 55thought of it, I would take Desire prisoner, and
ransom him to any French courtier for a new-devised
courtesy. I think scorn to sigh: methinks I should
outswear Cupid. Comfort, me, boy: what great men
have been in love?
MOTHAct 1 Sc 2 Ln 60Hercules, master.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOMost sweet Hercules! More authority, dear boy, name
more; and, sweet my child, let them be men of good
repute and carriage.
MOTHSamson, master: he was a man of good carriage, great
Act 1 Sc 2 Ln 65carriage, for he carried the town-gates on his back
like a porter: and he was in love.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOO well-knit Samson! strong-jointed Samson! I do
excel thee in my rapier as much as thou didst me in
carrying gates. I am in love too. Who was Samson's
Act 1 Sc 2 Ln 70love, my dear Moth?
MOTHA woman, master.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOOf what complexion?
MOTHOf all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of the four.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOTell me precisely of what complexion.
MOTHAct 1 Sc 2 Ln 75Of the sea-water green, sir.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOIs that one of the four complexions?
MOTHAs I have read, sir; and the best of them too.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOGreen indeed is the colour of lovers; but to have a
love of that colour, methinks Samson had small reason
Act 1 Sc 2 Ln 80for it. He surely affected her for her wit.
MOTHIt was so, sir; for she had a green wit.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOMy love is most immaculate white and red.
MOTHMost maculate thoughts, master, are masked under
such colours.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOAct 1 Sc 2 Ln 85Define, define, well-educated infant.
MOTHMy father's wit and my mother's tongue, assist me!
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOSweet invocation of a child; most pretty and
pathetical!
MOTHIf she be made of white and red,
Act 1 Sc 2 Ln 90Her faults will ne'er be known,
For blushing cheeks by faults are bred
And fears by pale white shown:
Then if she fear, or be to blame,
By this you shall not know,
Act 1 Sc 2 Ln 95For still her cheeks possess the same
Which native she doth owe.
A dangerous rhyme, master, against the reason of
white and red.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOIs there not a ballad, boy, of the King and the Beggar?
MOTHAct 1 Sc 2 Ln 100The world was very guilty of such a ballad some
three ages since: but I think now 'tis not to be
found; or, if it were, it would neither serve for
the writing nor the tune.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOI will have that subject newly writ o'er, that I may
Act 1 Sc 2 Ln 105example my digression by some mighty precedent.
Boy, I do love that country girl that I took in the
park with the rational hind Costard: she deserves well.
MOTH To be whipped; and yet a better love than
my master.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOAct 1 Sc 2 Ln 110Sing, boy; my spirit grows heavy in love.
MOTHAnd that's great marvel, loving a light wench.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOI say, sing.
MOTHForbear till this company be past.
DULLSir, the duke's pleasure is, that you keep Costard
Act 1 Sc 2 Ln 115safe: and you must suffer him to take no delight
nor no penance; but a' must fast three days a week.
For this damsel, I must keep her at the park: she
is allowed for the day-woman. Fare you well.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOI do betray myself with blushing. Maid!
JAQUENETTAAct 1 Sc 2 Ln 120Man?
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOI will visit thee at the lodge.
JAQUENETTAThat's hereby.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOI know where it is situate.
JAQUENETTALord, how wise you are!
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOAct 1 Sc 2 Ln 125I will tell thee wonders.
JAQUENETTAWith that face?
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOI love thee.
JAQUENETTASo I heard you say.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOAnd so, farewell.
JAQUENETTAAct 1 Sc 2 Ln 130Fair weather after you!
DULLCome, Jaquenetta, away!
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOVillain, thou shalt fast for thy offences ere thou
be pardoned.
COSTARDWell, sir, I hope, when I do it, I shall do it on a
Act 1 Sc 2 Ln 135full stomach.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOThou shalt be heavily punished.
COSTARDI am more bound to you than your fellows, for they
are but lightly rewarded.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOTake away this villain; shut him up.
MOTHAct 1 Sc 2 Ln 140Come, you transgressing slave; away!
COSTARDLet me not be pent up, sir: I will fast, being loose.
MOTHNo, sir; that were fast and loose: thou shalt to prison.
COSTARDWell, if ever I do see the merry days of desolation
that I have seen, some shall see.
MOTHAct 1 Sc 2 Ln 145What shall some see?
COSTARDNay, nothing, Master Moth, but what they look upon.
It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their
words; and therefore I will say nothing: I thank
God I have as little patience as another man; and
Act 1 Sc 2 Ln 150therefore I can be quiet.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOI do affect the very ground, which is base, where
her shoe, which is baser, guided by her foot, which
is basest, doth tread. I shall be forsworn, which
is a great argument of falsehood, if I love. And
Act 1 Sc 2 Ln 155how can that be true love which is falsely
attempted? Love is a familiar; Love is a devil:
there is no evil angel but Love. Yet was Samson so
tempted, and he had an excellent strength; yet was
Solomon so seduced, and he had a very good wit.
Act 1 Sc 2 Ln 160Cupid's butt-shaft is too hard for Hercules' club;
and therefore too much odds for a Spaniard's rapier.
The first and second cause will not serve my turn;
the passado he respects not, the duello he regards
not: his disgrace is to be called boy; but his
Act 1 Sc 2 Ln 165glory is to subdue men. Adieu, valour! rust rapier!
be still, drum! for your manager is in love; yea,
he loveth. Assist me, some extemporal god of rhyme,
for I am sure I shall turn sonnet. Devise, wit;
write, pen; for I am for whole volumes in folio.

ACT II

SCENE I. The same.

BOYETNow, madam, summon up your dearest spirits:
Consider who the king your father sends,
To whom he sends, and what's his embassy:
Yourself, held precious in the world's esteem,
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 5To parley with the sole inheritor
Of all perfections that a man may owe,
Matchless Navarre; the plea of no less weight
Than Aquitaine, a dowry for a queen.
Be now as prodigal of all dear grace
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 10As Nature was in making graces dear
When she did starve the general world beside
And prodigally gave them all to you.
PRINCESSGood Lord Boyet, my beauty, though but mean,
Needs not the painted flourish of your praise:
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 15Beauty is bought by judgement of the eye,
Not utter'd by base sale of chapmen's tongues:
I am less proud to hear you tell my worth
Than you much willing to be counted wise
In spending your wit in the praise of mine.
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 20But now to task the tasker: good Boyet,
You are not ignorant, all-telling fame
Doth noise abroad, Navarre hath made a vow,
Till painful study shall outwear three years,
No woman may approach his silent court:
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 25Therefore to's seemeth it a needful course,
Before we enter his forbidden gates,
To know his pleasure; and in that behalf,
Bold of your worthiness, we single you
As our best-moving fair solicitor.
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 30Tell him, the daughter of the King of France,
On serious business, craving quick dispatch,
Importunes personal conference with his grace:
Haste, signify so much; while we attend,
Like humble-visaged suitors, his high will.
BOYETAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 35Proud of employment, willingly I go.
PRINCESSAll pride is willing pride, and yours is so.
Who are the votaries, my loving lords,
That are vow-fellows with this virtuous duke?
First LordLord Longaville is one.
PRINCESSAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 40Know you the man?
MARIAI know him, madam: at a marriage-feast,
Between Lord Perigort and the beauteous heir
Of Jaques Falconbridge, solemnized
In Normandy, saw I this Longaville:
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 45A man of sovereign parts he is esteem'd;
Well fitted in arts, glorious in arms:
Nothing becomes him ill that he would well.
The only soil of his fair virtue's gloss,
If virtue's gloss will stain with any soil,
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 50Is a sharp wit matched with too blunt a will;
Whose edge hath power to cut, whose will still wills
It should none spare that come within his power.
PRINCESSSome merry mocking lord, belike; is't so?
MARIAThey say so most that most his humours know.
PRINCESSAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 55Such short-lived wits do wither as they grow.
Who are the rest?
KATHARINEThe young Dumain, a well-accomplished youth,
Of all that virtue love for virtue loved:
Most power to do most harm, least knowing ill;
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 60For he hath wit to make an ill shape good,
And shape to win grace though he had no wit.
I saw him at the Duke Alencon's once;
And much too little of that good I saw
Is my report to his great worthiness.
ROSALINEAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 65Another of these students at that time
Was there with him, if I have heard a truth.
Biron they call him; but a merrier man,
Within the limit of becoming mirth,
I never spent an hour's talk withal:
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 70His eye begets occasion for his wit;
For every object that the one doth catch
The other turns to a mirth-moving jest,
Which his fair tongue, conceit's expositor,
Delivers in such apt and gracious words
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 75That aged ears play truant at his tales
And younger hearings are quite ravished;
So sweet and voluble is his discourse.
PRINCESSGod bless my ladies! are they all in love,
That every one her own hath garnished
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 80With such bedecking ornaments of praise?
First LordHere comes Boyet.
PRINCESSNow, what admittance, lord?
BOYETNavarre had notice of your fair approach;
And he and his competitors in oath
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 85Were all address'd to meet you, gentle lady,
Before I came. Marry, thus much I have learnt:
He rather means to lodge you in the field,
Like one that comes here to besiege his court,
Than seek a dispensation for his oath,
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 90To let you enter his unpeopled house.
Here comes Navarre.
FERDINANDFair princess, welcome to the court of Navarre.
PRINCESS'Fair' I give you back again; and 'welcome' I have
not yet: the roof of this court is too high to be
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 95yours; and welcome to the wide fields too base to be mine.
FERDINANDYou shall be welcome, madam, to my court.
PRINCESSI will be welcome, then: conduct me thither.
FERDINANDHear me, dear lady; I have sworn an oath.
PRINCESSOur Lady help my lord! he'll be forsworn.
FERDINANDAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 100Not for the world, fair madam, by my will.
PRINCESSWhy, will shall break it; will and nothing else.
FERDINANDYour ladyship is ignorant what it is.
PRINCESSWere my lord so, his ignorance were wise,
Where now his knowledge must prove ignorance.
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 105I hear your grace hath sworn out house-keeping:
Tis deadly sin to keep that oath, my lord,
And sin to break it.
But pardon me. I am too sudden-bold:
To teach a teacher ill beseemeth me.
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 110Vouchsafe to read the purpose of my coming,
And suddenly resolve me in my suit.
FERDINANDMadam, I will, if suddenly I may.
PRINCESSYou will the sooner, that I were away;
For you'll prove perjured if you make me stay.
BIRONAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 115Did not I dance with you in Brabant once?
ROSALINEDid not I dance with you in Brabant once?
BIRONI know you did.
ROSALINEHow needless was it then to ask the question!
BIRONYou must not be so quick.
ROSALINEAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 120'Tis 'long of you that spur me with such questions.
BIRONYour wit's too hot, it speeds too fast, 'twill tire.
ROSALINENot till it leave the rider in the mire.
BIRONWhat time o' day?
ROSALINEThe hour that fools should ask.
BIRONAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 125Now fair befall your mask!
ROSALINEFair fall the face it covers!
BIRONAnd send you many lovers!
ROSALINEAmen, so you be none.
BIRONNay, then will I be gone.
FERDINANDAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 130Madam, your father here doth intimate
The payment of a hundred thousand crowns;
Being but the one half of an entire sum
Disbursed by my father in his wars.
But say that he or we, as neither have,
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 135Received that sum, yet there remains unpaid
A hundred thousand more; in surety of the which,
One part of Aquitaine is bound to us,
Although not valued to the money's worth.
If then the king your father will restore
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 140But that one half which is unsatisfied,
We will give up our right in Aquitaine,
And hold fair friendship with his majesty.
But that, it seems, he little purposeth,
For here he doth demand to have repaid
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 145A hundred thousand crowns; and not demands,
On payment of a hundred thousand crowns,
To have his title live in Aquitaine;
Which we much rather had depart withal
And have the money by our father lent
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 150Than Aquitaine so gelded as it is.
Dear Princess, were not his requests so far
From reason's yielding, your fair self should make
A yielding 'gainst some reason in my breast
And go well satisfied to France again.
PRINCESSAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 155You do the king my father too much wrong
And wrong the reputation of your name,
In so unseeming to confess receipt
Of that which hath so faithfully been paid.
FERDINANDI do protest I never heard of it;
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 160And if you prove it, I'll repay it back
Or yield up Aquitaine.
PRINCESSWe arrest your word.
Boyet, you can produce acquittances
For such a sum from special officers
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 165Of Charles his father.
FERDINANDSatisfy me so.
BOYETSo please your grace, the packet is not come
Where that and other specialties are bound:
To-morrow you shall have a sight of them.
FERDINANDAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 170It shall suffice me: at which interview
All liberal reason I will yield unto.
Meantime receive such welcome at my hand
As honour without breach of honour may
Make tender of to thy true worthiness:
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 175You may not come, fair princess, in my gates;
But here without you shall be so received
As you shall deem yourself lodged in my heart,
Though so denied fair harbour in my house.
Your own good thoughts excuse me, and farewell:
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 180To-morrow shall we visit you again.
PRINCESSSweet health and fair desires consort your grace!
FERDINANDThy own wish wish I thee in every place!
BIRONLady, I will commend you to mine own heart.
ROSALINEPray you, do my commendations; I would be glad to see it.
BIRONAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 185I would you heard it groan.
ROSALINEIs the fool sick?
BIRONSick at the heart.
ROSALINEAlack, let it blood.
BIRONWould that do it good?
ROSALINEAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 190My physic says 'ay.'
BIRONWill you prick't with your eye?
ROSALINENo point, with my knife.
BIRONNow, God save thy life!
ROSALINEAnd yours from long living!
BIRONAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 195I cannot stay thanksgiving.
DUMAINSir, I pray you, a word: what lady is that same?
BOYETThe heir of Alencon, Katharine her name.
DUMAINA gallant lady. Monsieur, fare you well.
LONGAVILLEI beseech you a word: what is she in the white?
BOYETAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 200A woman sometimes, an you saw her in the light.
LONGAVILLEPerchance light in the light. I desire her name.
BOYETShe hath but one for herself; to desire that were a shame.
LONGAVILLEPray you, sir, whose daughter?
BOYETHer mother's, I have heard.
LONGAVILLEAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 205God's blessing on your beard!
BOYETGood sir, be not offended.
She is an heir of Falconbridge.
LONGAVILLENay, my choler is ended.
She is a most sweet lady.
BOYETAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 210Not unlike, sir, that may be.
BIRONWhat's her name in the cap?
BOYETRosaline, by good hap.
BIRONIs she wedded or no?
BOYETTo her will, sir, or so.
BIRONAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 215You are welcome, sir: adieu.
BOYETFarewell to me, sir, and welcome to you.
MARIAThat last is Biron, the merry madcap lord:
Not a word with him but a jest.
BOYETAnd every jest but a word.
PRINCESSAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 220It was well done of you to take him at his word.
BOYETI was as willing to grapple as he was to board.
MARIATwo hot sheeps, marry.
BOYETAnd wherefore not ships?
No sheep, sweet lamb, unless we feed on your lips.
MARIAAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 225You sheep, and I pasture: shall that finish the jest?
BOYETSo you grant pasture for me.
MARIANot so, gentle beast:
My lips are no common, though several they be.
BOYETBelonging to whom?
MARIAAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 230To my fortunes and me.
PRINCESSGood wits will be jangling; but, gentles, agree:
This civil war of wits were much better used
On Navarre and his book-men; for here 'tis abused.
BOYETIf my observation, which very seldom lies,
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 235By the heart's still rhetoric disclosed with eyes,
Deceive me not now, Navarre is infected.
PRINCESSWith what?
BOYETWith that which we lovers entitle affected.
PRINCESSYour reason?
BOYETAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 240Why, all his behaviors did make their retire
To the court of his eye, peeping thorough desire:
His heart, like an agate, with your print impress'd,
Proud with his form, in his eye pride express'd:
His tongue, all impatient to speak and not see,
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 245Did stumble with haste in his eyesight to be;
All senses to that sense did make their repair,
To feel only looking on fairest of fair:
Methought all his senses were lock'd in his eye,
As jewels in crystal for some prince to buy;
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 250Who, tendering their own worth from where they were glass'd,
Did point you to buy them, along as you pass'd:
His face's own margent did quote such amazes
That all eyes saw his eyes enchanted with gazes.
I'll give you Aquitaine and all that is his,
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 255An you give him for my sake but one loving kiss.
PRINCESSCome to our pavilion: Boyet is disposed.
BOYETBut to speak that in words which his eye hath
disclosed.
I only have made a mouth of his eye,
Act 2 Sc 1 Ln 260By adding a tongue which I know will not lie.
ROSALINEThou art an old love-monger and speakest skilfully.
MARIAHe is Cupid's grandfather and learns news of him.
ROSALINEThen was Venus like her mother, for her father is but grim.
BOYETDo you hear, my mad wenches?
MARIAAct 2 Sc 1 Ln 265No.
BOYETWhat then, do you see?
ROSALINEAy, our way to be gone.
BOYETYou are too hard for me.

ACT III

SCENE I. The same.

DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOWarble, child; make passionate my sense of hearing.
MOTHConcolinel.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOSweet air! Go, tenderness of years; take this key,
give enlargement to the swain, bring him festinately
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 5hither: I must employ him in a letter to my love.
MOTHMaster, will you win your love with a French brawl?
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOHow meanest thou? brawling in French?
MOTHNo, my complete master: but to jig off a tune at
the tongue's end, canary to it with your feet, humour
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 10it with turning up your eyelids, sigh a note and
sing a note, sometime through the throat, as if you
swallowed love with singing love, sometime through
the nose, as if you snuffed up love by smelling
love; with your hat penthouse-like o'er the shop of
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 15your eyes; with your arms crossed on your thin-belly
doublet like a rabbit on a spit; or your hands in
your pocket like a man after the old painting; and
keep not too long in one tune, but a snip and away.
These are complements, these are humours; these
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 20betray nice wenches, that would be betrayed without
these; and make them men of note — do you note
me? — that most are affected to these.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOHow hast thou purchased this experience?
MOTHBy my penny of observation.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOAct 3 Sc 1 Ln 25But O, — but O, —
MOTH'The hobby-horse is forgot.'
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOCallest thou my love 'hobby-horse'?
MOTHNo, master; the hobby-horse is but a colt, and your
love perhaps a hackney. But have you forgot your love?
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOAct 3 Sc 1 Ln 30Almost I had.
MOTHNegligent student! learn her by heart.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOBy heart and in heart, boy.
MOTHAnd out of heart, master: all those three I will prove.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOWhat wilt thou prove?
MOTHAct 3 Sc 1 Ln 35A man, if I live; and this, by, in, and without, upon
the instant: by heart you love her, because your
heart cannot come by her; in heart you love her,
because your heart is in love with her; and out of
heart you love her, being out of heart that you
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 40cannot enjoy her.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOI am all these three.
MOTHAnd three times as much more, and yet nothing at
all.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOFetch hither the swain: he must carry me a letter.
MOTHAct 3 Sc 1 Ln 45A message well sympathized; a horse to be ambassador
for an ass.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOHa, ha! what sayest thou?
MOTHMarry, sir, you must send the ass upon the horse,
for he is very slow-gaited. But I go.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOAct 3 Sc 1 Ln 50The way is but short: away!
MOTHAs swift as lead, sir.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOThe meaning, pretty ingenious?
Is not lead a metal heavy, dull, and slow?
MOTHMinime, honest master; or rather, master, no.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOAct 3 Sc 1 Ln 55I say lead is slow.
MOTHYou are too swift, sir, to say so:
Is that lead slow which is fired from a gun?
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOSweet smoke of rhetoric!
He reputes me a cannon; and the bullet, that's he:
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 60I shoot thee at the swain.
MOTHThump then and I flee.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOA most acute juvenal; voluble and free of grace!
By thy favour, sweet welkin, I must sigh in thy face:
Most rude melancholy, valour gives thee place.
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 65My herald is return'd.
MOTHA wonder, master! here's a costard broken in a shin.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOSome enigma, some riddle: come, thy l'envoy; begin.
COSTARDNo enigma, no riddle, no l'envoy; no salve in the
mail, sir: O, sir, plantain, a plain plantain! no
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 70l'envoy, no l'envoy; no salve, sir, but a plantain!
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOBy virtue, thou enforcest laughter; thy silly
thought my spleen; the heaving of my lungs provokes
me to ridiculous smiling. O, pardon me, my stars!
Doth the inconsiderate take salve for l'envoy, and
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 75the word l'envoy for a salve?
MOTHDo the wise think them other? is not l'envoy a salve?
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADONo, page: it is an epilogue or discourse, to make plain
Some obscure precedence that hath tofore been sain.
I will example it:
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 80The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,
Were still at odds, being but three.
There's the moral. Now the l'envoy.
MOTHI will add the l'envoy. Say the moral again.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOThe fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 85Were still at odds, being but three.
MOTHUntil the goose came out of door,
And stay'd the odds by adding four.
Now will I begin your moral, and do you follow with
my l'envoy.
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 90The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,
Were still at odds, being but three.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOUntil the goose came out of door,
Staying the odds by adding four.
MOTHA good l'envoy, ending in the goose: would you
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 95desire more?
COSTARDThe boy hath sold him a bargain, a goose, that's flat.
Sir, your pennyworth is good, an your goose be fat.
To sell a bargain well is as cunning as fast and loose:
Let me see; a fat l'envoy; ay, that's a fat goose.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOAct 3 Sc 1 Ln 100Come hither, come hither. How did this argument begin?
MOTHBy saying that a costard was broken in a shin.
Then call'd you for the l'envoy.
COSTARDTrue, and I for a plantain: thus came your
argument in;
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 105Then the boy's fat l'envoy, the goose that you bought;
And he ended the market.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOBut tell me; how was there a costard broken in a shin?
MOTHI will tell you sensibly.
COSTARDThou hast no feeling of it, Moth: I will speak that l'envoy:
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 110I Costard, running out, that was safely within,
Fell over the threshold and broke my shin.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOWe will talk no more of this matter.
COSTARDTill there be more matter in the shin.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOSirrah Costard, I will enfranchise thee.
COSTARDAct 3 Sc 1 Ln 115O, marry me to one Frances: I smell some l'envoy,
some goose, in this.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOBy my sweet soul, I mean setting thee at liberty,
enfreedoming thy person; thou wert immured,
restrained, captivated, bound.
COSTARDAct 3 Sc 1 Ln 120True, true; and now you will be my purgation and let me loose.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOI give thee thy liberty, set thee from durance; and,
in lieu thereof, impose on thee nothing but this:
bear this significant
to the country maid Jaquenetta:
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 125there is remuneration; for the best ward of mine
honour is rewarding my dependents. Moth, follow.
MOTHLike the sequel, I. Signior Costard, adieu.
COSTARDMy sweet ounce of man's flesh! my incony Jew!
Now will I look to his remuneration. Remuneration!
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 130O, that's the Latin word for three farthings: three
farthings — remuneration. — 'What's the price of this
inkle?' — 'One penny.' — 'No, I'll give you a
remuneration:' why, it carries it. Remuneration!
why, it is a fairer name than French crown. I will
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 135never buy and sell out of this word.
BIRONO, my good knave Costard! exceedingly well met.
COSTARDPray you, sir, how much carnation ribbon may a man
buy for a remuneration?
BIRONWhat is a remuneration?
COSTARDAct 3 Sc 1 Ln 140Marry, sir, halfpenny farthing.
BIRONWhy, then, three-farthing worth of silk.
COSTARDI thank your worship: God be wi' you!
BIRONStay, slave; I must employ thee:
As thou wilt win my favour, good my knave,
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 145Do one thing for me that I shall entreat.
COSTARDWhen would you have it done, sir?
BIRONThis afternoon.
COSTARDWell, I will do it, sir: fare you well.
BIRONThou knowest not what it is.
COSTARDAct 3 Sc 1 Ln 150I shall know, sir, when I have done it.
BIRONWhy, villain, thou must know first.
COSTARDI will come to your worship to-morrow morning.
BIRONIt must be done this afternoon.
Hark, slave, it is but this:
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 155The princess comes to hunt here in the park,
And in her train there is a gentle lady;
When tongues speak sweetly, then they name her name,
And Rosaline they call her: ask for her;
And to her white hand see thou do commend
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 160This seal'd-up counsel. There's thy guerdon; go.
COSTARDGardon, O sweet gardon! better than remuneration,
a'leven-pence farthing better: most sweet gardon! I
will do it sir, in print. Gardon! Remuneration!
BIRONAnd I, forsooth, in love! I, that have been love's whip;
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 165A very beadle to a humorous sigh;
A critic, nay, a night-watch constable;
A domineering pedant o'er the boy;
Than whom no mortal so magnificent!
This whimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy;
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 170This senior-junior, giant-dwarf, Dan Cupid;
Regent of love-rhymes, lord of folded arms,
The anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,
Liege of all loiterers and malcontents,
Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces,
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 175Sole imperator and great general
Of trotting 'paritors: — O my little heart: —
And I to be a corporal of his field,
And wear his colours like a tumbler's hoop!
What, I! I love! I sue! I seek a wife!
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 180A woman, that is like a German clock,
Still a-repairing, ever out of frame,
And never going aright, being a watch,
But being watch'd that it may still go right!
Nay, to be perjured, which is worst of all;
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 185And, among three, to love the worst of all;
A wightly wanton with a velvet brow,
With two pitch-balls stuck in her face for eyes;
Ay, and by heaven, one that will do the deed
Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard:
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 190And I to sigh for her! to watch for her!
To pray for her! Go to; it is a plague
That Cupid will impose for my neglect
Of his almighty dreadful little might.
Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue and groan:
Act 3 Sc 1 Ln 195Some men must love my lady and some Joan.

ACT IV

SCENE I. The same.

PRINCESSWas that the king, that spurred his horse so hard
Against the steep uprising of the hill?
BOYETI know not; but I think it was not he.
PRINCESSWhoe'er a' was, a' show'd a mounting mind.
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 5Well, lords, to-day we shall have our dispatch:
On Saturday we will return to France.
Then, forester, my friend, where is the bush
That we must stand and play the murderer in?
ForesterHereby, upon the edge of yonder coppice;
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 10A stand where you may make the fairest shoot.
PRINCESSI thank my beauty, I am fair that shoot,
And thereupon thou speak'st the fairest shoot.
ForesterPardon me, madam, for I meant not so.
PRINCESSWhat, what? first praise me and again say no?
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 15O short-lived pride! Not fair? alack for woe!
ForesterYes, madam, fair.
PRINCESSNay, never paint me now:
Where fair is not, praise cannot mend the brow.
Here, good my glass, take this for telling true:
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 20Fair payment for foul words is more than due.
ForesterNothing but fair is that which you inherit.
PRINCESSSee see, my beauty will be saved by merit!
O heresy in fair, fit for these days!
A giving hand, though foul, shall have fair praise.
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 25But come, the bow: now mercy goes to kill,
And shooting well is then accounted ill.
Thus will I save my credit in the shoot:
Not wounding, pity would not let me do't;
If wounding, then it was to show my skill,
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 30That more for praise than purpose meant to kill.
And out of question so it is sometimes,
Glory grows guilty of detested crimes,
When, for fame's sake, for praise, an outward part,
We bend to that the working of the heart;
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 35As I for praise alone now seek to spill
The poor deer's blood, that my heart means no ill.
BOYETDo not curst wives hold that self-sovereignty
Only for praise sake, when they strive to be
Lords o'er their lords?
PRINCESSAct 4 Sc 1 Ln 40Only for praise: and praise we may afford
To any lady that subdues a lord.
BOYETHere comes a member of the commonwealth.
COSTARDGod dig-you-den all! Pray you, which is the head lady?
PRINCESSThou shalt know her, fellow, by the rest that have no heads.
COSTARDAct 4 Sc 1 Ln 45Which is the greatest lady, the highest?
PRINCESSThe thickest and the tallest.
COSTARDThe thickest and the tallest! it is so; truth is truth.
An your waist, mistress, were as slender as my wit,
One o' these maids' girdles for your waist should be fit.
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 50Are not you the chief woman? you are the thickest here.
PRINCESSWhat's your will, sir? what's your will?
COSTARDI have a letter from Monsieur Biron to one Lady Rosaline.
PRINCESSO, thy letter, thy letter! he's a good friend of mine:
Stand aside, good bearer. Boyet, you can carve;
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 55Break up this capon.
BOYETI am bound to serve.
This letter is mistook, it importeth none here;
It is writ to Jaquenetta.
PRINCESSWe will read it, I swear.
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 60Break the neck of the wax, and every one give ear.
BOYET'By heaven, that thou art fair, is most infallible;
true, that thou art beauteous; truth itself, that
thou art lovely. More fairer than fair, beautiful
than beauteous, truer than truth itself, have
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 65commiseration on thy heroical vassal! The
magnanimous and most illustrate king Cophetua set
eye upon the pernicious and indubitate beggar
Zenelophon; and he it was that might rightly say,
Veni, vidi, vici; which to annothanize in the
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 70vulgar, — O base and obscure vulgar! — videlicet, He
came, saw, and overcame: he came, one; saw two;
overcame, three. Who came? the king: why did he
come? to see: why did he see? to overcome: to
whom came he? to the beggar: what saw he? the
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 75beggar: who overcame he? the beggar. The
conclusion is victory: on whose side? the king's.
The captive is enriched: on whose side? the
beggar's. The catastrophe is a nuptial: on whose
side? the king's: no, on both in one, or one in
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 80both. I am the king; for so stands the comparison:
thou the beggar; for so witnesseth thy lowliness.
Shall I command thy love? I may: shall I enforce
thy love? I could: shall I entreat thy love? I
will. What shalt thou exchange for rags? robes;
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 85for tittles? titles; for thyself? me. Thus,
expecting thy reply, I profane my lips on thy foot,
my eyes on thy picture. and my heart on thy every
part. Thine, in the dearest design of industry,
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO.'
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 90Thus dost thou hear the Nemean lion roar
'Gainst thee, thou lamb, that standest as his prey.
Submissive fall his princely feet before,
And he from forage will incline to play:
But if thou strive, poor soul, what art thou then?
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 95Food for his rage, repasture for his den.
PRINCESSWhat plume of feathers is he that indited this letter?
What vane? what weathercock? did you ever hear better?
BOYETI am much deceived but I remember the style.
PRINCESSElse your memory is bad, going o'er it erewhile.
BOYETAct 4 Sc 1 Ln 100This Armado is a Spaniard, that keeps here in court;
A phantasime, a Monarcho, and one that makes sport
To the prince and his bookmates.
PRINCESSThou fellow, a word:
Who gave thee this letter?
COSTARDAct 4 Sc 1 Ln 105I told you; my lord.
PRINCESSTo whom shouldst thou give it?
COSTARDFrom my lord to my lady.
PRINCESSFrom which lord to which lady?
COSTARDFrom my lord Biron, a good master of mine,
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 110To a lady of France that he call'd Rosaline.
PRINCESSThou hast mistaken his letter. Come, lords, away.
Here, sweet, put up this: 'twill be thine another day.
BOYETWho is the suitor? who is the suitor?
ROSALINEShall I teach you to know?
BOYETAct 4 Sc 1 Ln 115Ay, my continent of beauty.
ROSALINEWhy, she that bears the bow.
Finely put off!
BOYETMy lady goes to kill horns; but, if thou marry,
Hang me by the neck, if horns that year miscarry.
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 120Finely put on!
ROSALINEWell, then, I am the shooter.
BOYETAnd who is your deer?
ROSALINEIf we choose by the horns, yourself come not near.
Finely put on, indeed!
MARIAAct 4 Sc 1 Ln 125You still wrangle with her, Boyet, and she strikes
at the brow.
BOYETBut she herself is hit lower: have I hit her now?
ROSALINEShall I come upon thee with an old saying, that was
a man when King Pepin of France was a little boy, as
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 130touching the hit it?
BOYETSo I may answer thee with one as old, that was a
woman when Queen Guinover of Britain was a little
wench, as touching the hit it.
ROSALINEThou canst not hit it, hit it, hit it,
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 135Thou canst not hit it, my good man.
BOYETAn I cannot, cannot, cannot,
An I cannot, another can.
COSTARDBy my troth, most pleasant: how both did fit it!
MARIAA mark marvellous well shot, for they both did hit it.
BOYETAct 4 Sc 1 Ln 140A mark! O, mark but that mark! A mark, says my lady!
Let the mark have a prick in't, to mete at, if it may be.
MARIAWide o' the bow hand! i' faith, your hand is out.
COSTARDIndeed, a' must shoot nearer, or he'll ne'er hit the clout.
BOYETAn if my hand be out, then belike your hand is in.
COSTARDAct 4 Sc 1 Ln 145Then will she get the upshoot by cleaving the pin.
MARIACome, come, you talk greasily; your lips grow foul.
COSTARDShe's too hard for you at pricks, sir: challenge her to bowl.
BOYETI fear too much rubbing. Good night, my good owl.
COSTARDBy my soul, a swain! a most simple clown!
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 150Lord, Lord, how the ladies and I have put him down!
O' my troth, most sweet jests! most incony
vulgar wit!
When it comes so smoothly off, so obscenely, as it
were, so fit.
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 155Armado o' th' one side, — O, a most dainty man!
To see him walk before a lady and to bear her fan!
To see him kiss his hand! and how most sweetly a'
will swear!
And his page o' t' other side, that handful of wit!
Act 4 Sc 1 Ln 160Ah, heavens, it is a most pathetical nit!
Sola, sola!

ACT IV

SCENE II. The same.

SIR NATHANIELVery reverend sport, truly; and done in the testimony
of a good conscience.
HOLOFERNESThe deer was, as you know, sanguis, in blood; ripe
as the pomewater, who now hangeth like a jewel in
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 5the ear of caelo, the sky, the welkin, the heaven;
and anon falleth like a crab on the face of terra,
the soil, the land, the earth.
SIR NATHANIELTruly, Master Holofernes, the epithets are sweetly
varied, like a scholar at the least: but, sir, I
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 10assure ye, it was a buck of the first head.
HOLOFERNESSir Nathaniel, haud credo.
DULL'Twas not a haud credo; 'twas a pricket.
HOLOFERNESMost barbarous intimation! yet a kind of
insinuation, as it were, in via, in way, of
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 15explication; facere, as it were, replication, or
rather, ostentare, to show, as it were, his
inclination, after his undressed, unpolished,
uneducated, unpruned, untrained, or rather,
unlettered, or ratherest, unconfirmed fashion, to
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 20insert again my haud credo for a deer.
DULLI said the deer was not a haud credo; twas a pricket.
HOLOFERNESTwice-sod simplicity, his coctus!
O thou monster Ignorance, how deformed dost thou look!
SIR NATHANIELSir, he hath never fed of the dainties that are bred
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 25in a book; he hath not eat paper, as it were; he
hath not drunk ink: his intellect is not
replenished; he is only an animal, only sensible in
the duller parts:
And such barren plants are set before us, that we
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 30thankful should be,
Which we of taste and feeling are, for those parts that
do fructify in us more than he.
For as it would ill become me to be vain, indiscreet, or a fool,
So were there a patch set on learning, to see him in a school:
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 35But omne bene, say I; being of an old father's mind,
Many can brook the weather that love not the wind.
DULLYou two are book-men: can you tell me by your wit
What was a month old at Cain's birth, that's not five
weeks old as yet?
HOLOFERNESAct 4 Sc 2 Ln 40Dictynna, goodman Dull; Dictynna, goodman Dull.
DULLWhat is Dictynna?
SIR NATHANIELA title to Phoebe, to Luna, to the moon.
HOLOFERNESThe moon was a month old when Adam was no more,
And raught not to five weeks when he came to
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 45five-score.
The allusion holds in the exchange.
DULL'Tis true indeed; the collusion holds in the exchange.
HOLOFERNESGod comfort thy capacity! I say, the allusion holds
in the exchange.
DULLAct 4 Sc 2 Ln 50And I say, the pollusion holds in the exchange; for
the moon is never but a month old: and I say beside
that, 'twas a pricket that the princess killed.
HOLOFERNESSir Nathaniel, will you hear an extemporal epitaph
on the death of the deer? And, to humour the
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 55ignorant, call I the deer the princess killed a pricket.
SIR NATHANIELPerge, good Master Holofernes, perge; so it shall
please you to abrogate scurrility.
HOLOFERNESI will something affect the letter, for it argues facility.
The preyful princess pierced and prick'd a pretty
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 60pleasing pricket;
Some say a sore; but not a sore, till now made
sore with shooting.
The dogs did yell: put L to sore, then sorel jumps
from thicket;
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 65Or pricket sore, or else sorel; the people fall a-hooting.
If sore be sore, then L to sore makes fifty sores
one sorel.
Of one sore I an hundred make by adding but one more L.
SIR NATHANIELA rare talent!
DULLAct 4 Sc 2 Ln 70 If a talent be a claw, look how he claws
him with a talent.
HOLOFERNESThis is a gift that I have, simple, simple; a
foolish extravagant spirit, full of forms, figures,
shapes, objects, ideas, apprehensions, motions,
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 75revolutions: these are begot in the ventricle of
memory, nourished in the womb of pia mater, and
delivered upon the mellowing of occasion. But the
gift is good in those in whom it is acute, and I am
thankful for it.
SIR NATHANIELAct 4 Sc 2 Ln 80Sir, I praise the Lord for you; and so may my
parishioners; for their sons are well tutored by
you, and their daughters profit very greatly under
you: you are a good member of the commonwealth.
HOLOFERNESMehercle, if their sons be ingenuous, they shall
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 85want no instruction; if their daughters be capable,
I will put it to them: but vir sapit qui pauca
loquitur; a soul feminine saluteth us.
JAQUENETTAGod give you good morrow, master Parson.
HOLOFERNESMaster Parson, quasi pers-on. An if one should be
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 90pierced, which is the one?
COSTARDMarry, master schoolmaster, he that is likest to a hogshead.
HOLOFERNESPiercing a hogshead! a good lustre of conceit in a
tuft of earth; fire enough for a flint, pearl enough
for a swine: 'tis pretty; it is well.
JAQUENETTAAct 4 Sc 2 Ln 95Good master Parson, be so good as read me this
letter: it was given me by Costard, and sent me
from Don Armado: I beseech you, read it.
HOLOFERNESFauste, precor gelida quando pecus omne sub umbra
Ruminat, — and so forth. Ah, good old Mantuan! I
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 100may speak of thee as the traveller doth of Venice;
Venetia, Venetia,
Chi non ti vede non ti pretia.
Old Mantuan, old Mantuan! who understandeth thee
not, loves thee not. Ut, re, sol, la, mi, fa.
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 105Under pardon, sir, what are the contents? or rather,
as Horace says in his — What, my soul, verses?
SIR NATHANIELAy, sir, and very learned.
HOLOFERNESLet me hear a staff, a stanze, a verse; lege, domine.
SIR NATHANIEL(STAGEDIR "Reads")
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 110If love make me forsworn, how shall I swear to love?
Ah, never faith could hold, if not to beauty vow'd!
Though to myself forsworn, to thee I'll faithful prove:
Those thoughts to me were oaks, to thee like
osiers bow'd.
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 115Study his bias leaves and makes his book thine eyes,
Where all those pleasures live that art would
comprehend:
If knowledge be the mark, to know thee shall suffice;
Well learned is that tongue that well can thee commend,
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 120All ignorant that soul that sees thee without wonder;
Which is to me some praise that I thy parts admire:
Thy eye Jove's lightning bears, thy voice his dreadful thunder,
Which not to anger bent, is music and sweet fire.
Celestial as thou art, O, pardon, love, this wrong,
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 125That sings heaven's praise with such an earthly tongue.
HOLOFERNESYou find not the apostraphas, and so miss the
accent: let me supervise the canzonet. Here are
only numbers ratified; but, for the elegancy,
facility, and golden cadence of poesy, caret.
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 130Ovidius Naso was the man: and why, indeed, Naso,
but for smelling out the odouriferous flowers of
fancy, the jerks of invention? Imitari is nothing:
so doth the hound his master, the ape his keeper,
the tired horse his rider. But, damosella virgin,
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 135was this directed to you?
JAQUENETTAAy, sir, from one Monsieur Biron, one of the strange
queen's lords.
HOLOFERNESI will overglance the superscript: 'To the
snow-white hand of the most beauteous Lady
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 140Rosaline.' I will look again on the intellect of
the letter, for the nomination of the party writing
to the person written unto: 'Your ladyship's in all
desired employment, BIRON.' Sir Nathaniel, this
Biron is one of the votaries with the king; and here
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 145he hath framed a letter to a sequent of the stranger
queen's, which accidentally, or by the way of
progression, hath miscarried. Trip and go, my
sweet; deliver this paper into the royal hand of the
king: it may concern much. Stay not thy
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 150compliment; I forgive thy duty; adieu.
JAQUENETTAGood Costard, go with me. Sir, God save your life!
COSTARDHave with thee, my girl.
SIR NATHANIELSir, you have done this in the fear of God, very
religiously; and, as a certain father saith, —
HOLOFERNESAct 4 Sc 2 Ln 155Sir tell me not of the father; I do fear colourable
colours. But to return to the verses: did they
please you, Sir Nathaniel?
SIR NATHANIELMarvellous well for the pen.
HOLOFERNESI do dine to-day at the father's of a certain pupil
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 160of mine; where, if, before repast, it shall please
you to gratify the table with a grace, I will, on my
privilege I have with the parents of the foresaid
child or pupil, undertake your ben venuto; where I
will prove those verses to be very unlearned,
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 165neither savouring of poetry, wit, nor invention: I
beseech your society.
SIR NATHANIELAnd thank you too; for society, saith the text, is
the happiness of life.
HOLOFERNESAnd, certes, the text most infallibly concludes it.
Act 4 Sc 2 Ln 170Sir, I do invite you too; you shall not
say me nay: pauca verba. Away! the gentles are at
their game, and we will to our recreation.

ACT IV

SCENE III. The same.

BIRONThe king he is hunting the deer; I am coursing
myself: they have pitched a toil; I am toiling in
a pitch, — pitch that defiles: defile! a foul
word. Well, set thee down, sorrow! for so they say
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 5the fool said, and so say I, and I the fool: well
proved, wit! By the Lord, this love is as mad as
Ajax: it kills sheep; it kills me, I a sheep:
well proved again o' my side! I will not love: if
I do, hang me; i' faith, I will not. O, but her
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 10eye, — by this light, but for her eye, I would not
love her; yes, for her two eyes. Well, I do nothing
in the world but lie, and lie in my throat. By
heaven, I do love: and it hath taught me to rhyme
and to be melancholy; and here is part of my rhyme,
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 15and here my melancholy. Well, she hath one o' my
sonnets already: the clown bore it, the fool sent
it, and the lady hath it: sweet clown, sweeter
fool, sweetest lady! By the world, I would not care
a pin, if the other three were in. Here comes one
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 20with a paper: God give him grace to groan!
FERDINANDAy me!
BIRON Shot, by heaven! Proceed, sweet Cupid:
thou hast thumped him with thy bird-bolt under the
left pap. In faith, secrets!
FERDINANDAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 25(STAGEDIR "Reads")
So sweet a kiss the golden sun gives not
To those fresh morning drops upon the rose,
As thy eye-beams, when their fresh rays have smote
The night of dew that on my cheeks down flows:
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 30Nor shines the silver moon one half so bright
Through the transparent bosom of the deep,
As doth thy face through tears of mine give light;
Thou shinest in every tear that I do weep:
No drop but as a coach doth carry thee;
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 35So ridest thou triumphing in my woe.
Do but behold the tears that swell in me,
And they thy glory through my grief will show:
But do not love thyself; then thou wilt keep
My tears for glasses, and still make me weep.
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 40O queen of queens! how far dost thou excel,
No thought can think, nor tongue of mortal tell.
How shall she know my griefs? I'll drop the paper:
Sweet leaves, shade folly. Who is he comes here?
What, Longaville! and reading! listen, ear.
BIRONAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 45Now, in thy likeness, one more fool appear!
LONGAVILLEAy me, I am forsworn!
BIRONWhy, he comes in like a perjure, wearing papers.
FERDINANDIn love, I hope: sweet fellowship in shame!
BIRONOne drunkard loves another of the name.
LONGAVILLEAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 50Am I the first that have been perjured so?
BIRONI could put thee in comfort. Not by two that I know:
Thou makest the triumviry, the corner-cap of society,
The shape of Love's Tyburn that hangs up simplicity.
LONGAVILLEI fear these stubborn lines lack power to move:
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 55O sweet Maria, empress of my love!
These numbers will I tear, and write in prose.
BIRONO, rhymes are guards on wanton Cupid's hose:
Disfigure not his slop.
LONGAVILLEThis same shall go.
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 60Did not the heavenly rhetoric of thine eye,
'Gainst whom the world cannot hold argument,
Persuade my heart to this false perjury?
Vows for thee broke deserve not punishment.
A woman I forswore; but I will prove,
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 65Thou being a goddess, I forswore not thee:
My vow was earthly, thou a heavenly love;
Thy grace being gain'd cures all disgrace in me.
Vows are but breath, and breath a vapour is:
Then thou, fair sun, which on my earth dost shine,
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 70Exhalest this vapour-vow; in thee it is:
If broken then, it is no fault of mine:
If by me broke, what fool is not so wise
To lose an oath to win a paradise?
BIRONThis is the liver-vein, which makes flesh a deity,
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 75A green goose a goddess: pure, pure idolatry.
God amend us, God amend! we are much out o' the way.
LONGAVILLEBy whom shall I send this? — Company! stay.
BIRONAll hid, all hid; an old infant play.
Like a demigod here sit I in the sky.
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 80And wretched fools' secrets heedfully o'ereye.
More sacks to the mill! O heavens, I have my wish!
Dumain transform'd! four woodcocks in a dish!
DUMAINO most divine Kate!
BIRONO most profane coxcomb!
DUMAINAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 85By heaven, the wonder in a mortal eye!
BIRONBy earth, she is not, corporal, there you lie.
DUMAINHer amber hair for foul hath amber quoted.
BIRONAn amber-colour'd raven was well noted.
DUMAINAs upright as the cedar.
BIRONAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 90Stoop, I say;
Her shoulder is with child.
DUMAINAs fair as day.
BIRONAy, as some days; but then no sun must shine.
DUMAINO that I had my wish!
LONGAVILLEAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 95And I had mine!
FERDINANDAnd I mine too, good Lord!
BIRONAmen, so I had mine: is not that a good word?
DUMAINI would forget her; but a fever she
Reigns in my blood and will remember'd be.
BIRONAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 100A fever in your blood! why, then incision
Would let her out in saucers: sweet misprision!
DUMAINOnce more I'll read the ode that I have writ.
BIRONOnce more I'll mark how love can vary wit.
DUMAIN(STAGEDIR "Reads")
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 105On a day — alack the day! —
Love, whose month is ever May,
Spied a blossom passing fair
Playing in the wanton air:
Through the velvet leaves the wind,
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 110All unseen, can passage find;
That the lover, sick to death,
Wish himself the heaven's breath.
Air, quoth he, thy cheeks may blow;
Air, would I might triumph so!
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 115But, alack, my hand is sworn
Ne'er to pluck thee from thy thorn;
Vow, alack, for youth unmeet,
Youth so apt to pluck a sweet!
Do not call it sin in me,
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 120That I am forsworn for thee;
Thou for whom Jove would swear
Juno but an Ethiope were;
And deny himself for Jove,
Turning mortal for thy love.
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 125This will I send, and something else more plain,
That shall express my true love's fasting pain.
O, would the king, Biron, and Longaville,
Were lovers too! Ill, to example ill,
Would from my forehead wipe a perjured note;
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 130For none offend where all alike do dote.
LONGAVILLE Dumain, thy love is far from charity.
You may look pale, but I should blush, I know,
To be o'erheard and taken napping so.
FERDINAND Come, sir, you blush; as his your case is such;
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 135You chide at him, offending twice as much;
You do not love Maria; Longaville
Did never sonnet for her sake compile,
Nor never lay his wreathed arms athwart
His loving bosom to keep down his heart.
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 140I have been closely shrouded in this bush
And mark'd you both and for you both did blush:
I heard your guilty rhymes, observed your fashion,
Saw sighs reek from you, noted well your passion:
Ay me! says one; O Jove! the other cries;
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 145One, her hairs were gold, crystal the other's eyes:
You would for paradise break faith, and troth;
And Jove, for your love, would infringe an oath.
What will Biron say when that he shall hear
Faith so infringed, which such zeal did swear?
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 150How will he scorn! how will he spend his wit!
How will he triumph, leap and laugh at it!
For all the wealth that ever I did see,
I would not have him know so much by me.
BIRONNow step I forth to whip hypocrisy.
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 155Ah, good my liege, I pray thee, pardon me!
Good heart, what grace hast thou, thus to reprove
These worms for loving, that art most in love?
Your eyes do make no coaches; in your tears
There is no certain princess that appears;
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 160You'll not be perjured, 'tis a hateful thing;
Tush, none but minstrels like of sonneting!
But are you not ashamed? nay, are you not,
All three of you, to be thus much o'ershot?
You found his mote; the king your mote did see;
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 165But I a beam do find in each of three.
O, what a scene of foolery have I seen,
Of sighs, of groans, of sorrow and of teen!
O me, with what strict patience have I sat,
To see a king transformed to a gnat!
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 170To see great Hercules whipping a gig,
And profound Solomon to tune a jig,
And Nestor play at push-pin with the boys,
And critic Timon laugh at idle toys!
Where lies thy grief, O, tell me, good Dumain?
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 175And gentle Longaville, where lies thy pain?
And where my liege's? all about the breast:
A caudle, ho!
FERDINANDToo bitter is thy jest.
Are we betray'd thus to thy over-view?
BIRONAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 180Not you to me, but I betray'd by you:
I, that am honest; I, that hold it sin
To break the vow I am engaged in;
I am betray'd, by keeping company
With men like men of inconstancy.
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 185When shall you see me write a thing in rhyme?
Or groan for love? or spend a minute's time
In pruning me? When shall you hear that I
Will praise a hand, a foot, a face, an eye,
A gait, a state, a brow, a breast, a waist,
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 190A leg, a limb?
FERDINANDSoft! whither away so fast?
A true man or a thief that gallops so?
BIRONI post from love: good lover, let me go.
JAQUENETTAGod bless the king!
FERDINANDAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 195What present hast thou there?
COSTARDSome certain treason.
FERDINANDWhat makes treason here?
COSTARDNay, it makes nothing, sir.
FERDINANDIf it mar nothing neither,
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 200The treason and you go in peace away together.
JAQUENETTAI beseech your grace, let this letter be read:
Our parson misdoubts it; 'twas treason, he said.
FERDINANDBiron, read it over.
Where hadst thou it?
JAQUENETTAAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 205Of Costard.
FERDINANDWhere hadst thou it?
COSTARDOf Dun Adramadio, Dun Adramadio.
FERDINANDHow now! what is in you? why dost thou tear it?
BIRONA toy, my liege, a toy: your grace needs not fear it.
LONGAVILLEAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 210It did move him to passion, and therefore let's hear it.
DUMAINIt is Biron's writing, and here is his name.
BIRON Ah, you whoreson loggerhead! you were
born to do me shame.
Guilty, my lord, guilty! I confess, I confess.
FERDINANDAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 215What?
BIRONThat you three fools lack'd me fool to make up the mess:
He, he, and you, and you, my liege, and I,
Are pick-purses in love, and we deserve to die.
O, dismiss this audience, and I shall tell you more.
DUMAINAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 220Now the number is even.
BIRONTrue, true; we are four.
Will these turtles be gone?
FERDINANDHence, sirs; away!
COSTARDWalk aside the true folk, and let the traitors stay.
BIRONAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 225Sweet lords, sweet lovers, O, let us embrace!
As true we are as flesh and blood can be:
The sea will ebb and flow, heaven show his face;
Young blood doth not obey an old decree:
We cannot cross the cause why we were born;
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 230Therefore of all hands must we be forsworn.
FERDINANDWhat, did these rent lines show some love of thine?
BIRONDid they, quoth you? Who sees the heavenly Rosaline,
That, like a rude and savage man of Inde,
At the first opening of the gorgeous east,
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 235Bows not his vassal head and strucken blind
Kisses the base ground with obedient breast?
What peremptory eagle-sighted eye
Dares look upon the heaven of her brow,
That is not blinded by her majesty?
FERDINANDAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 240What zeal, what fury hath inspired thee now?
My love, her mistress, is a gracious moon;
She an attending star, scarce seen a light.
BIRONMy eyes are then no eyes, nor I Biron:
O, but for my love, day would turn to night!
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 245Of all complexions the cull'd sovereignty
Do meet, as at a fair, in her fair cheek,
Where several worthies make one dignity,
Where nothing wants that want itself doth seek.
Lend me the flourish of all gentle tongues, —
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 250Fie, painted rhetoric! O, she needs it not:
To things of sale a seller's praise belongs,
She passes praise; then praise too short doth blot.
A wither'd hermit, five-score winters worn,
Might shake off fifty, looking in her eye:
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 255Beauty doth varnish age, as if new-born,
And gives the crutch the cradle's infancy:
O, 'tis the sun that maketh all things shine.
FERDINANDBy heaven, thy love is black as ebony.
BIRONIs ebony like her? O wood divine!
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 260A wife of such wood were felicity.
O, who can give an oath? where is a book?
That I may swear beauty doth beauty lack,
If that she learn not of her eye to look:
No face is fair that is not full so black.
FERDINANDAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 265O paradox! Black is the badge of hell,
The hue of dungeons and the suit of night;
And beauty's crest becomes the heavens well.
BIRONDevils soonest tempt, resembling spirits of light.
O, if in black my lady's brows be deck'd,
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 270It mourns that painting and usurping hair
Should ravish doters with a false aspect;
And therefore is she born to make black fair.
Her favour turns the fashion of the days,
For native blood is counted painting now;
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 275And therefore red, that would avoid dispraise,
Paints itself black, to imitate her brow.
DUMAINTo look like her are chimney-sweepers black.
LONGAVILLEAnd since her time are colliers counted bright.
FERDINANDAnd Ethiopes of their sweet complexion crack.
DUMAINAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 280Dark needs no candles now, for dark is light.
BIRONYour mistresses dare never come in rain,
For fear their colours should be wash'd away.
FERDINAND'Twere good, yours did; for, sir, to tell you plain,
I'll find a fairer face not wash'd to-day.
BIRONAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 285I'll prove her fair, or talk till doomsday here.
FERDINANDNo devil will fright thee then so much as she.
DUMAINI never knew man hold vile stuff so dear.
LONGAVILLELook, here's thy love: my foot and her face see.
BIRONO, if the streets were paved with thine eyes,
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 290Her feet were much too dainty for such tread!
DUMAINO, vile! then, as she goes, what upward lies
The street should see as she walk'd overhead.
FERDINANDBut what of this? are we not all in love?
BIRONNothing so sure; and thereby all forsworn.
FERDINANDAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 295Then leave this chat; and, good Biron, now prove
Our loving lawful, and our faith not torn.
DUMAINAy, marry, there; some flattery for this evil.
LONGAVILLEO, some authority how to proceed;
Some tricks, some quillets, how to cheat the devil.
DUMAINAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 300Some salve for perjury.
BIRON'Tis more than need.
Have at you, then, affection's men at arms.
Consider what you first did swear unto,
To fast, to study, and to see no woman;
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 305Flat treason 'gainst the kingly state of youth.
Say, can you fast? your stomachs are too young;
And abstinence engenders maladies.
And where that you have vow'd to study, lords,
In that each of you have forsworn his book,
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 310Can you still dream and pore and thereon look?
For when would you, my lord, or you, or you,
Have found the ground of study's excellence
Without the beauty of a woman's face?
Why, universal plodding poisons up
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 315The nimble spirits in the arteries,
As motion and long-during action tires
The sinewy vigour of the traveller.
Now, for not looking on a woman's face,
You have in that forsworn the use of eyes
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 320And study too, the causer of your vow;
For where is any author in the world
Teaches such beauty as a woman's eye?
Learning is but an adjunct to ourself
And where we are our learning likewise is:
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 325Then when ourselves we see in ladies' eyes,
Do we not likewise see our learning there?
O, we have made a vow to study, lords,
And in that vow we have forsworn our books.
For when would you, my liege, or you, or you,
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 330In leaden contemplation have found out
Such fiery numbers as the prompting eyes
Of beauty's tutors have enrich'd you with?
Other slow arts entirely keep the brain;
And therefore, finding barren practisers,
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 335Scarce show a harvest of their heavy toil:
But love, first learned in a lady's eyes,
Lives not alone immured in the brain;
But, with the motion of all elements,
Courses as swift as thought in every power,
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 340And gives to every power a double power,
Above their functions and their offices.
It adds a precious seeing to the eye;
A lover's eyes will gaze an eagle blind;
A lover's ear will hear the lowest sound,
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 345When the suspicious head of theft is stopp'd:
Love's feeling is more soft and sensible
Than are the tender horns of cockl'd snails;
Love's tongue proves dainty Bacchus gross in taste:
For valour, is not Love a Hercules,
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 350Still climbing trees in the Hesperides?
Subtle as Sphinx; as sweet and musical
As bright Apollo's lute, strung with his hair:
And when Love speaks, the voice of all the gods
Makes heaven drowsy with the harmony.
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 355Never durst poet touch a pen to write
Until his ink were temper'd with Love's sighs;
O, then his lines would ravish savage ears
And plant in tyrants mild humility.
From women's eyes this doctrine I derive:
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 360They sparkle still the right Promethean fire;
They are the books, the arts, the academes,
That show, contain and nourish all the world:
Else none at all in ought proves excellent.
Then fools you were these women to forswear,
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 365Or keeping what is sworn, you will prove fools.
For wisdom's sake, a word that all men love,
Or for love's sake, a word that loves all men,
Or for men's sake, the authors of these women,
Or women's sake, by whom we men are men,
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 370Let us once lose our oaths to find ourselves,
Or else we lose ourselves to keep our oaths.
It is religion to be thus forsworn,
For charity itself fulfills the law,
And who can sever love from charity?
FERDINANDAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 375Saint Cupid, then! and, soldiers, to the field!
BIRONAdvance your standards, and upon them, lords;
Pell-mell, down with them! but be first advised,
In conflict that you get the sun of them.
LONGAVILLENow to plain-dealing; lay these glozes by:
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 380Shall we resolve to woo these girls of France?
FERDINANDAnd win them too: therefore let us devise
Some entertainment for them in their tents.
BIRONFirst, from the park let us conduct them thither;
Then homeward every man attach the hand
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 385Of his fair mistress: in the afternoon
We will with some strange pastime solace them,
Such as the shortness of the time can shape;
For revels, dances, masks and merry hours
Forerun fair Love, strewing her way with flowers.
FERDINANDAct 4 Sc 3 Ln 390Away, away! no time shall be omitted
That will betime, and may by us be fitted.
BIRONAllons! allons! Sow'd cockle reap'd no corn;
And justice always whirls in equal measure:
Light wenches may prove plagues to men forsworn;
Act 4 Sc 3 Ln 395If so, our copper buys no better treasure.

ACT V

SCENE I. The same.

HOLOFERNESSatis quod sufficit.
SIR NATHANIELI praise God for you, sir: your reasons at dinner
have been sharp and sententious; pleasant without
scurrility, witty without affection, audacious without
Act 5 Sc 1 Ln 5impudency, learned without opinion, and strange with-
out heresy. I did converse this quondam day with
a companion of the king's, who is intituled, nomi-
nated, or called, Don Adriano de Armado.
HOLOFERNESNovi hominem tanquam te: his humour is lofty, his
Act 5 Sc 1 Ln 10discourse peremptory, his tongue filed, his eye
ambitious, his gait majestical, and his general
behavior vain, ridiculous, and thrasonical. He is
too picked, too spruce, too affected, too odd, as it
were, too peregrinate, as I may call it.
SIR NATHANIELAct 5 Sc 1 Ln 15A most singular and choice epithet.
HOLOFERNESHe draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer
than the staple of his argument. I abhor such
fanatical phantasimes, such insociable and
point-devise companions; such rackers of
Act 5 Sc 1 Ln 20orthography, as to speak dout, fine, when he should
say doubt; det, when he should pronounce debt, — d,
e, b, t, not d, e, t: he clepeth a calf, cauf;
half, hauf; neighbour vocatur nebor; neigh
abbreviated ne. This is abhominable, — which he
Act 5 Sc 1 Ln 25would call abbominable: it insinuateth me of
insanie: anne intelligis, domine? to make frantic, lunatic.
SIR NATHANIELLaus Deo, bene intelligo.
HOLOFERNESBon, bon, fort bon, Priscian! a little scratch'd,
'twill serve.
SIR NATHANIELAct 5 Sc 1 Ln 30Videsne quis venit?
HOLOFERNESVideo, et gaudeo.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOChirrah!
HOLOFERNESQuare chirrah, not sirrah?
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOMen of peace, well encountered.
HOLOFERNESAct 5 Sc 1 Ln 35Most military sir, salutation.
MOTH They have been at a great feast
of languages, and stolen the scraps.
COSTARDO, they have lived long on the alms-basket of words.
I marvel thy master hath not eaten thee for a word;
Act 5 Sc 1 Ln 40for thou art not so long by the head as
honorificabilitudinitatibus: thou art easier
swallowed than a flap-dragon.
MOTHPeace! the peal begins.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO Monsieur, are you not lettered?
MOTHAct 5 Sc 1 Ln 45Yes, yes; he teaches boys the hornbook. What is a,
b, spelt backward, with the horn on his head?
HOLOFERNESBa, pueritia, with a horn added.
MOTHBa, most silly sheep with a horn. You hear his learning.
HOLOFERNESQuis, quis, thou consonant?
MOTHAct 5 Sc 1 Ln 50The third of the five vowels, if you repeat them; or
the fifth, if I.
HOLOFERNESI will repeat them, — a, e, i, —
MOTHThe sheep: the other two concludes it, — o, u.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADONow, by the salt wave of the Mediterraneum, a sweet
Act 5 Sc 1 Ln 55touch, a quick venue of wit! snip, snap, quick and
home! it rejoiceth my intellect: true wit!
MOTHOffered by a child to an old man; which is wit-old.
HOLOFERNESWhat is the figure? what is the figure?
MOTHHorns.
HOLOFERNESAct 5 Sc 1 Ln 60Thou disputest like an infant: go, whip thy gig.
MOTHLend me your horn to make one, and I will whip about
your infamy circum circa, — a gig of a cuckold's horn.
COSTARDAn I had but one penny in the world, thou shouldst
have it to buy gingerbread: hold, there is the very
Act 5 Sc 1 Ln 65remuneration I had of thy master, thou halfpenny
purse of wit, thou pigeon-egg of discretion. O, an
the heavens were so pleased that thou wert but my
bastard, what a joyful father wouldst thou make me!
Go to; thou hast it ad dunghill, at the fingers'
Act 5 Sc 1 Ln 70ends, as they say.
HOLOFERNESO, I smell false Latin; dunghill for unguem.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOArts-man, preambulate, we will be singled from the
barbarous. Do you not educate youth at the
charge-house on the top of the mountain?
HOLOFERNESAct 5 Sc 1 Ln 75Or mons, the hill.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOAt your sweet pleasure, for the mountain.
HOLOFERNESI do, sans question.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOSir, it is the king's most sweet pleasure and
affection to congratulate the princess at her
Act 5 Sc 1 Ln 80pavilion in the posteriors of this day, which the
rude multitude call the afternoon.
HOLOFERNESThe posterior of the day, most generous sir, is
liable, congruent and measurable for the afternoon:
the word is well culled, chose, sweet and apt, I do
Act 5 Sc 1 Ln 85assure you, sir, I do assure.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOSir, the king is a noble gentleman, and my familiar,
I do assure ye, very good friend: for what is
inward between us, let it pass. I do beseech thee,
remember thy courtesy; I beseech thee, apparel thy
Act 5 Sc 1 Ln 90head: and among other important and most serious
designs, and of great import indeed, too, but let
that pass: for I must tell thee, it will please his
grace, by the world, sometime to lean upon my poor
shoulder, and with his royal finger, thus, dally
Act 5 Sc 1 Ln 95with my excrement, with my mustachio; but, sweet
heart, let that pass. By the world, I recount no
fable: some certain special honours it pleaseth his
greatness to impart to Armado, a soldier, a man of
travel, that hath seen the world; but let that pass.
Act 5 Sc 1 Ln 100The very all of all is, — but, sweet heart, I do
implore secrecy, — that the king would have me
present the princess, sweet chuck, with some
delightful ostentation, or show, or pageant, or
antique, or firework. Now, understanding that the
Act 5 Sc 1 Ln 105curate and your sweet self are good at such
eruptions and sudden breaking out of mirth, as it
were, I have acquainted you withal, to the end to
crave your assistance.
HOLOFERNESSir, you shall present before her the Nine Worthies.
Act 5 Sc 1 Ln 110Sir, as concerning some entertainment of time, some
show in the posterior of this day, to be rendered by
our assistants, at the king's command, and this most
gallant, illustrate, and learned gentleman, before
the princess; I say none so fit as to present the
Act 5 Sc 1 Ln 115Nine Worthies.
SIR NATHANIELWhere will you find men worthy enough to present them?
HOLOFERNESJoshua, yourself; myself and this gallant gentleman,
Judas Maccabaeus; this swain, because of his great
limb or joint, shall pass Pompey the Great; the
Act 5 Sc 1 Ln 120page, Hercules, —
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOPardon, sir; error: he is not quantity enough for
that Worthy's thumb: he is not so big as the end of his club.
HOLOFERNESShall I have audience? he shall present Hercules in
minority: his enter and exit shall be strangling a
Act 5 Sc 1 Ln 125snake; and I will have an apology for that purpose.
MOTHAn excellent device! so, if any of the audience
hiss, you may cry 'Well done, Hercules! now thou
crushest the snake!' that is the way to make an
offence gracious, though few have the grace to do it.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOAct 5 Sc 1 Ln 130For the rest of the Worthies? —
HOLOFERNESI will play three myself.
MOTHThrice-worthy gentleman!
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOShall I tell you a thing?
HOLOFERNESWe attend.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOAct 5 Sc 1 Ln 135We will have, if this fadge not, an antique. I
beseech you, follow.
HOLOFERNESVia, goodman Dull! thou hast spoken no word all this while.
DULLNor understood none neither, sir.
HOLOFERNESAllons! we will employ thee.
DULLAct 5 Sc 1 Ln 140I'll make one in a dance, or so; or I will play
On the tabour to the Worthies, and let them dance the hay.
HOLOFERNESMost dull, honest Dull! To our sport, away!

ACT V

SCENE II. The same.

PRINCESSSweet hearts, we shall be rich ere we depart,
If fairings come thus plentifully in:
A lady wall'd about with diamonds!
Look you what I have from the loving king.
ROSALINEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 5Madame, came nothing else along with that?
PRINCESSNothing but this! yes, as much love in rhyme
As would be cramm'd up in a sheet of paper,
Writ o' both sides the leaf, margent and all,
That he was fain to seal on Cupid's name.
ROSALINEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 10That was the way to make his godhead wax,
For he hath been five thousand years a boy.
KATHARINEAy, and a shrewd unhappy gallows too.
ROSALINEYou'll ne'er be friends with him; a' kill'd your sister.
KATHARINEHe made her melancholy, sad, and heavy;
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 15And so she died: had she been light, like you,
Of such a merry, nimble, stirring spirit,
She might ha' been a grandam ere she died:
And so may you; for a light heart lives long.
ROSALINEWhat's your dark meaning, mouse, of this light word?
KATHARINEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 20A light condition in a beauty dark.
ROSALINEWe need more light to find your meaning out.
KATHARINEYou'll mar the light by taking it in snuff;
Therefore I'll darkly end the argument.
ROSALINELook what you do, you do it still i' the dark.
KATHARINEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 25So do not you, for you are a light wench.
ROSALINEIndeed I weigh not you, and therefore light.
KATHARINEYou weigh me not? O, that's you care not for me.
ROSALINEGreat reason; for 'past cure is still past care.'
PRINCESSWell bandied both; a set of wit well play'd.
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 30But Rosaline, you have a favour too:
Who sent it? and what is it?
ROSALINEI would you knew:
An if my face were but as fair as yours,
My favour were as great; be witness this.
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 35Nay, I have verses too, I thank Biron:
The numbers true; and, were the numbering too,
I were the fairest goddess on the ground:
I am compared to twenty thousand fairs.
O, he hath drawn my picture in his letter!
PRINCESSAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 40Any thing like?
ROSALINEMuch in the letters; nothing in the praise.
PRINCESSBeauteous as ink; a good conclusion.
KATHARINEFair as a text B in a copy-book.
ROSALINE'Ware pencils, ho! let me not die your debtor,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 45My red dominical, my golden letter:
O, that your face were not so full of O's!
KATHARINEA pox of that jest! and I beshrew all shrows.
PRINCESSBut, Katharine, what was sent to you from fair Dumain?
KATHARINEMadam, this glove.
PRINCESSAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 50Did he not send you twain?
KATHARINEYes, madam, and moreover
Some thousand verses of a faithful lover,
A huge translation of hypocrisy,
Vilely compiled, profound simplicity.
MARIAAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 55This and these pearls to me sent Longaville:
The letter is too long by half a mile.
PRINCESSI think no less. Dost thou not wish in heart
The chain were longer and the letter short?
MARIAAy, or I would these hands might never part.
PRINCESSAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 60We are wise girls to mock our lovers so.
ROSALINEThey are worse fools to purchase mocking so.
That same Biron I'll torture ere I go:
O that I knew he were but in by the week!
How I would make him fawn and beg and seek
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 65And wait the season and observe the times
And spend his prodigal wits in bootless rhymes
And shape his service wholly to my hests
And make him proud to make me proud that jests!
So perttaunt-like would I o'ersway his state
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 70That he should be my fool and I his fate.
PRINCESSNone are so surely caught, when they are catch'd,
As wit turn'd fool: folly, in wisdom hatch'd,
Hath wisdom's warrant and the help of school
And wit's own grace to grace a learned fool.
ROSALINEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 75The blood of youth burns not with such excess
As gravity's revolt to wantonness.
MARIAFolly in fools bears not so strong a note
As foolery in the wise, when wit doth dote;
Since all the power thereof it doth apply
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 80To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity.
PRINCESSHere comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face.
BOYETO, I am stabb'd with laughter! Where's her grace?
PRINCESSThy news Boyet?
BOYETPrepare, madam, prepare!
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 85Arm, wenches, arm! encounters mounted are
Against your peace: Love doth approach disguised,
Armed in arguments; you'll be surprised:
Muster your wits; stand in your own defence;
Or hide your heads like cowards, and fly hence.
PRINCESSAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 90Saint Denis to Saint Cupid! What are they
That charge their breath against us? say, scout, say.
BOYETUnder the cool shade of a sycamore
I thought to close mine eyes some half an hour;
When, lo! to interrupt my purposed rest,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 95Toward that shade I might behold addrest
The king and his companions: warily
I stole into a neighbour thicket by,
And overheard what you shall overhear,
That, by and by, disguised they will be here.
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 100Their herald is a pretty knavish page,
That well by heart hath conn'd his embassage:
Action and accent did they teach him there;
'Thus must thou speak,' and 'thus thy body bear:'
And ever and anon they made a doubt
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 105Presence majestical would put him out,
'For,' quoth the king, 'an angel shalt thou see;
Yet fear not thou, but speak audaciously.'
The boy replied, 'An angel is not evil;
I should have fear'd her had she been a devil.'
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 110With that, all laugh'd and clapp'd him on the shoulder,
Making the bold wag by their praises bolder:
One rubb'd his elbow thus, and fleer'd and swore
A better speech was never spoke before;
Another, with his finger and his thumb,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 115Cried, 'Via! we will do't, come what will come;'
The third he caper'd, and cried, 'All goes well;'
The fourth turn'd on the toe, and down he fell.
With that, they all did tumble on the ground,
With such a zealous laughter, so profound,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 120That in this spleen ridiculous appears,
To cheque their folly, passion's solemn tears.
PRINCESSBut what, but what, come they to visit us?
BOYETThey do, they do: and are apparell'd thus.
Like Muscovites or Russians, as I guess.
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 125Their purpose is to parle, to court and dance;
And every one his love-feat will advance
Unto his several mistress, which they'll know
By favours several which they did bestow.
PRINCESSAnd will they so? the gallants shall be task'd;
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 130For, ladies, we shall every one be mask'd;
And not a man of them shall have the grace,
Despite of suit, to see a lady's face.
Hold, Rosaline, this favour thou shalt wear,
And then the king will court thee for his dear;
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 135Hold, take thou this, my sweet, and give me thine,
So shall Biron take me for Rosaline.
And change your favours too; so shall your loves
Woo contrary, deceived by these removes.
ROSALINECome on, then; wear the favours most in sight.
KATHARINEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 140But in this changing what is your intent?
PRINCESSThe effect of my intent is to cross theirs:
They do it but in mocking merriment;
And mock for mock is only my intent.
Their several counsels they unbosom shall
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 145To loves mistook, and so be mock'd withal
Upon the next occasion that we meet,
With visages displayed, to talk and greet.
ROSALINEBut shall we dance, if they desire to't?
PRINCESSNo, to the death, we will not move a foot;
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 150Nor to their penn'd speech render we no grace,
But while 'tis spoke each turn away her face.
BOYETWhy, that contempt will kill the speaker's heart,
And quite divorce his memory from his part.
PRINCESSTherefore I do it; and I make no doubt
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 155The rest will ne'er come in, if he be out
There's no such sport as sport by sport o'erthrown,
To make theirs ours and ours none but our own:
So shall we stay, mocking intended game,
And they, well mock'd, depart away with shame.
BOYETAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 160The trumpet sounds: be mask'd; the maskers come.
MOTHAll hail, the richest beauties on the earth! —
BOYETBeauties no richer than rich taffeta.
MOTHA holy parcel of the fairest dames.
That ever turn'd their — backs — to mortal views!
BIRONAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 165 Their eyes, villain, their eyes!
MOTHThat ever turn'd their eyes to mortal views! — Out —
BOYETTrue; out indeed.
MOTHOut of your favours, heavenly spirits, vouchsafe
Not to behold —
BIRONAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 170 Once to behold, rogue.
MOTHOnce to behold with your sun-beamed eyes,
— with your sun-beamed eyes —
BOYETThey will not answer to that epithet;
You were best call it 'daughter-beamed eyes.'
MOTHAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 175They do not mark me, and that brings me out.
BIRONIs this your perfectness? be gone, you rogue!
ROSALINEWhat would these strangers? know their minds, Boyet:
If they do speak our language, 'tis our will:
That some plain man recount their purposes
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 180Know what they would.
BOYETWhat would you with the princess?
BIRONNothing but peace and gentle visitation.
ROSALINEWhat would they, say they?
BOYETNothing but peace and gentle visitation.
ROSALINEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 185Why, that they have; and bid them so be gone.
BOYETShe says, you have it, and you may be gone.
FERDINANDSay to her, we have measured many miles
To tread a measure with her on this grass.
BOYETThey say, that they have measured many a mile
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 190To tread a measure with you on this grass.
ROSALINEIt is not so. Ask them how many inches
Is in one mile: if they have measured many,
The measure then of one is easily told.
BOYETIf to come hither you have measured miles,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 195And many miles, the princess bids you tell
How many inches doth fill up one mile.
BIRONTell her, we measure them by weary steps.
BOYETShe hears herself.
ROSALINEHow many weary steps,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 200Of many weary miles you have o'ergone,
Are number'd in the travel of one mile?
BIRONWe number nothing that we spend for you:
Our duty is so rich, so infinite,
That we may do it still without accompt.
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 205Vouchsafe to show the sunshine of your face,
That we, like savages, may worship it.
ROSALINEMy face is but a moon, and clouded too.
FERDINANDBlessed are clouds, to do as such clouds do!
Vouchsafe, bright moon, and these thy stars, to shine,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 210Those clouds removed, upon our watery eyne.
ROSALINEO vain petitioner! beg a greater matter;
Thou now request'st but moonshine in the water.
FERDINANDThen, in our measure do but vouchsafe one change.
Thou bid'st me beg: this begging is not strange.
ROSALINEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 215Play, music, then! Nay, you must do it soon.
Not yet! no dance! Thus change I like the moon.
FERDINANDWill you not dance? How come you thus estranged?
ROSALINEYou took the moon at full, but now she's changed.
FERDINANDYet still she is the moon, and I the man.
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 220The music plays; vouchsafe some motion to it.
ROSALINEOur ears vouchsafe it.
FERDINANDBut your legs should do it.
ROSALINESince you are strangers and come here by chance,
We'll not be nice: take hands. We will not dance.
FERDINANDAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 225Why take we hands, then?
ROSALINEOnly to part friends:
Curtsy, sweet hearts; and so the measure ends.
FERDINANDMore measure of this measure; be not nice.
ROSALINEWe can afford no more at such a price.
FERDINANDAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 230Prize you yourselves: what buys your company?
ROSALINEYour absence only.
FERDINANDThat can never be.
ROSALINEThen cannot we be bought: and so, adieu;
Twice to your visor, and half once to you.
FERDINANDAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 235If you deny to dance, let's hold more chat.
ROSALINEIn private, then.
FERDINANDI am best pleased with that.
BIRONWhite-handed mistress, one sweet word with thee.
PRINCESSHoney, and milk, and sugar; there is three.
BIRONAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 240Nay then, two treys, and if you grow so nice,
Metheglin, wort, and malmsey: well run, dice!
There's half-a-dozen sweets.
PRINCESSSeventh sweet, adieu:
Since you can cog, I'll play no more with you.
BIRONAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 245One word in secret.
PRINCESSLet it not be sweet.
BIRONThou grievest my gall.
PRINCESSGall! bitter.
BIRONTherefore meet.
DUMAINAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 250Will you vouchsafe with me to change a word?
MARIAName it.
DUMAINFair lady, —
MARIASay you so? Fair lord, —
Take that for your fair lady.
DUMAINAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 255Please it you,
As much in private, and I'll bid adieu.
KATHARINEWhat, was your vizard made without a tongue?
LONGAVILLEI know the reason, lady, why you ask.
KATHARINEO for your reason! quickly, sir; I long.
LONGAVILLEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 260You have a double tongue within your mask,
And would afford my speechless vizard half.
KATHARINEVeal, quoth the Dutchman. Is not 'veal' a calf?
LONGAVILLEA calf, fair lady!
KATHARINENo, a fair lord calf.
LONGAVILLEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 265Let's part the word.
KATHARINENo, I'll not be your half
Take all, and wean it; it may prove an ox.
LONGAVILLELook, how you butt yourself in these sharp mocks!
Will you give horns, chaste lady? do not so.
KATHARINEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 270Then die a calf, before your horns do grow.
LONGAVILLEOne word in private with you, ere I die.
KATHARINEBleat softly then; the butcher hears you cry.
BOYETThe tongues of mocking wenches are as keen
As is the razor's edge invisible,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 275Cutting a smaller hair than may be seen,
Above the sense of sense; so sensible
Seemeth their conference; their conceits have wings
Fleeter than arrows, bullets, wind, thought, swifter things.
ROSALINENot one word more, my maids; break off, break off.
BIRONAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 280By heaven, all dry-beaten with pure scoff!
FERDINANDFarewell, mad wenches; you have simple wits.
PRINCESSTwenty adieus, my frozen Muscovits.
Are these the breed of wits so wonder'd at?
BOYETTapers they are, with your sweet breaths puff'd out.
ROSALINEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 285Well-liking wits they have; gross, gross; fat, fat.
PRINCESSO poverty in wit, kingly-poor flout!
Will they not, think you, hang themselves tonight?
Or ever, but in vizards, show their faces?
This pert Biron was out of countenance quite.
ROSALINEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 290O, they were all in lamentable cases!
The king was weeping-ripe for a good word.
PRINCESSBiron did swear himself out of all suit.
MARIADumain was at my service, and his sword:
No point, quoth I; my servant straight was mute.
KATHARINEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 295Lord Longaville said, I came o'er his heart;
And trow you what he called me?
PRINCESSQualm, perhaps.
KATHARINEYes, in good faith.
PRINCESSGo, sickness as thou art!
ROSALINEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 300Well, better wits have worn plain statute-caps.
But will you hear? the king is my love sworn.
PRINCESSAnd quick Biron hath plighted faith to me.
KATHARINEAnd Longaville was for my service born.
MARIADumain is mine, as sure as bark on tree.
BOYETAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 305Madam, and pretty mistresses, give ear:
Immediately they will again be here
In their own shapes; for it can never be
They will digest this harsh indignity.
PRINCESSWill they return?
BOYETAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 310They will, they will, God knows,
And leap for joy, though they are lame with blows:
Therefore change favours; and, when they repair,
Blow like sweet roses in this summer air.
PRINCESSHow blow? how blow? speak to be understood.
BOYETAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 315Fair ladies mask'd are roses in their bud;
Dismask'd, their damask sweet commixture shown,
Are angels vailing clouds, or roses blown.
PRINCESSAvaunt, perplexity! What shall we do,
If they return in their own shapes to woo?
ROSALINEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 320Good madam, if by me you'll be advised,
Let's, mock them still, as well known as disguised:
Let us complain to them what fools were here,
Disguised like Muscovites, in shapeless gear;
And wonder what they were and to what end
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 325Their shallow shows and prologue vilely penn'd
And their rough carriage so ridiculous,
Should be presented at our tent to us.
BOYETLadies, withdraw: the gallants are at hand.
PRINCESSWhip to our tents, as roes run o'er land.
FERDINANDAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 330Fair sir, God save you! Where's the princess?
BOYETGone to her tent. Please it your majesty
Command me any service to her thither?
FERDINANDThat she vouchsafe me audience for one word.
BOYETI will; and so will she, I know, my lord.
BIRONAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 335This fellow pecks up wit as pigeons pease,
And utters it again when God doth please:
He is wit's pedler, and retails his wares
At wakes and wassails, meetings, markets, fairs;
And we that sell by gross, the Lord doth know,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 340Have not the grace to grace it with such show.
This gallant pins the wenches on his sleeve;
Had he been Adam, he had tempted Eve;
A' can carve too, and lisp: why, this is he
That kiss'd his hand away in courtesy;
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 345This is the ape of form, monsieur the nice,
That, when he plays at tables, chides the dice
In honourable terms: nay, he can sing
A mean most meanly; and in ushering
Mend him who can: the ladies call him sweet;
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 350The stairs, as he treads on them, kiss his feet:
This is the flower that smiles on every one,
To show his teeth as white as whale's bone;
And consciences, that will not die in debt,
Pay him the due of honey-tongued Boyet.
FERDINANDAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 355A blister on his sweet tongue, with my heart,
That put Armado's page out of his part!
BIRONSee where it comes! Behavior, what wert thou
Till this madman show'd thee? and what art thou now?
FERDINANDAll hail, sweet madam, and fair time of day!
PRINCESSAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 360'Fair' in 'all hail' is foul, as I conceive.
FERDINANDConstrue my speeches better, if you may.
PRINCESSThen wish me better; I will give you leave.
FERDINANDWe came to visit you, and purpose now
To lead you to our court; vouchsafe it then.
PRINCESSAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 365This field shall hold me; and so hold your vow:
Nor God, nor I, delights in perjured men.
FERDINANDRebuke me not for that which you provoke:
The virtue of your eye must break my oath.
PRINCESSYou nickname virtue; vice you should have spoke;
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 370For virtue's office never breaks men's troth.
Now by my maiden honour, yet as pure
As the unsullied lily, I protest,
A world of torments though I should endure,
I would not yield to be your house's guest;
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 375So much I hate a breaking cause to be
Of heavenly oaths, vow'd with integrity.
FERDINANDO, you have lived in desolation here,
Unseen, unvisited, much to our shame.
PRINCESSNot so, my lord; it is not so, I swear;
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 380We have had pastimes here and pleasant game:
A mess of Russians left us but of late.
FERDINANDHow, madam! Russians!
PRINCESSAy, in truth, my lord;
Trim gallants, full of courtship and of state.
ROSALINEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 385Madam, speak true. It is not so, my lord:
My lady, to the manner of the days,
In courtesy gives undeserving praise.
We four indeed confronted were with four
In Russian habit: here they stay'd an hour,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 390And talk'd apace; and in that hour, my lord,
They did not bless us with one happy word.
I dare not call them fools; but this I think,
When they are thirsty, fools would fain have drink.
BIRONThis jest is dry to me. Fair gentle sweet,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 395Your wit makes wise things foolish: when we greet,
With eyes best seeing, heaven's fiery eye,
By light we lose light: your capacity
Is of that nature that to your huge store
Wise things seem foolish and rich things but poor.
ROSALINEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 400This proves you wise and rich, for in my eye, —
BIRONI am a fool, and full of poverty.
ROSALINEBut that you take what doth to you belong,
It were a fault to snatch words from my tongue.
BIRONO, I am yours, and all that I possess!
ROSALINEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 405All the fool mine?
BIRONI cannot give you less.
ROSALINEWhich of the vizards was it that you wore?
BIRONWhere? when? what vizard? why demand you this?
ROSALINEThere, then, that vizard; that superfluous case
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 410That hid the worse and show'd the better face.
FERDINANDWe are descried; they'll mock us now downright.
DUMAINLet us confess and turn it to a jest.
PRINCESSAmazed, my lord? why looks your highness sad?
ROSALINEHelp, hold his brows! he'll swoon! Why look you pale?
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 415Sea-sick, I think, coming from Muscovy.
BIRONThus pour the stars down plagues for perjury.
Can any face of brass hold longer out?
Here stand I lady, dart thy skill at me;
Bruise me with scorn, confound me with a flout;
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 420Thrust thy sharp wit quite through my ignorance;
Cut me to pieces with thy keen conceit;
And I will wish thee never more to dance,
Nor never more in Russian habit wait.
O, never will I trust to speeches penn'd,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 425Nor to the motion of a schoolboy's tongue,
Nor never come in vizard to my friend,
Nor woo in rhyme, like a blind harper's song!
Taffeta phrases, silken terms precise,
Three-piled hyperboles, spruce affectation,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 430Figures pedantical; these summer-flies
Have blown me full of maggot ostentation:
I do forswear them; and I here protest,
By this white glove; — how white the hand, God knows! —
Henceforth my wooing mind shall be express'd
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 435In russet yeas and honest kersey noes:
And, to begin, wench, — so God help me, la! —
My love to thee is sound, sans crack or flaw.
ROSALINESans sans, I pray you.
BIRONYet I have a trick
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 440Of the old rage: bear with me, I am sick;
I'll leave it by degrees. Soft, let us see:
Write, 'Lord have mercy on us' on those three;
They are infected; in their hearts it lies;
They have the plague, and caught it of your eyes;
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 445These lords are visited; you are not free,
For the Lord's tokens on you do I see.
PRINCESSNo, they are free that gave these tokens to us.
BIRONOur states are forfeit: seek not to undo us.
ROSALINEIt is not so; for how can this be true,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 450That you stand forfeit, being those that sue?
BIRONPeace! for I will not have to do with you.
ROSALINENor shall not, if I do as I intend.
BIRONSpeak for yourselves; my wit is at an end.
FERDINANDTeach us, sweet madam, for our rude transgression
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 455Some fair excuse.
PRINCESSThe fairest is confession.
Were not you here but even now disguised?
FERDINANDMadam, I was.
PRINCESSAnd were you well advised?
FERDINANDAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 460I was, fair madam.
PRINCESSWhen you then were here,
What did you whisper in your lady's ear?
FERDINANDThat more than all the world I did respect her.
PRINCESSWhen she shall challenge this, you will reject her.
FERDINANDAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 465Upon mine honour, no.
PRINCESSPeace, peace! forbear:
Your oath once broke, you force not to forswear.
FERDINANDDespise me, when I break this oath of mine.
PRINCESSI will: and therefore keep it. Rosaline,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 470What did the Russian whisper in your ear?
ROSALINEMadam, he swore that he did hold me dear
As precious eyesight, and did value me
Above this world; adding thereto moreover
That he would wed me, or else die my lover.
PRINCESSAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 475God give thee joy of him! the noble lord
Most honourably doth unhold his word.
FERDINANDWhat mean you, madam? by my life, my troth,
I never swore this lady such an oath.
ROSALINEBy heaven, you did; and to confirm it plain,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 480You gave me this: but take it, sir, again.
FERDINANDMy faith and this the princess I did give:
I knew her by this jewel on her sleeve.
PRINCESSPardon me, sir, this jewel did she wear;
And Lord Biron, I thank him, is my dear.
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 485What, will you have me, or your pearl again?
BIRONNeither of either; I remit both twain.
I see the trick on't: here was a consent,
Knowing aforehand of our merriment,
To dash it like a Christmas comedy:
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 490Some carry-tale, some please-man, some slight zany,
Some mumble-news, some trencher-knight, some Dick,
That smiles his cheek in years and knows the trick
To make my lady laugh when she's disposed,
Told our intents before; which once disclosed,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 495The ladies did change favours: and then we,
Following the signs, woo'd but the sign of she.
Now, to our perjury to add more terror,
We are again forsworn, in will and error.
Much upon this it is: and might not you
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 500Forestall our sport, to make us thus untrue?
Do not you know my lady's foot by the squier,
And laugh upon the apple of her eye?
And stand between her back, sir, and the fire,
Holding a trencher, jesting merrily?
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 505You put our page out: go, you are allow'd;
Die when you will, a smock shall be your shroud.
You leer upon me, do you? there's an eye
Wounds like a leaden sword.
BOYETFull merrily
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 510Hath this brave manage, this career, been run.
BIRONLo, he is tilting straight! Peace! I have done.
Welcome, pure wit! thou partest a fair fray.
COSTARDO Lord, sir, they would know
Whether the three Worthies shall come in or no.
BIRONAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 515What, are there but three?
COSTARDNo, sir; but it is vara fine,
For every one pursents three.
BIRONAnd three times thrice is nine.
COSTARDNot so, sir; under correction, sir; I hope it is not so.
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 520You cannot beg us, sir, I can assure you, sir we know
what we know:
I hope, sir, three times thrice, sir, —
BIRONIs not nine.
COSTARDUnder correction, sir, we know whereuntil it doth amount.
BIRONAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 525By Jove, I always took three threes for nine.
COSTARDO Lord, sir, it were pity you should get your living
by reckoning, sir.
BIRONHow much is it?
COSTARDO Lord, sir, the parties themselves, the actors,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 530sir, will show whereuntil it doth amount: for mine
own part, I am, as they say, but to parfect one man
in one poor man, Pompion the Great, sir.
BIRONArt thou one of the Worthies?
COSTARDIt pleased them to think me worthy of Pompion the
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 535Great: for mine own part, I know not the degree of
the Worthy, but I am to stand for him.
BIRONGo, bid them prepare.
COSTARDWe will turn it finely off, sir; we will take
some care.
FERDINANDAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 540Biron, they will shame us: let them not approach.
BIRONWe are shame-proof, my lord: and tis some policy
To have one show worse than the king's and his company.
FERDINANDI say they shall not come.
PRINCESSNay, my good lord, let me o'errule you now:
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 545That sport best pleases that doth least know how:
Where zeal strives to content, and the contents
Dies in the zeal of that which it presents:
Their form confounded makes most form in mirth,
When great things labouring perish in their birth.
BIRONAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 550A right description of our sport, my lord.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOAnointed, I implore so much expense of thy royal
sweet breath as will utter a brace of words.
PRINCESSDoth this man serve God?
BIRONWhy ask you?
PRINCESSAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 555He speaks not like a man of God's making.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOThat is all one, my fair, sweet, honey monarch; for,
I protest, the schoolmaster is exceeding
fantastical; too, too vain, too too vain: but we
will put it, as they say, to fortuna de la guerra.
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 560I wish you the peace of mind, most royal couplement!
FERDINANDHere is like to be a good presence of Worthies. He
presents Hector of Troy; the swain, Pompey the
Great; the parish curate, Alexander; Armado's page,
Hercules; the pedant, Judas Maccabaeus: And if
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 565these four Worthies in their first show thrive,
These four will change habits, and present the other five.
BIRONThere is five in the first show.
FERDINANDYou are deceived; 'tis not so.
BIRONThe pedant, the braggart, the hedge-priest, the fool
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 570and the boy: —
Abate throw at novum, and the whole world again
Cannot pick out five such, take each one in his vein.
FERDINANDThe ship is under sail, and here she comes amain.
COSTARDI Pompey am, —
BOYETAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 575You lie, you are not he.
COSTARDI Pompey am, —
BOYETWith libbard's head on knee.
BIRONWell said, old mocker: I must needs be friends
with thee.
COSTARDAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 580I Pompey am, Pompey surnamed the Big —
DUMAINThe Great.
COSTARDIt is, 'Great,' sir: —
Pompey surnamed the Great;
That oft in field, with targe and shield, did make
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 585my foe to sweat:
And travelling along this coast, I here am come by chance,
And lay my arms before the legs of this sweet lass of France,
If your ladyship would say, 'Thanks, Pompey,' I had done.
PRINCESSGreat thanks, great Pompey.
COSTARDAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 590'Tis not so much worth; but I hope I was perfect: I
made a little fault in 'Great.'
BIRONMy hat to a halfpenny, Pompey proves the best Worthy.
SIR NATHANIELWhen in the world I lived, I was the world's
commander;
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 595By east, west, north, and south, I spread my
conquering might:
My scutcheon plain declares that I am Alisander, —
BOYETYour nose says, no, you are not for it stands too right.
BIRONYour nose smells 'no' in this, most tender-smelling knight.
PRINCESSAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 600The conqueror is dismay'd. Proceed, good Alexander.
SIR NATHANIELWhen in the world I lived, I was the world's
commander, —
BOYETMost true, 'tis right; you were so, Alisander.
BIRONPompey the Great, —
COSTARDAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 605Your servant, and Costard.
BIRONTake away the conqueror, take away Alisander.
COSTARD O, sir, you have overthrown
Alisander the conqueror! You will be scraped out of
the painted cloth for this: your lion, that holds
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 610his poll-axe sitting on a close-stool, will be given
to Ajax: he will be the ninth Worthy. A conqueror,
and afeard to speak! run away for shame, Alisander.
There, an't shall please you; a foolish mild man; an
honest man, look you, and soon dashed. He is a
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 615marvellous good neighbour, faith, and a very good
bowler: but, for Alisander, — alas, you see how
'tis, — a little o'erparted. But there are Worthies
a-coming will speak their mind in some other sort.
HOLOFERNESGreat Hercules is presented by this imp,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 620Whose club kill'd Cerberus, that three-headed canis;
And when he was a babe, a child, a shrimp,
Thus did he strangle serpents in his manus.
Quoniam he seemeth in minority,
Ergo I come with this apology.
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 625Keep some state in thy exit, and vanish.
Judas I am, —
DUMAINA Judas!
HOLOFERNESNot Iscariot, sir.
Judas I am, ycliped Maccabaeus.
DUMAINAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 630Judas Maccabaeus clipt is plain Judas.
BIRONA kissing traitor. How art thou proved Judas?
HOLOFERNESJudas I am, —
DUMAINThe more shame for you, Judas.
HOLOFERNESWhat mean you, sir?
BOYETAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 635To make Judas hang himself.
HOLOFERNESBegin, sir; you are my elder.
BIRONWell followed: Judas was hanged on an elder.
HOLOFERNESI will not be put out of countenance.
BIRONBecause thou hast no face.
HOLOFERNESAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 640What is this?
BOYETA cittern-head.
DUMAINThe head of a bodkin.
BIRONA Death's face in a ring.
LONGAVILLEThe face of an old Roman coin, scarce seen.
BOYETAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 645The pommel of Caesar's falchion.
DUMAINThe carved-bone face on a flask.
BIRONSaint George's half-cheek in a brooch.
DUMAINAy, and in a brooch of lead.
BIRONAy, and worn in the cap of a tooth-drawer.
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 650And now forward; for we have put thee in countenance.
HOLOFERNESYou have put me out of countenance.
BIRONFalse; we have given thee faces.
HOLOFERNESBut you have out-faced them all.
BIRONAn thou wert a lion, we would do so.
BOYETAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 655Therefore, as he is an ass, let him go.
And so adieu, sweet Jude! nay, why dost thou stay?
DUMAINFor the latter end of his name.
BIRONFor the ass to the Jude; give it him: — Jud-as, away!
HOLOFERNESThis is not generous, not gentle, not humble.
BOYETAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 660A light for Monsieur Judas! it grows dark, he may stumble.
PRINCESSAlas, poor Maccabaeus, how hath he been baited!
BIRONHide thy head, Achilles: here comes Hector in arms.
DUMAINThough my mocks come home by me, I will now be merry.
FERDINANDHector was but a Troyan in respect of this.
BOYETAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 665But is this Hector?
FERDINANDI think Hector was not so clean-timbered.
LONGAVILLEHis leg is too big for Hector's.
DUMAINMore calf, certain.
BOYETNo; he is best endued in the small.
BIRONAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 670This cannot be Hector.
DUMAINHe's a god or a painter; for he makes faces.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOThe armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty,
Gave Hector a gift, —
DUMAINA gilt nutmeg.
BIRONAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 675A lemon.
LONGAVILLEStuck with cloves.
DUMAINNo, cloven.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOPeace! —
The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 680Gave Hector a gift, the heir of Ilion;
A man so breathed, that certain he would fight; yea
From morn till night, out of his pavilion.
I am that flower, —
DUMAINThat mint.
LONGAVILLEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 685That columbine.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOSweet Lord Longaville, rein thy tongue.
LONGAVILLEI must rather give it the rein, for it runs against Hector.
DUMAINAy, and Hector's a greyhound.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOThe sweet war-man is dead and rotten; sweet chucks,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 690beat not the bones of the buried: when he breathed,
he was a man. But I will forward with my device.
Sweet royalty, bestow on me the sense of hearing.
PRINCESSSpeak, brave Hector: we are much delighted.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOI do adore thy sweet grace's slipper.
BOYETAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 695 Loves her by the foot, —
DUMAIN He may not by the yard.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOThis Hector far surmounted Hannibal, —
COSTARDThe party is gone, fellow Hector, she is gone; she
is two months on her way.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 700What meanest thou?
COSTARDFaith, unless you play the honest Troyan, the poor
wench is cast away: she's quick; the child brags in
her belly already: tis yours.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADODost thou infamonize me among potentates? thou shalt
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 705die.
COSTARDThen shall Hector be whipped for Jaquenetta that is
quick by him and hanged for Pompey that is dead by
him.
DUMAINMost rare Pompey!
BOYETAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 710Renowned Pompey!
BIRONGreater than great, great, great, great Pompey!
Pompey the Huge!
DUMAINHector trembles.
BIRONPompey is moved. More Ates, more Ates! stir them
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 715on! stir them on!
DUMAINHector will challenge him.
BIRONAy, if a' have no man's blood in's belly than will
sup a flea.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOBy the north pole, I do challenge thee.
COSTARDAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 720I will not fight with a pole, like a northern man:
I'll slash; I'll do it by the sword. I bepray you,
let me borrow my arms again.
DUMAINRoom for the incensed Worthies!
COSTARDI'll do it in my shirt.
DUMAINAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 725Most resolute Pompey!
MOTHMaster, let me take you a buttonhole lower. Do you
not see Pompey is uncasing for the combat? What mean
you? You will lose your reputation.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOGentlemen and soldiers, pardon me; I will not combat
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 730in my shirt.
DUMAINYou may not deny it: Pompey hath made the challenge.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOSweet bloods, I both may and will.
BIRONWhat reason have you for't?
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOThe naked truth of it is, I have no shirt; I go
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 735woolward for penance.
BOYETTrue, and it was enjoined him in Rome for want of
linen: since when, I'll be sworn, he wore none but
a dishclout of Jaquenetta's, and that a' wears next
his heart for a favour.
MERCADEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 740God save you, madam!
PRINCESSWelcome, Mercade;
But that thou interrupt'st our merriment.
MERCADEI am sorry, madam; for the news I bring
Is heavy in my tongue. The king your father —
PRINCESSAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 745Dead, for my life!
MERCADEEven so; my tale is told.
BIRONWorthies, away! the scene begins to cloud.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOFor mine own part, I breathe free breath. I have
seen the day of wrong through the little hole of
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 750discretion, and I will right myself like a soldier.
FERDINANDHow fares your majesty?
PRINCESSBoyet, prepare; I will away tonight.
FERDINANDMadam, not so; I do beseech you, stay.
PRINCESSPrepare, I say. I thank you, gracious lords,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 755For all your fair endeavors; and entreat,
Out of a new-sad soul, that you vouchsafe
In your rich wisdom to excuse or hide
The liberal opposition of our spirits,
If over-boldly we have borne ourselves
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 760In the converse of breath: your gentleness
Was guilty of it. Farewell worthy lord!
A heavy heart bears not a nimble tongue:
Excuse me so, coming too short of thanks
For my great suit so easily obtain'd.
FERDINANDAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 765The extreme parts of time extremely forms
All causes to the purpose of his speed,
And often at his very loose decides
That which long process could not arbitrate:
And though the mourning brow of progeny
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 770Forbid the smiling courtesy of love
The holy suit which fain it would convince,
Yet, since love's argument was first on foot,
Let not the cloud of sorrow justle it
From what it purposed; since, to wail friends lost
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 775Is not by much so wholesome-profitable
As to rejoice at friends but newly found.
PRINCESSI understand you not: my griefs are double.
BIRONHonest plain words best pierce the ear of grief;
And by these badges understand the king.
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 780For your fair sakes have we neglected time,
Play'd foul play with our oaths: your beauty, ladies,
Hath much deform'd us, fashioning our humours
Even to the opposed end of our intents:
And what in us hath seem'd ridiculous, —
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 785As love is full of unbefitting strains,
All wanton as a child, skipping and vain,
Form'd by the eye and therefore, like the eye,
Full of strange shapes, of habits and of forms,
Varying in subjects as the eye doth roll
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 790To every varied object in his glance:
Which parti-coated presence of loose love
Put on by us, if, in your heavenly eyes,
Have misbecomed our oaths and gravities,
Those heavenly eyes, that look into these faults,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 795Suggested us to make. Therefore, ladies,
Our love being yours, the error that love makes
Is likewise yours: we to ourselves prove false,
By being once false for ever to be true
To those that make us both, — fair ladies, you:
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 800And even that falsehood, in itself a sin,
Thus purifies itself and turns to grace.
PRINCESSWe have received your letters full of love;
Your favours, the ambassadors of love;
And, in our maiden council, rated them
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 805At courtship, pleasant jest and courtesy,
As bombast and as lining to the time:
But more devout than this in our respects
Have we not been; and therefore met your loves
In their own fashion, like a merriment.
DUMAINAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 810Our letters, madam, show'd much more than jest.
LONGAVILLESo did our looks.
ROSALINEWe did not quote them so.
FERDINANDNow, at the latest minute of the hour,
Grant us your loves.
PRINCESSAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 815A time, methinks, too short
To make a world-without-end bargain in.
No, no, my lord, your grace is perjured much,
Full of dear guiltiness; and therefore this:
If for my love, as there is no such cause,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 820You will do aught, this shall you do for me:
Your oath I will not trust; but go with speed
To some forlorn and naked hermitage,
Remote from all the pleasures of the world;
There stay until the twelve celestial signs
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 825Have brought about the annual reckoning.
If this austere insociable life
Change not your offer made in heat of blood;
If frosts and fasts, hard lodging and thin weeds
Nip not the gaudy blossoms of your love,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 830But that it bear this trial and last love;
Then, at the expiration of the year,
Come challenge me, challenge me by these deserts,
And, by this virgin palm now kissing thine
I will be thine; and till that instant shut
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 835My woeful self up in a mourning house,
Raining the tears of lamentation
For the remembrance of my father's death.
If this thou do deny, let our hands part,
Neither entitled in the other's heart.
FERDINANDAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 840If this, or more than this, I would deny,
To flatter up these powers of mine with rest,
The sudden hand of death close up mine eye!
Hence ever then my heart is in thy breast.
BIRON[And what to me, my love? and what to me?
ROSALINEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 845You must be purged too, your sins are rack'd,
You are attaint with faults and perjury:
Therefore if you my favour mean to get,
A twelvemonth shall you spend, and never rest,
But seek the weary beds of people sick.]
DUMAINAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 850But what to me, my love? but what to me? A wife?
KATHARINEA beard, fair health, and honesty;
With three-fold love I wish you all these three.
DUMAINO, shall I say, I thank you, gentle wife?
KATHARINENot so, my lord; a twelvemonth and a day
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 855I'll mark no words that smooth-faced wooers say:
Come when the king doth to my lady come;
Then, if I have much love, I'll give you some.
DUMAINI'll serve thee true and faithfully till then.
KATHARINEYet swear not, lest ye be forsworn again.
LONGAVILLEAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 860What says Maria?
MARIAAt the twelvemonth's end
I'll change my black gown for a faithful friend.
LONGAVILLEI'll stay with patience; but the time is long.
MARIAThe liker you; few taller are so young.
BIRONAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 865Studies my lady? mistress, look on me;
Behold the window of my heart, mine eye,
What humble suit attends thy answer there:
Impose some service on me for thy love.
ROSALINEOft have I heard of you, my Lord Biron,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 870Before I saw you; and the world's large tongue
Proclaims you for a man replete with mocks,
Full of comparisons and wounding flouts,
Which you on all estates will execute
That lie within the mercy of your wit.
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 875To weed this wormwood from your fruitful brain,
And therewithal to win me, if you please,
Without the which I am not to be won,
You shall this twelvemonth term from day to day
Visit the speechless sick and still converse
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 880With groaning wretches; and your task shall be,
With all the fierce endeavor of your wit
To enforce the pained impotent to smile.
BIRONTo move wild laughter in the throat of death?
It cannot be; it is impossible:
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 885Mirth cannot move a soul in agony.
ROSALINEWhy, that's the way to choke a gibing spirit,
Whose influence is begot of that loose grace
Which shallow laughing hearers give to fools:
A jest's prosperity lies in the ear
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 890Of him that hears it, never in the tongue
Of him that makes it: then, if sickly ears,
Deaf'd with the clamours of their own dear groans,
Will hear your idle scorns, continue then,
And I will have you and that fault withal;
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 895But if they will not, throw away that spirit,
And I shall find you empty of that fault,
Right joyful of your reformation.
BIRONA twelvemonth! well; befall what will befall,
I'll jest a twelvemonth in an hospital.
PRINCESSAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 900 Ay, sweet my lord; and so I take my leave.
FERDINANDNo, madam; we will bring you on your way.
BIRONOur wooing doth not end like an old play;
Jack hath not Jill: these ladies' courtesy
Might well have made our sport a comedy.
FERDINANDAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 905Come, sir, it wants a twelvemonth and a day,
And then 'twill end.
BIRONThat's too long for a play.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOSweet majesty, vouchsafe me, —
PRINCESSWas not that Hector?
DUMAINAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 910The worthy knight of Troy.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOI will kiss thy royal finger, and take leave. I am
a votary; I have vowed to Jaquenetta to hold the
plough for her sweet love three years. But, most
esteemed greatness, will you hear the dialogue that
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 915the two learned men have compiled in praise of the
owl and the cuckoo? It should have followed in the
end of our show.
FERDINANDCall them forth quickly; we will do so.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOHolla! approach.
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 920This side is Hiems, Winter, this Ver, the Spring;
the one maintained by the owl, the other by the
cuckoo. Ver, begin.
When daisies pied and violets blue
And lady-smocks all silver-white
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 925And cuckoo-buds of yellow hue
Do paint the meadows with delight,
The cuckoo then, on every tree,
Mocks married men; for thus sings he, Cuckoo;
Cuckoo, cuckoo: O word of fear,
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 930Unpleasing to a married ear!
When shepherds pipe on oaten straws
And merry larks are ploughmen's clocks,
When turtles tread, and rooks, and daws,
And maidens bleach their summer smocks
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 935The cuckoo then, on every tree,
Mocks married men; for thus sings he, Cuckoo;
Cuckoo, cuckoo: O word of fear,
Unpleasing to a married ear!
When icicles hang by the wall
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 940And Dick the shepherd blows his nail
And Tom bears logs into the hall
And milk comes frozen home in pail,
When blood is nipp'd and ways be foul,
Then nightly sings the staring owl, Tu-whit;
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 945Tu-who, a merry note,
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
When all aloud the wind doth blow
And coughing drowns the parson's saw
And birds sit brooding in the snow
Act 5 Sc 2 Ln 950And Marian's nose looks red and raw,
When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl,
Then nightly sings the staring owl, Tu-whit;
Tu-who, a merry note,
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADOAct 5 Sc 2 Ln 955The words of Mercury are harsh after the songs of
Apollo. You that way: we this way.